On Slack Suckers and Slack Wasters and Whose Fault Is That?

- a sermon by Doktor Dynasoar Iridium. Praise "Bob".



What is the CON? That which steals our Slack.

Who are the CON? The people that steal it.


The CON as a conspiracy doesn't know that it exists, simply because

it does not exist as an organized effort. It doesn't even exist as a

"them" for "us" to be against. This is simply because us IS them.

More precisely, those who would steal our Slack -- on purpose or not

-- are always around us. And I submit that whether or not they set out

to steal your Slack, it is your own fault if it gets stolen. In fact,

I say it doesn't even really get stolen, but that YOU HAND IT OVER.


I've been completely silent on several things lately because I've been

mulling this over. A lot of you lost a lot of Slack to Legume and his

prank. A lot of you are losing a lot of Slack to Nickie. If they steal

your Slack, WHOSE FAULT IS THAT? This all happened for me when Nenslo

came on and started being Nenslo. I lost a LOT of Slack to him. Then I

caught on and realized that he didn't take anything from me that I didn't

give away. That lesson was valuable enough that I contributed to

keeping him online. I have no doubt I'm someone else's CON, that I

take away someone's Slack. If this weren't so, I'd be pretty damn

certain that this wasn't the Church of the Subgenius at all, but just

another fan-of-each-other club. We are not the kind of beings that

fit in; that's why we are what we are. Expecting us to fit in even

amoungst ourselves is a reasonable but fatal mistake.


This doesn't even require consideration of whether "they" are right,

wrong, or indifferent. Because it's not about them. They will always

exist. And in fact each and every one of you are the CON because

whether or not you intend to, you steal someone's Slack because

they hand it over to you. Every one of us is someone else's CON.

The CON's existence is not its own fault, it's all of ours.


Insisting on there being a right and a wrong about it will only cause

you to toss more Slack to the wind. That's your right. If you think

life needs to be fair, that someone has to be pegged for it, fine.

Personally I can't see wasting my Slack by burning it up in a useless

attempt to devise some kind of Slack-defense against someone who is

only stealing what I'm throwing at them. Nobody but you is sticking

that "kick me" sign on your back.


I keep remembering Ken Kesey's speech at Berkley where he said "you

can't stop a war by marching and fighting. You have to say "fuck it"

and walk away. Well, kids, you can't beat the Slack sucking CON

by fighting with it because that's exactly how it gets your Slack

from you.


If you want to KEEP your Slack, then I suggest you hitch up your

self-concept and refuse to hand it out like Halloween candy. If you

can't keep yourself from doing those things which cause you to lose

Slack to others, then you're wasting time blaming others for your

inability. You'd be much better off developing the ability instead

of practicing your inability right into the ground.


Am I right? Try it. Simply refuse to participate in that which costs

you Slack. Just walk away. Can you grasp the difference between

letting someone else Win and letting them be wrong? Do you need to be

Right or do you need to prove the point? If the latter, then you're

not well enough convinced yourself. If you're going to refuse to take

responsibility for your own weakness, you can get used to others

exploiting it.


Just ignore it, killfile it if need be, and walk away. That's faith

and if your Slack is real, your faith will protect it and it will

increase. You can keep your Slack and put it to good use where it will

work for you, or you can throw it away. If you insist on spilling your

cup that runneth over with Slack, don't come crying to "Bob" to fill

it up again. That which feeds on your Slack cannot exist without your

help. You can't kill it, but you can make it feed elsewhere.