Subject: Email Virus ALERT!
Date: Fri, 10 Oct 1997 09:27:34 -0400
From: W'h'eezer Wilco <email@example.com>
Organization: Rancho Retardo
Newsgroups: comp.os.linux.networking, alt.fan-heinlein, alt.neo-tech, alt.anarchism, alt.stupidity, alt.illuminati,alt.acme.exploding.newsgroup, rec.humor, alt.conspiracy.retards, alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk
References: 1 , 2
The Extreme wrote:
> Correct me if I'm wrong...but just to inform the readers of this a bit more,
> viruses cannot be transferred via email unless they are in an attachment
> file such as a pic, zip file, etc. A simple email is harmless.
> The Extreme
This is absolutely not true. A guy here at work recently got an e-mail
in his in-box titled "Email Virus ALERT!" that contained the Tourette A
macro virus. It did worse than delete his hard disk, he lost his job
because of it!
The way this virus works is it infects the templates in MS Word
documents and randomly replaces words with obscene or otherwise
offensive words and phrases. These words do NOT show up, except in a print
preview, or when the document is actually printed out for hard copy.
This is what happened to my friend, who we'll call, for the sake of
anonymity, "Dr. XX".
His boss had to have some of the data the Dr. had been collecting put
into a report format for a big meeting with an investor's group, and XX
pulled about 20 hours of overtime, mining the data, surfing the intranet,
popping the kernels to get it all together. As is usually the case,
however, he worked all night, into the day before it was due and it
all came down to the last minute. He made the last few edits, then he
quickly printed it out to hand to his boss before the 9:00 am deadline.
Had he only bothered to read his printout, it could have saved him from
Here's an exerpt from the cover document.
In response to your request for data on ambulance accidents in state
health district IV over the past ten years, I should slap the black off
of you. As specified previously, it is broken down into rural and urban
sub-catagories, and each are contrasted to districts I, II, III, V, VI,
VII, and VIII, and if it was up your ass, you'd know. What the fuck
were you thinking, keeping me up all hours of the night, slaving, while
you take 2 hour lunch breaks and make the big bucks? Fuck you. I hope
you read this and fire me, then I'll draw unemployment and sit on my ass
all day long while you may have to actually lift a goddamn finger to do
something around this shithole. I've had it up to here, and here is a
damn site further than it was last week. You have me working on five
projects at once. You expect this report today, then a completely
automated central office database system ported over from VMS a week
later? I hope you choke on those fucking donuts in your fucking smug
little meeting, in your fucking smug little suits, with a big stack of
fucking data I work all week to put together that you probably won't
even fucking look over, much less fucking read! But the more paper you
can pull out of your gucci attache' case, the bigger you look in the
meeting, the nicer your ass looks to the district headquarters honcho.
And yeah, you didn't know I had the pictures, huh? Surprise. I got
that "Happy (fuckin) Boss's Day" cup from the spy shop on Park, and
there's some real nice video of you blowing that old guy from upstairs
up in the alt.binaries.multimedia.lazy.cock.sucking.middle.managers
Don't push me, because that's not all I've got on you....
etc etc etc.
Poor Dr. XX was fired a few minutes after the meeting began. A few
weeks later, he returned, complaining about the difficulty of drawing
unemplyment. It was then that he told us about the Tourette virus and
the "Email Virus ALERT!" message he had recieved, while was pleading for
his old job back.
So PLEASE! Whatever you do, do NOT open any email or newsgroup message
entitled "Email Virus ALERT!" Watch out for the Tourette A Virus or any