Subject: Church of the New Order Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1998 23:00:02 -0400
From: "Rev. Edward Strange" <email@example.com>
The reason I joined this church in the first place was because I thought
the world as a whole needed to lighten up. Now I'm sorry to say that is
the church to lighten up. The evil cloak of political correctness has
shaded your eyes from the light of truth. Gone are the days when SubGenius
brother defended SubGenius brother from the tyranical hand of the
Conspiracy. The modern SubGenius seems more concerned about protecting
thier self esteem from the criticism of stark realists than they are about
the GUN THAT IS BEING HELD TO THEIR HEAD, EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!! I
have seen more of you jump to defend the tender feelings of some poor self
diluted sucker than I have lift even one finger to do the job this church
was custom built accomplish..
TEAR DOWN THE WALLS !!! ALL THE FUCKING WALLS !!!
Saucers....you wanted saucers? Haaaa.....everyone with a tear in
their eye at 7:01 would have shit themselves and run the other way had they
shown up. What most SubGenii don't understand is that it was never about
aliens their imaginary saucers or the goddammed plastic head that is J.R.
"Bob" Dobbs. Thats right, a sham, a plywood storefront, superficial
eyecandy that protected an infant church from being taken seriously and
Well children, it's time to leave the nest. Fly away and be free
or cash into the cold pavement head first, the choice is yours. There
comes a time when you realize that all the bible stories, fables, and story
tales you were told all your life were nothing more than candy coating for
the bitter pills of life's lessons. To prepare you. Every religious
denomination and walk of life has their own pills as a means to their own
ends. None of the medicine ever works if you can't digest as shit out that
ever so sweet candy coating.
And you do know where to find the best pills, don't you? WELL
DON'T YOU!?! Apparently not, judging from the way you react when you think
you've been presented with critisism. You circle defensivly trying to
gather your strength. You bahh and whinny hoping your feeble words carry
some power, ever protective of the young and weak in the group. EXACTLY
LIKE HEARD ANIMALS CONFRONTED BY A PREDITOR!! LIKE SHEEP, LIKE POOR DUMB
You can be healed children. But you have to stop using the Church
of the SubGenius as a fallout shelter. You need to use the church to build
a suit of armor woven of Slack and thick skin. Stop being the prey item
and become the predator. That's what the pills are supposed to do, but you
need to get past "Bob". Shit him out like yesterdays watermellon seeds and
learn the beautiful leason that has shown you but you refuse to look at.
If you don't get it, you'll never have it.