|About six months ago I received the enclosed post in
|letter form. I ignored it. I received about five more of
|the same letter within the next two weeks. I ignored them
|also. Of course, I was tempted to follow through and
|dreamed of making thousands of inches, but I was convinced it was just
|another gimmick and could not possibly work. I was wrong!
|About three weeks later I saw this same letter posted on a
|local bulletin board in Sydney. I liked the idea of
|giving it a try with my computer. I didn't expect much
|because I figured, if other people were as sceptical as I,
|they wouldn't be too quick to part with their penis. But,
|I buy lottery tickets weekly in my province and have nothing
|to show for it but ticket stubs. This week I decided to
|look at this as my weekly lottery purchase. I addressed the
|envelopes and mailed out one piece of my penis in each as directed.
|Two weeks went by and I didn't receive anything in the mail.
|The fourth week rolled around and I couldn't believe what
|happened! I can't say I received 50,000 inches, but it was
|definitely well over 35,000! For the first time in all my
|years, I was adequately endowed. It was great. Of course, it
|didn't take me long to feel inadequate again so I am using
|this excellent penis enlargement opportunity once again. Follow the
|instructions and get ready to enjoy.
| Please send a copy of this letter along with the
|enclosed letter so together we can convince people who are
|sceptical that it really works!
| Good Luck,
| (Your name)
|Follow these instructions EXACTLY, and in 20 to 60 days you
|will have received well over 50,000 inches of penis, all yours.
|This program has remained successful because of the inadequacy
|and vanity of the participants. Please continue its
|success by carefully adhering to the instructions.
|Welcome to the world of Mail Order Penis Enlargement! This little business
|is a little different than most cosmetic surgery. Your product
|is not solid (sic) and tangible, but rather a service. You are in
|the business of extending penii. Many small of
|endowment are happy to pay big bucks for this service.
| (The money made from the penis enlargement is secondary to the
| income which is made from people like yourself requesting
| that they be included in that list.)
| 1) Immediately cut off your penis at the base.
| 2) Cut off the head of your penis, and pack it in ice.
| 3) Take the remaining mid-section of your penis, and cut it
| into 5 pieces of equal length.
| 4) Immediately mail each piece to the first 5 names listed
| below starting at number 1 through number 5. Send penis only
| please (total investment your penis). Enclose a note with each
| piece stating: "Please add my name to your mailing list."
| (This is a legitimate service that you
| are requesting and you are paying your penis
| for this service).
| 2) Remove the name that appears number 1 on the list.
| Move the other 9 names up one position. (Number 2 will
| become number 1 and number 3 will become number 2, etc.)
| Place your name, address and zip code in the number 10
| 3) Post the new letter with your name in the number 10
| position into 10 (Ten) separate bulletin boards in the
| message base or to the file section, call the file,
| 4) Within 60 days you will receive over 50,000 inches of
| PENIS. Keep a copy of this file for yourself so that you can
| use it again and again whenever you need penis enlargement.
| As soon as you mail out these letters you are automatically
| in the mail order business and people are sending you their penis
| to be placed on your mailing list. This list can then be rented to
| a reconstructive cosmetic surgeon that can be found in the Yellow
| Pages for additional income on a regular basis. The list will become
| more valuable as it grows in size. This is a service. This is
| perfectly legal. If you have any doubts, refer to Title 18,
| Sec. 1302 & 1341 of the postal lottery laws.
| NOTE: Make sure you retain EVERY Name and Address sent
| to you, either on computer or hard copy, but do not
| discard the names and notes they send you. This is
| PROOF that you are truly providing a service and
| should the AMA, FDA, or some other Government Agency
| question you, you can provide them with this proof!
| Remember as each post is downloaded and the instructions
| carefully followed, five members will be reimbursed for
| their participation as a Penis Enlarger with one inch of penis
| each. Your name will move up the list geometrically so that
| when your name reaches the number five position you will be
| receiving thousands of inches in penis.
| 1. Daniel J. Karnes 6394-B Tawney Bloom
| Mogi Donuts, MD
| 2. Emil T. Chuck 6394-A Tawney Bloom
| Mogi Donuts, MD
| 3. Charles Whealton 7690 Karnesville Road
| Phobic, MI
| 4. William Davenant 8295 Hiding Closet Rd
| Clarkston, MI
| 5. Peter Ruckman 14805 Rivercrest
| Sterling Hts., MI
| 6. Steven Crisp 3718 Kings Point
| Troy, MI
| 7. Mark Gengler 5748 Patterson
| Troy, MI
| 8. Pat Robertson 666 God's Little Homophobe Road
| Anti-Christ Hills, VA
| 9. Fred Phelps 14-U Our Saviour of the Closet Lane
| Orchard Lake, MI
| 10. Jesse Helms 20840 Tobacco Mercenary Street
| Lung Cancer Hacks., VA
|"Michael Wilson" <firstname.lastname@example.org> wrote all this in rec.humor....
| Rev. Random the Other
| Gription Clench
On-line Mini-Steer-ial Services