Subject: STUFF I LEARNED FROM TV
Date: Fri, 19 Sep 1997 19:48:15 -0500
From: Video Christ Danielson <email@example.com>
Organization: All USENET -- http://www.Supernews.com
CHOICES AND DECISIONS ARE BAD
flashing lights are GOOD
Bad hair will make you famous
Having a loud and annoying voice means Washington
If you say "I'm sorry" everyone will forgive you for everything
Saying "butt munch" is funny
Being white is wrong.
Nobody is ever allowed to say "fung" on television
Uh huh huh huh huh huh-huh huhuh huhuh huhuhuhuhuhh huh.
Everything is only fifteen minutes.
Always singing and singing. Sing all day.
There are such things as "celebrities"
It is wrong to commit crimes. It is right to wear a suit and beat people
Being arrested and being "cool" are the same thing.
Everything you like is "cool".
You like to be arrested and imprisoned.
Make a muscle. Grow a mustache.
If you are a girl, take off all of your clothes.
It is okay to do the same thing over and over for the rest of your life.
If you have black hair, you will be killed. You are the bad guy.
Men like to point at their weiner.
Being a geek is wrong. Beat up things.
I love dancing to a product.
Eating mentos and being James Bond are the same thing.
I am the only person in the world who owns a fax machine. It is the
larval form of a microscopic cellular phone.
It is the same. Repeat after me. R is for "rong".
Uh, I forget.
You can't put the TV on slow.
It's all a blur.
Dunt da dunt da dah.
Ozzy kicks ass in vegas.
Video Christ Danielson, Dragonlord of the Angry Tweeners
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