Subject: Re: The Importance Of Marketing

Date: Fri, 10 Oct 1997 08:41:20 +1000

From: John Cook <>

Organization: Fast Access Network

Newsgroups: alt.slack

References: 1


Doktor D wrote:

> if

> this Church is ever going to become a financial reality on the scale

> of Scientology we should take all the tips we can from them. Plus,

> it's fucking hilarious.


Dear friend:

I am writing to you because I sense that you are in need of

something, something that I help you get. But before you make up your

mind about this, let me tell you some of the exciting news.

My friends and I have been very busy here in Gorman, California.

Ever since Mr. Mike Palatkin began spreading the word of El Físico

Nuclear, dozens have enjoyed the peace and tranquility that comes from

knowing that El Físico is watching over your dreams, sending his psychic

energy forth to help them come true! For we all know that El Físico

watches over his Chosen, and not even a dust mote falls without that

he know of it. Truly, those who choose to join his flock and are chosen

in turn are among the blessed of the cosmos!


That is why we have chosen you, friend, to join the Nucleares.

As a member of this exclusive group, you will be keyed into the

extensive MindWebTM of El Físico Nuclear himself! He will be able to

know your deepest thoughts and wishes at any moment, and will try to

make them come true. There are no risks, no gambles here--when

El Físico wills that your wish come true, it will! We all know that

El Físico has a power beyond explanation, a power that cannot be hindered

by the realities of time-space and the cynicism of modern science.

For he practices a science so advanced that it has gone back to the

very roots of knowledge, when a seeker after Truth needed nothing more

than a mind open to exploration and new experiences, besides a magnetic

compass, dice, and sundial or mirror. Thus did the will-to-knowledge

become the will-to-power! These are the principles that are upheld by

El Físico Nuclear even today, and his SuperScienceTM is as valid now

as it was aeons ago.


But we know that he is not merely a scientist. We know that he

cares for the human species as no other can, and that is why I am

writing to you, friend, to ask you to join us. We can help you, and

perhaps you can even help us a little. We all know that the world is in

distress, that the icecaps are either melting or shifting at a rapid

pace, that invisible deadly rays are piercing the ozone layer, that

alien abduction is up 300%!! that teens are listening to rock which

glorifies not groovy Nuclear love but death and yomping, that all the

promises of the 19th century--capitalism, Marxism, psychoanalysis and

scientific rationalism--have fallen flat on their faces and can't get

out of the mud. Indeed, there they stay, throwing mudballs at one

another, rather than getting out, cleaning themselves off, and setting

out to complete the task at hand together.


This is what El Físico Nuclear can do for you, and the great

thing is, that while he helps you, you help him and the rest of the

world as well! for we all know that El Físico Nuclear is currently

trapped beneath the ice at the North Pole, and though he can wish you

fortune, health, fame, love, and felicity, he cannot wish himself out

of his perilous condition without your help! We are in daily contact with

him, and send on the wishes of the Nucleares. He can make them come true!

but he needs your help, too. The expedition to the North Pole to dig him

out of his watery prison cannot happen without your contribution! Anything

you can contribute would be of the greatest service not only to El

Físico, but to bring about another Golden Age where men and women enjoy each

other indiscriminately, where time reverses itself and we all live in

Paradise! where the temperature everywhere is a comfortable 72 and the

nights are warm and balmy and full of animal and vegetable passions.


All of this awaits those who join us now! Our ice-breaker is literally

waiting for nothing more than fuel to get underway on its trip to the

top of the world! Never has this matter been so urgent as it is now.

And it's not like you won't be helping yourself. Join us now, and become

part of the solution, not a mass of inert matter waiting to be scooped

up into the dross heap come the End Times!


Violeta Penn-Morgenstern

Yes! I want to be a part of the coming Apocalypse! I can contribute:

___$1000 Purple Chamber Keyholder

___$500 Order of the Incarnated Muon

___$250 Seeker of the Maroon Shower

___$125 El Físico's Heartlight

___$62.50 Ice-Breaker's Club

___$31.25 Boot-Lacer

___$15.68 Squared Circular


Please send your credit card unmber and expiration date to: John

Whiteside Parson, S.A. de Cv.,, to help the universe be restored to its natural balance, and to make all your wildest dreams come true! Let El Fisico help you help yourself by

helping him!

P.S. As I write this, I just read that as of today, murders are up 2.5%

since February, and that there has been an increase in the mean sea

level in San Francisco Bay. So join now and you get, at no additional

cost, an El Físico Nuclear Signal Badge, just like the one featured in

the June/July 1995 issue of The Físico Nuclear Experience. Don't

delay--join NOW! The fate of the world may well hang in the balance!

John Whiteside Parsons



John, Tui, Jesse & Rhea Cook

A is A - Aristotle

Reality is Hard & Beautiful - Me