DRESS for SUCCESS!
PRETEND to be IMPORTANT!
You don't NEED Ability!
What do YOU think?Be Consistent and People Will Respect You
"I stand by all the misstatements I've made"
-Future President Dan Quayle
Of course, you'll need some COMPETENT PEOPLE working for you.
Just treat them with honesty and candor and you'll inspire LOYALTY.
And make sure they know that YOU aren't responsible
when the layoffs begin.
Unfortunately Competent People
are getting tougher to find.
MEDIOCRITY TAKES A LOT LESS TIME.
And most people won't notice the difference.
UNTIL IT'S TOO LATE
TESTIFICATION of the GODS
Let's preach this place
DAMN YOU BABY JESUS!
Women, the proof is in. Guys are descended from dogs.
Whores 'R' Us, house niggers for finer homes.
All you ever do is whine and brag
My fantasy of "The Nose"
The Threefold Shadow Scam
FAKE HIPPIES and HUMAN BEACHBALLS
I'M O.K.--YOU SUCK
They're made out of meat
SOMEONE IS MAKING YOUR STANDARDS FOR YOU
How to avoid spamming alt.slack
The master Gutei made a practice of raising his finger
KRAKATOA EAST OF DOBBSTOWN
This week in Criminally Insane News
Take a look at where intelligence has gotten mankind
Freed from the OBLIGATION to make sense
We can make pets of them, and care for them
For every new trick you learn, the Tobacco Demons learn two
Mad scientists perfect ultimate pet
Brag of the SubGenius Earthworm
Death and Cows, and other such things
Have you pulled the wool AAALLLLLL the way down?
The Beautiful and Practical Electronic Tree
= AN HONEST PRAYER =
Did Psychos-R-Us request this site?
So here we have a central tenet of the Church
Sometimes such tactics are blatant
The Asphalt Parking Lot of Hell
Jesus as a potential rapist
Why Haven't Aliens Come To Visit Us?
The Yeti is bred for MASTERY
Things are going to Hell on a fast train
What "Bob" meant
My new life as a SubGenius mutant
Our Implacable, Indominitable, Unswerving HATE
DOKSTOK - A REQUEST
The weak weed themselves out.
Hey, you got your hip-hop on my alien butt-probe!
A wide variety of criminal and amoral activities
Satan sees MWOWM
Hi. I'd rather not give you my name
Luck plane gave me Tourettes
Charlie's clam chowdah
Somebody finally broached the subject of cheese
little red cherries
Chicken Barbeque Sauce
Dial For Kids
All the bugs you can eat
It's Turnaround time in Dallas
Another one spams the net
Gay Wiccan Hippies
Children have tiny little heads
Layers of matter/energy/living material within a golf ball
Failure Is Almost Inevitable
A Lama Scalps a Yeti
I'm sending in the TROPES
IF YOU TOUCH A FISH IT MEANS A THING
The Real Highway System
MegaSwaggarts of Guilt
I have an idea for drunk drivers too
Let's abolish Mozart
This has to do with Plato's Eternal Forms
Plato was full of shit
The gratest PONK artisette yet
LAST BUREAUCRATIC OCTOPUS LIQUIDIZER TRAGEDY CLAIM
LETTERS TO DOBBSTOWN
This chain letter has not only brought people back from the dead
SUPER-FEELY ROBO-ANTENNA (RETRACTABLE)!!!!!!!!!
This week I was trying to take a shit
The selling of the Dobbshead (TM) copyright to Bob Dean
When Man, in his great vanity, meddles with the Unknown
Being on Fire; an excremeditation
Why They Are Here
Me, indecisive? I don't think I am, do you?
ShadowPuppet Condupe traps
Notice to all seekers of The Truth
Merely the TIP of a ROGUE ICEBERG
Fuzzy animal bitterness
High morality is a luxury
Onward to ARTICLES Part 11
Onward to ARTICLES Part 12
Onward to ARTICLES Part 14
Onward to ARTICLES Part 15
Onward to ARTICLES Part 16
Back to ARTICLES Part 9
ARTICLES Part 2
ARTICLES Part 1
***Nenslitic Dobbshead mindlessly perverted here using commercial software which we had no part in developing***