On Tue, 05 Nov 1996 18:51:16 GMT, email@example.com (Modemac) wrote:
>Get out there and VOTE! It's the best entertainment you can get on Election
>Day, and it's FREE!
I just spent FIVE HOURS standing outside the polls, being one of Those
People who hand out flyers & tell voters to vote their way. Why? Two
I got me a newspaper with a picture of Victor Pardo, yogic flyer for
U S Senate (Natural Law Party), wrote Yogi Flyer, Fer Sure!, Really!
They Fly! and alot of arrows pointing to the picture of the guy's high
speed picture showing him LEVITATE.
I got put up a sign "They're ALL Assholes" among the gaggle of others.
Then I went to work. YOGIC FLYERS!! YOGIC FLYERS!! Just like in
California! REALLY! The four others (Democrats) handing out stuff
were quiet & polite. Not me. Vote Natural Law, You'll Never Have to
I explained to many people that the Natural Law Party will nationalize
ALL the Corporations, Sell 'em, then GIVE the Money to The People. No
one will EVER have to work again! I promised free pizza.
I got gobbs of Slack by appealing to those voters coming OUT of the
polls. Vote Yogic Flyer - Natural Law. Four people facing the
parking lot, and me facing the Other Way.
I told several Mothers that their Children would be Nationalized, but
we ALL had to sacrifice. I told many that the ONLY CURE for all Crime
in the country was to get 7000 Y.F.'s on PAYROLL, Flying 8 hours a day
7 days a week in one big room (that just happens to be their platform,
and I suppose there just happens to be 7000 of them). Then I ACCUSED
them of being MURDERS, PEDOPHILES, and CRIMINALS if they didn't VOTE
Natural Law and DO Something to STOP the CRIME.
Ya gotta understand, this is rural North Carolina.
After a time, I was the ONLY one stumping there. When no new voters
were around, I talked to the democrats: SO, I guess YOU don't work
for a living EITHER...they all eventually wandered off..I started at
8am. When I went back for round two at 5pm, my SIGN was still up.
So, anyhow, what about the SubGenius Presidential elections? We gonna
have some RESULTS posted here, or WHAT? At 1 dollar per vote, I guess
Jesus has some compiling to do...but HEY - I want to see if * 2qwk!
wins. And ME, of course.
Rev. Random the Other
or should I say PRESIDENT Random?