Subject: Novice Rant

Date: 23 Oct 1996 16:46:20 GMT

From: "Myrkury" <MyRK@VOICENET.com>

Organization: Voicenet - Internet Access - (215)674-9290

Newsgroups: alt.slack

 

Hold on to your CAPROLITHS cause this train ain't stoppin till we get to

THE PROMISED LAND diner. If the pain makes you black out, you were a fool

to sit on my mutinus elegans. I will explode the pathetic sphaerocyst you

call a brain, because I drive the SIX SPOKED CAR. I leave burnt rubber

across the forehead of the cosmos. I gave Enoch a ride when he was

hitching his way to the angelic abode and then I THREW THE BASTARD DOWN

FROM THE SKY. I use teflon brake pads; my windshield is painted CHERRY

RED; I got a thirty can BONUS PACK under the hood; my fuzz-buster ABORTS

COPS IN THE FIRST TRIMESTER; I got a gear shift cover made from the penis

of the MINOTAUR; my fenders are ELECTROMAGNETS and my insurance is LAPSED.

SO C'MON LITTLE GIRL GET INTO MY BIG BLACK CAR. I'll take you to see the

brown DWARVES of auris caseatus, hear the PULSING THROB of the

Ur-Prostate, smell the stench of the PARTIALLY DIGESTED TELEVANGELISTS

within my bowels, taste the fury of my INDIFFERENCE. Because I created

the world in my infancy when THE WATERS OF CREATION broke forth from my

HYDROCEPHALIC skull. Misguided fools your mandala is washed away in my

brain flood, all the true symbols are on my business card. ARE YOU SO

AFRAID THAT YOU'LL TAKE A RIDE WITH THE DEMI-URGE, he drives a goddam

PINTO. I warned you not to get into his car and now its TOO LATE cause

when I'm sucking adrenochrome straight from the galactic tit you're gonna

be force fed MAYO with a bellows made from the scrotum of St. Paul of the

ELEPHANTINE GONADS. I'll bet MARY JO KOPEKNE wished she'd taken a ride

in my car. But I'll make it easy for you, cause who do you think it was

that gave GILGAMESH AND ENKIDU K-Y JELLY? or DAVID A COLT .45? or JESUS A

BIG SHOT OF FENATYL? Spurn my offer again and I will run you down like

a blind man in Pamplona, I will grind you between the wheels within

wheels, I will deliver you unto Lot's neighbors, I WILL STUFF ALL BUT

YOUR HEAD INTO A PORE ON MY NOSE AND PICK AT YOU LIKE A ZIT. I can teach

a redneck the difference between his ass and a hole in the ground, but I

have hardened your heart to the fact that there's NO DAMN REASON TO WEAR A

SEAT BELT IN A PINTO. Unstrap yourself and stick your ass out the window.

I hung my ass out the window and created the astroid belt. The Van Allen

radiation belt removes static and softens fabric what other proof of my

mercy is there? THE PROOF OF MY MERCY WILL LEAVE A 6" CREASE IN YOUR

SKULL. The filth of the gutters is my body, ST. IDES is my blood, and

they are 99.44% PURE. My Bronchae are the GAS AND STEAM pipes of

Manhattan and I will purge you like a parasite. The SHINY SIDE blocks my

beam BUT THE DULL SIDE RELAYS 'EM you can't win. YOU ARE THE PATHETIC

LITTLE FLATWORM WITH TWO HEADS THAT LIVES IN EVERY HIGH SCHOOL LAB. And I

am the TWO FISTED GUILLOTINE.......What's the word? GIANT TURD! What's

the price? HUMAN LIFE! What's the reason? GREED AND TREASON! What's

the occasion? DEAD MAN RAISIN'!......[the rest of the communication

consisted of a mathematical formula proving that a diet of water and Meow

Mix will cause you to live six weeks longer than you would have anyway.]

--

Myrkury Josephus Third Aviator of ZENO,

Keeper of the breifcase of the 75,937,500,500 names

Send all contribuions c/o William Gates: Inmate #666

H.R.H's Correctional Home for Boys

4327 Whylster Ct.

Donnington UK

"Next, when you are describing

A shape, or sound, or tint

Don't state the matter plainly

But put it in a hint

And learn to look at all things

With a sort of mental squid"

L. "We're through the looking glass now folks" Carrol