Subject: Church of the New Order Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1998 23:00:02 -0400

From: "Rev. Edward Strange" <strange@enter.net>

Organization: Enter.Net

CC: drlegume@bellatlantic.net

Newsgroups: alt.slack

The reason I joined this church in the first place was because I thought

the world as a whole needed to lighten up. Now I'm sorry to say that is

the church to lighten up. The evil cloak of political correctness has

shaded your eyes from the light of truth. Gone are the days when SubGenius

brother defended SubGenius brother from the tyranical hand of the

Conspiracy. The modern SubGenius seems more concerned about protecting

thier self esteem from the criticism of stark realists than they are about

the GUN THAT IS BEING HELD TO THEIR HEAD, EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!! I

have seen more of you jump to defend the tender feelings of some poor self

diluted sucker than I have lift even one finger to do the job this church

was custom built accomplish..

TEAR DOWN THE WALLS !!! ALL THE FUCKING WALLS !!!

Saucers....you wanted saucers? Haaaa.....everyone with a tear in

their eye at 7:01 would have shit themselves and run the other way had they

shown up. What most SubGenii don't understand is that it was never about

aliens their imaginary saucers or the goddammed plastic head that is J.R.

"Bob" Dobbs. Thats right, a sham, a plywood storefront, superficial

eyecandy that protected an infant church from being taken seriously and

thusly crushed.

Well children, it's time to leave the nest. Fly away and be free

or cash into the cold pavement head first, the choice is yours. There

comes a time when you realize that all the bible stories, fables, and story

tales you were told all your life were nothing more than candy coating for

the bitter pills of life's lessons. To prepare you. Every religious

denomination and walk of life has their own pills as a means to their own

ends. None of the medicine ever works if you can't digest as shit out that

ever so sweet candy coating.

And you do know where to find the best pills, don't you? WELL

DON'T YOU!?! Apparently not, judging from the way you react when you think

you've been presented with critisism. You circle defensivly trying to

gather your strength. You bahh and whinny hoping your feeble words carry

some power, ever protective of the young and weak in the group. EXACTLY

LIKE HEARD ANIMALS CONFRONTED BY A PREDITOR!! LIKE SHEEP, LIKE POOR DUMB

SHEEP!!

You can be healed children. But you have to stop using the Church

of the SubGenius as a fallout shelter. You need to use the church to build

a suit of armor woven of Slack and thick skin. Stop being the prey item

and become the predator. That's what the pills are supposed to do, but you

need to get past "Bob". Shit him out like yesterdays watermellon seeds and

learn the beautiful leason that has shown you but you refuse to look at.

If you don't get it, you'll never have it.