MegaLiz once wrote:
: I'm not feeling guilty - in fact I take
: great pleasure in the ways I've been able to mix "Bob" and "job". Why just
: yesterday I received the opportunity to write the headline: ARE YOU READY
: FOR 1998?
And yesterday, paying homage to my soon-to-be-unemployed future in my
small way, making his good eye bulge with FURY, I gave my favorite
reply to the annoying boss question. Only this time I MEANT IT...
Jabba the Boss: Whatcha doin?
MegaLiz: Just goofin off. WHY?
I don't think I saw anybody say that working in a Con job is
necessarily some sort of EVIL SELLOUT. The job can be entertaining if
not fulfilling. Mine has little to offer, but it does have its bizarre
There's some sort of outside chance that all my labors in the last
decade have contributed to preventing some schmuck from having to have
his head reattached, but who am I to say that said schmuck DESERVED
it? I acknowledge my corner of the Con and find it amusing on bad days
and HILARIOUS on good days.
I could feel deep and lingering remorse about the quantity of paper
words I have distributed, which had they been absorbed, would have
caused the reader a really bad headache and possibly would have
chiseled at his meager will to live. But I am reassured that few of
the intended readers ever blinked at, much less READ or OBEYED any of
that stuff. It DID NO HARM. I'm pretty sure. I am a bad person who
chuckles at dead trees and uses a paper shredder DAILY.
So this is the boost that I got from "Bob": instead of CARING about
STUPID SHIT and gerbiling around for MORE STUPID SHIT to do when the
"essential" STUPID SHIT was outta the way, I quit. I quit my job just
a little. I did what was expected, then what I wanted, and that's all.
I do not cringe as I approach the bank. Nono.
What happened when I quit? Nobody noticed. Nothing changed. Except me.
Instead of hosting an illusory pink pride in my work, 99% of which is
STUPID SHIT, I had the recognition of its enormous Slack potential. I
mined the 1% so as not to mind the other 99. It still SUCKS, but it
sucks very little Slack.
These days it even BLOWS SLACK, because I'm now sitting around the job
like a TIMEBOMB that everyone tries to pretend is just another normal
female. I am overripe for an explosive departure, and I have been ever
since the brave Rev threw himself on the Luck Plane, spinning out to
Genuine Employment Enjoyment. He can admire my job fortitude, but
fortitude before this sort of STUPID SHIT is just STUPIDER SHIT.
I'm enjoying most everything about the job now, watching the nastier
bits wind down is the LEAST uplifting aspect. I'll blast out soonly
now, with ever increasing certainty that the next "job" can be no
worse. Whatever it is, I will have quit a bit before I ever get
NOTE: Read this again children, read this again…