On Tue, 05 Nov 1996 18:51:16 GMT, modemac@tiac.net (Modemac) wrote:

>Get out there and VOTE! It's the best entertainment you can get on Election

>Day, and it's FREE!

>

>--

I just spent FIVE HOURS standing outside the polls, being one of Those

People who hand out flyers & tell voters to vote their way. Why? Two

words:

Yogic Flying.

I got me a newspaper with a picture of Victor Pardo, yogic flyer for

U S Senate (Natural Law Party), wrote Yogi Flyer, Fer Sure!, Really!

They Fly! and alot of arrows pointing to the picture of the guy's high

speed picture showing him LEVITATE.

I got put up a sign "They're ALL Assholes" among the gaggle of others.

Then I went to work. YOGIC FLYERS!! YOGIC FLYERS!! Just like in

California! REALLY! The four others (Democrats) handing out stuff

were quiet & polite. Not me. Vote Natural Law, You'll Never Have to

Work Again.

 

I explained to many people that the Natural Law Party will nationalize

ALL the Corporations, Sell 'em, then GIVE the Money to The People. No

one will EVER have to work again! I promised free pizza.

 

I got gobbs of Slack by appealing to those voters coming OUT of the

polls. Vote Yogic Flyer - Natural Law. Four people facing the

parking lot, and me facing the Other Way.

 

I told several Mothers that their Children would be Nationalized, but

we ALL had to sacrifice. I told many that the ONLY CURE for all Crime

in the country was to get 7000 Y.F.'s on PAYROLL, Flying 8 hours a day

7 days a week in one big room (that just happens to be their platform,

and I suppose there just happens to be 7000 of them). Then I ACCUSED

them of being MURDERS, PEDOPHILES, and CRIMINALS if they didn't VOTE

Natural Law and DO Something to STOP the CRIME.

 

Ya gotta understand, this is rural North Carolina.

 

After a time, I was the ONLY one stumping there. When no new voters

were around, I talked to the democrats: SO, I guess YOU don't work

for a living EITHER...they all eventually wandered off..I started at

8am. When I went back for round two at 5pm, my SIGN was still up.

 

So, anyhow, what about the SubGenius Presidential elections? We gonna

have some RESULTS posted here, or WHAT? At 1 dollar per vote, I guess

Jesus has some compiling to do...but HEY - I want to see if * 2qwk!

wins. And ME, of course.

Rev. Random the Other

or should I say PRESIDENT Random?