Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as

"cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared

through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll

see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript

of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex.

Then again, maybe he does...


Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?


Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high

heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements

are 36-24-36. What do you look like?


Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on

a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also

wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from smells funny.


Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?


Wellhung: OK


Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the

stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into

your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and

begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.


Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.


Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.


Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.


Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.


Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.


Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk

slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and



Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a

hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.


Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.


Wellhung: I'll pay for it.


Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra.My soft

breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.


Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck.

Do you have any scissors?


Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back

undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my

breasts. My nipples are erect for you.


Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting

the clasp.


Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your

tongue all over me.


Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know,

breasts. They're neat!


Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm

nibbling your ear.


Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and



Sweetheart: What?


Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.


Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of

my blouse.


Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with

a plop.


Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your

hard tool.


Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!


Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.


Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over,

in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.


Sweetheart: What's the matter?


Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.


Sweetheart: Are you OK?


Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.


Sweetheart: Can I help?


Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling

through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?


Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.


Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.


Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.


Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.


Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.


Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet.

And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost.

Where's the bedroom?


Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.


Wellhung: I found it.


Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.


Wellhung: Me too.


Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked

bodies pressing each other.


Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.


Sweetheart Why don't you take off your glasses?


Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the

glasses on the night table.


Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!


Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room

and toward the bathroom.


Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.


Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for

the toilet. I lift the lid.


Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.


Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle,

but I can't find it. Uh-oh!


Sweetheart: What's the matter now?


Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper.

Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my



Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.


Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss

your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.


Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand

it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!


Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

Sweetheart: What?


Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.


Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look

on my face.


Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all

floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.


Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my

underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.


Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table.

I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray,

picture frames and your candles.


Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.


Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of

our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing

at it, a shocked look on my face.


Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!


Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!


Sweetheart: <logged off>





If all the ladies bend over, I would be very happy.


Edouard | The Pearl of the Orient | Malaysia.