From: (David F Lynch)

Subject: Re: another reason to shoot Dobbs

Date: 26 Jul 1997 19:46:17 GMT


DAYKARAK ( wrote:

: Hey, I just thought of something: Lynch, you're of the Subgenius, right?

: Aren't they against all forms of niceness and cuteness and so on (or as,

: they were called in that pamphlet, "pinks")? Has there been any talk of

: wiping out Hanson AND VH-1 in one brilliant sweep?


Pinkness can appear cute, but there's always a secret ugliness to it.

We want to expose the secret smut and take all the lost change from the

giant sofa of the Conspiracy. Yes, I am an ordained Subgenius minister, and

it is our sworn goal sent by the flaming sword of JHVH-1 to destroy the

Conspiracy. However, we only own THREE nuclear weapons next to the

thousands of nuclear weapons owned by the Conspiracy- if we attempted to

take them out with force, it would be a complete blowout, and we wouldn't

even get any good press from it. No, the cult that goes nova too soon will

not persist. We are still in the process of raising support for our goals

in anticipation of the arrival of the X-ist saucers in 1998. However, I

personally believe that there has been some mix-up in the dates between

1998 and 1989, and our eschatology is hotly disputed right now. Sooner or

later one front will gain the dominant hand within the Cult and solidify

end-times dogma, but that won't be until the end-times themselves happen.


For instance, I personally believe that the seeds of MWOWM were planted,

obelisk-like, by the X-ists in '89, along with the fortitude needed to

preserve Earth from destruction of the Conspiracy before 1998. A "booster

shot", if you will. The Conspiracy has not yet mastered the "MWOWM Terminals"

(MWOWM, BTW, is the giant supercomputer that will be ironically enough a

key element to the destruction of the Pinks- "give any one species too much

rope" and all that.), but the Subgenii have been working on them- Slackware

Linux is of course an outgrowth of primitive MWOWM technology. Anyway,

despite all the specific predictions, nobody _really_ knows what will happen

on July 5, 1998. Whether the bodies of the card-carrying Subgenii will

be "ruptured" onto the X-ist flying saucers fo the sex goddesses (this is

the majority view, but IMO evidence strongly points to the theory that

the "rupture", as it is called, actually happened in 1989. I further believe

that the "rupture" was responsible for usurping the bodies of the LATENT

Subgenii as well. The 1989 date was needed to man the X-ist saucers- when

they return, we shall find that the "pilots" of the saucers winging their

way to us are actually CONTROLLED from "Planet X"- so called not only because

that is what the Pink media will dub it, but because its true identity has

been hidden from "Bob" and thus ourselves (we know many things that "Bob"

doesn't, but in the realm of spiritual truth "Bob" knows everything, even if

he doesn't UNDERSTAND it as we would understand- he's a Savant Messiah,

capable of acting on information that carries no meaning whatsoever to him.)-

by OUR RUPTURED OVERMAN/UBERWOMAN BODIES, and all intra-saucer sex will

be only as per ONANISM- the formation of TYM (True Yeti Mate) saucer cells

will follow closely, if it hasn't already, I think- anyway, this will hold

with the prophecies of the Book of Trubee (cf. Book of Rift, "Murdering

Hell's Happy Cretins"). The reason we persist in meat-life is of course

to give us the chance for revenge upon the Conspiracy, to become personally

involved in a way the Ascended Yeti forms of ourselves were not. The

importance of the membership card, then, becomes that of an umbilical link

to those Outer Yeti, a means for receiving instructions from beyond-

it should be kept on one's person at all times, or eaten- the Nental elements

present in the card will not pass through one's bowels. I THINK. The

importance of 1998? Still a mystery- but despite the paramount but destined

to be ignored importance of '89 (could we REALLY have surived Reagan/Bush

without DIVINE INTERVENTION? When did Bush become, instead of a monstrous

CIA covert operative, an ineffectual twit who couldn't even get REELECTED?

1989. July 5. Cf. also July 6, 1189, being declared "Time Immemorial".),

I feel that July 5, 1998 DOES have a separate, pivotal, role, which is how

it made it into the books. I posit that Stang or somebody interpreted

the variance between '89 and '98 as more evidence of Dobbs' mental

derangement. (Dobbs himself, incidentally, while ironically becoming most

famous personally for the Church, had his hand in many pies, and had very

little to do with the Church itself. He was in reality a very savvy trend

manufacturer and marketer, responsible for the Hula Hoop, Slinky, Microwave

Oven, and millions of other peripheral household items. His inspiration in

business was Shadrock Bailey, inventor of the safety match. Not all of his

ideas sold, though. Dobbs seized upon the Church and copyrighted it and

all in a marketing frenzy in the '50s under the influence of L. Ron Hubbard,

but quickly tossed it away as "unsaleable", and the idea lay dormant until

the 1970s, when he was able to license it to a struggling experimental

filmmaker known to the world as "Ivan Stang" nowadays. Against everyone's

expectations, including "Stang"'s, the Church became a moderate success-

Stang attributed his luck to Dobbs (whence it might possibly be due, but

not in the degree given), and he became an object of veneration. Dobbs

was ambivalent about this, just as the Church was ambivalent about him,

and after his death from stroke in 1982, Stang even went on to invent a

FICTIONAL "Dobbs". If he's LUCKY Dobbs isn't REALLY a "god", or

"immortal". The Church itself was not invented by Dobbs, of course, but

has been around since the dawn of the Yeti; the commercialistic aspects

of course were not practiced actively in Mutantis.) Anyway, in light of

these facts, the events to occur at 7 AM on July 5, 1998 become once more

mysterious.) So, I might have skimped on Conspiracy-fighting strategies

here, but the basics are very simple anyway- the spread of bulldada and

morealism. Make the truth more attractive than lies. Dig?


Dave (Not David) Lynch/Eligible Mutant Bachelor Uebergeek at Large


Brrr-woowoowooowooowoowoo-brrrRRRRRrrrrr (Galaxians 7/83)