Sister Pammy of the Soil wrote:

I suspect there are some topics in our culture which almost every

boy/man must form opinions or make decisions about. Military service

and the general subject of violence come to mind. I believe most

girls/women are confronted enough with the notion of appearance being

crucial that they are forced to decide about its meaning and importance

in their lives.

If I were to do fashion, it would be earrings. I've seen some lovely

and well-crafted ones that appealed to me, using interesting metals and

stones. But I've never gotten my ears pierced, and my reason comes down

to this: I want to focus my desire on something more important than

trinkets.

I choose to make my desire be about a relationship with another: a

lover, a friend, a pet, or a plant in which I find change and beauty,

vigor and demise. I want to relate passionately to something other than

self. The desire for jewelry seems to be about me relating to my

appearance, which isn't an endlessly fascinating topic to me.

The subject of women and their appearance reeks so strongly of the CON

that if I'm having trouble deciding what to wear, and I sometimes do,

it's a clear sign of insecurity. Am I good enough? Not "Do I look good

enough?", but "Am I good enough?".

To doubt one's worth is a CON, plain and simple. Having given it some

thought, instead of worrying about what to wear, now I smile and say

"Ah, YOU again." Then I chop the demon to tiny little bits (thank you,

Nenslo!) and banish it for awhile.

Sis Pam--when it's gray out I get all thinkative

"...devils you have to go one-on-one with and beat and keep beating and

rip them apart so you have a short breather while the parts creep back

together because they CAN'T DIE, they can only be inconvenienced enough

that they will leave you alone for a while..." NENSLO