Was Bob Dobbs Real?

 

From: hotmolly1@aol.com (HotMolly1)

Date: 16 Apr 1995

 

Was Bob Dobbs Real? I mean, was he a real person ever? or is he made up?

 

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Subject: Re: Was Bob Dobbs Real?

From: dynasor@infi.net (Dennis McClain-Furmanski)

 

Nobody knows. He told me so himself.

Honest, I swear it.

 

--

dynasor@infi.net The Doctor is on.

 

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Subject: Re: Was Bob Dobbs Real?

From: ghsst6+@pitt.edu (Geoffrey H Spear)

 

hotmolly1@aol.com (HotMolly1) wrote:

>Was Bob Dobbs Real? I mean, was he a real person ever? or is he made up?

 

"Bob" doesn't wear makeup. except when he wants to.

 

--

Geoff Spear |"And whenever rn sees your .signature

ghsst6+@pitt.edu | it'll rmgroup alt.slack as well! Yay!"

http://www.pitt.edu/~ghsst6/ | - Kibo

 

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Subject: Re: Was Bob Dobbs Real?

From: zip@zap.yip

 

These imbeciles don't know if he was real or not.

 

Answer- he's a fake.

 

Gives these fools something to waste their time on,

 

unlike important people like me who spend their fukin time wisely.

 

Thanks for fukin asking.

 

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Subject: Re: Was Bob Dobbs Real?

From: clavis@ix.netcom.com (John P. Olinyk)

 

allosaur@MCS.COM (Samuel Crider) writes:

 

>HotMolly1 (hotmolly1@aol.com) wrote:

>: Was Bob Dobbs Real? I mean, was he a real person ever? or is he made

up?

>

>"As real as *I*! BA-HA-HA-HA-HA!..."

 

You may be more right than you think. I am a person. Maybe. Personally,

I believe that more people have heard of "Bob" Dobbs than have heard of

me. Have more people "met" "Bob" than me? Have any of YOU actually MET

me, face-to-face? Have you? Or am I a clever "Nicolas Bourbaki"-type

amalgam of some clever writers, or an AI trying to pass the ultimate

Turing Test? Eh? Am I? Huh? What?

 

You've never met me. You've probably never met "Bob". One's a little

larger than life. I'm not quite up to that point.... YET.

 

the Grand Clavister

(who would appreciate anything sent to:

O.L.I.N.Y.K., P.O. BOX 2559, GRAND CENTRAL STATION, NEW YORK,

NY, 10163-2559. Keys, $1 bills and SASE's will net you mondo

oddities. I promise... Urgh. Remember--- when "brain-fag"

strikes, strike back with MAD!)

 

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Subject: Re: Was Bob Dobbs Real?

From: gilmore@en.com (Gilmore)

 

HotMolly1 (hotmolly1@aol.com) wrote:

: Was Bob Dobbs Real? I mean, was he a real person ever? or is he made up?

 

Were you a real person? Ever?

 

I'm serious.

 

--

\\\ _ / Gilmore Web Designer

\\\ // i r t u a l gilmore@vv.com "The world won't stand still..."

\\// / http://www.en.com/users/gilmore/gilmore.html

\/ \/ i S i o N s --------------- http://www.vv.com ----------------

 

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Subject: Re: Was Bob Dobbs Real?

From: paular@Eng.Sun.COM (Paul Arthur)

 

HotMolly1 (hotmolly1@aol.com) wrote:

: Was Bob Dobbs Real? I mean, was he a real person ever? or is he made up?

 

Look everybody! "Bob" is posting from an aol account to test us. Didn't fool

me for an instant. That "Bob", what a kidder.

 

#include <standard_disclaimer.h>

 

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Subject: Re: Was Bob Dobbs Real?

From: Biggles <biggles1@delphi.com>

 

Yes, "Bob" was real, but the key word is 'was'. For he is now dead, nothing

but worm food. Except for some of the more choice cuts we kept for ourselves.

 

Mmmmm-good!

 

-- Pope-King Biggles I

 

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Subject: Re: Was Bob Dobbs Real?

From: MONTYKINS@news.delphi.com (MONTYKINS@DELPHI.COM)

 

He was dead at the time Biggles wrote this, but he has Re-risen again!

 

No, wait, he's dead again.

 

If this keeps up, we may have to rename him Schroedinger's "Bob".

 

-Monty

 

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Subject: Re: Was Bob Dobbs Real?

From: pkitty@netcom.com (Purple Kitty)

 

HotMolly1 (hotmolly1@aol.com) wrote:

: Was Bob Dobbs Real? I mean, was he a real person ever? or is he made up?

 

Is "Bob" REAL? Molly, "Bob" is, quite frankly, more real than YOU, ME, or

ANY OF US posting on this newsgroup. "Bob" is beyond being defined by

reality; "Bob" DEFINES reality constantly, without even knowing that he's

doing it! (I said he was real--I didn't say he was smart.) The multiverse

itself constantly reshapes itself to suit "Bob"'s needs, whatever they

may happen to be at the moment! If your existence suddenly becomes

detrimental to "Bob"'s continued happiness, YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED

through some FREAK ACCIDENT. Think about that. Your connection to this

plane, as well as ALL OF OUR connections, are as tenuous as the life of a

brain cell in an alcoholic's grey matter; the only constant is "Bob". I'd

say that makes him PRETTY DAMN REAL.

 

Scientologist Reverend (do they HAVE Reverends?) Pee Kitty

 

--

 

Meow!

 

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Subject: Re: Was Bob Dobbs Real?

From: magicrat@max.tiac.net (Gwendoly Piper)

Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.pagan,alt.magick

 

"Bob" is

"Bob" becomes

"Bob" is not.

 

What shall it profit a man if he should gain the world and lock his keys

in the car before he can get it home?

 

Magic Rat.Too.DooBeeously.Furreal.to.be.Fightened.of

 

--

 

----Don't ask me, Midgarder, I just work here.---

 

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Subject: Re: Was Bob Dobbs Real?

From: digby <ronl@cyber1.servtech.com>

 

I too thought "BOB" was nothing but a figment of current post (insert

your disaster here) Then one day I saw him driving a red '66 fairlane

convertable through downtown lubbock, TX. I took "BOB" into my heart

that day, and whatdaya know he popped right back out through my

sphincter (very near to my wallet).

 

Digby Light

 

soon available for weddings and funeral services as neccessary

 

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Subject: Re: Was Bob Dobbs Real?

From: bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar)

 

hotmolly1@aol.com (HotMolly1) wrote:

 

>Was Bob Dobbs Real? I mean, was he a real person ever? or is he made up?

 

Yes.

--

Reverend Mutha Tarla, Little Sisters of the Perpetually Juicy,

A Proud Jism Schism of the Church of the SubGenius, Worshipping

"Connie" Dobbs and Juicy Retardo since 1986

http://www.ionet.net/~bmyers/homepage.html

 

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Subject: Re: Was Bob Dobbs Real?

From: jbhicks@mail.inlink.com (J. Brad Hicks)

 

bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar) wrote:

 

> hotmolly1@aol.com (HotMolly1) wrote:

>

> >Was Bob Dobbs Real? I mean, was he a real person ever? or is he made up?

>

> Yes.

 

Tarla lies. Bob Dobbs was neither Real, nor a real person ever, nor made up.

 

Most of you isn't you, either. It's stuff that you chose to glue onto

yourself, so it's kind of a little like you, but mostly you didn't have a

lot of choice since 99.9999% (the famed "six nines standard") of the

things you were offered (clothing styles, religions, jobs, careers, sexual

orientations, gender roles, political parties, speech patterns, perceptual

habits, favorite television shows, etc.) were Conspiracy Approved and

guaranteed not to exceed the EPA (Everybody Programming Authority)

standards for weirdness.

 

You could go up onto a mountain top, fast until your system was clean and

your mind vulnerable, eat of a certain herb which it is not lawful to name

to the uninitiate, and erase some of your attachment to Not-You stuff that

You glued onto you. But what's the point? You'd come down off of the

mountain, eat something, and go back to watching Conspiracy TV and just

glue more Normal Crap onto yourself. In short, you'd "lose your ego" only

to get stuck with another one, pretty much just like it.

 

So if you do, take a copy of the _Book of the SubGenius_ up there to read

before you come back down. It won't stop you from building up layers of

crufty tartar-like Normality on top of your worthwhile and valuable

psyche, your True Will, your Inner Self ... but it will help you maintain

some cynicism about it, and if you're VERY lucky, it might keep you from

mistaking your Personality or your Lifestyle for your Self.

 

_Liber Al_ works for some people. _Principia Discordia_ works for others.

Timothy Leary's translation of the _Tibetan Book of the Dead_ works for

yet others. Mother is the best bet, and don't let Satan draw you too

quickly.

 

--

J. Brad Hicks jbhicks@mail.inlink.com

 

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Subject: Re: Was Bob Dobbs Real?

From: besnode@netcom.com (Paul and Michele)

Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.pagan,alt.magick

 

Bob is better than real. Bob is Sir Real.

 

--Paul

--

Paul Suliin and Michele Cox | Experience has shown that men

POB 1993 | and nations will often act

San Gabriel, CA 91778 | wisely, once they have exhausted

310/719-9097 | all available alternatives.

 

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Subject: Re: Was Bob Dobbs Real?

From: iceknife@ashram.com (ICEKNIFE)

 

M@> >Was Bob Dobbs Real? I mean, was he a real person ever? or is he made up?

 

T@> Yes.

 

J@> Tarla lies. Bob Dobbs was neither Real, nor a real person ever, nor

J@> made up.

 

J@> Most of you isn't you, either. It's stuff that you chose to glue onto

J@> yourself, so it's kind of a little like you, but mostly you didn't

J@> have a lot of choice since 99.9999% (the famed "six nines standard")

J@> of the things you were offered

 

1.clothing styles WHEW...i have no style...i'm safe

2.religions I didn't know the Church was con-certified!

3.jobs this IS my job... I'm here to HELP YOU!

4.careers a job you do more than once, right?

5.sexual orientations I like to watch people fuck... the CON...

6.gender roles ITHYPALLIC AND GODLIKE

7.political parties never touch the stuff... gives me gas

8.speech patterns liquid nitrogen breaks any lock

9.perceptual habits so pass the frop already, fizzball!

10. favorite television shows THIS is my favorite TV SHOW!

 

J@> were Conspiracy Approved and guaranteed not to exceed the EPA

J@> (Everybody Programming Authority) standards for weirdness.

 

oh, ok. I was worried for a minute there... I thought this was a survey!!!

 

J@> _Liber Al_ works for some people.

 

only if your true self is a fukhed

 

J@>_Principia Discordia_ works for others

 

goons and flakes and weirdos for days... nice folks, generally!

 

J@> Timothy Leary's translation of the _Tibetan Book of the Dead works for

J@> yet others.

 

HA! NAME ONE!

 

---

 

YOU FORGOT: READ B FOR BORED, T FOR TERRIFIED, AND O FOR OPPRESSED

 

LIZARD MUSIC T

THE TAO TE CHING B,O

A MIDSUMMERNIGHT'S DREAM O

THE POPUL VAU T,O

PINNOCHIO O

THE CHURCH REPORT B

THE MAHABARATA B,T

 

---

 

YET ANOTHER goddamn public service announcement...

 

ICEKNIFE

 

... PASSPORTS TO THE HOLLOW EARTH:SASE & $1 to P.O.BOX 140306 DALLAS TX 75214

 

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Subject: Re: Was Bob Dobbs Real?

From: iceknife@ashram.com (ICEKNIFE)

 

B@> HotMolly1 <hotmolly1@aol.com> writes:

 

hotmolly. neeto. killfuck me.

 

M@>Was Bob Dobbs Real? I mean, was he a real person ever? or is he made up?

 

ok... wuddever...

 

B@> Yes, "Bob" was real, but the key word is 'was'. For he is now dead,

B@> nothing but worm food. Except for some of the more choice cuts we kept

B@> for ourselves. Mmmmm-good!

 

BAH - DUMFUX!!! YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN THE TALISMAN GIVEN TO ME AS A SIGN AND A WARNING,

FOR YET DO I BEAR THE UNHOLY WEIGHT OF THE TOKYO BLOWJOBFISH BOB POD AMULET; A

SINGLE BREATH OF FROP AND A SINGLE DROP OF MY FROZEN JISM AND DOBBS THAT WAS IS YET

AGAIN, REGARDLESS OF HOW MANY WALK THE EARTH; WHEN

CALLED FORTH FROM THE AMULET DOBBS IS RARELY PLEASED; THIS IS WHY WE HAVE NEVER

BEEN FRIENDS. I CAN'T BELIEVE I'D WASTE A DROP OF MY AWSOME SPOOGE-SHARDS ON THAT

SALESMAGGOT. HE PRODUCES NOTHING, SHIT EVEN I PROVIDE THE VALUABLE SERVOICE OF

DESTRUCTION... DOBBS JUST SELLS, THE INSTIGATIN' BUT UNPERPETRATIN' UGLY STEPCHILDE OF

AN ITINERANT QWIM-CHI RANCHER!

 

besides, I hear sternodox can crap a whole BoB in under 45 minutes...

never seen it, don't want to, but that's what I HEAR

 

ICEKNIFE

 

... SAVE YOUR CHILDREN : SASE & $1 to P.O.BOX 140306 DALLAS TX 75214

 

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Subject: Re: Was Bob Dobbs Real?

From: kodogr@flood.xnet.com (Jason Damisch)

 

The "Bob" That can be described is not the true "Bob".

 

"Bob" Dobbs never walked the earth, but for that matter, neither did

Jesus of Nazarath. "Bob", however, is a spirit being. Jesus is a spirit

being.

 

No, that can't be right. Both "Bob" and Jesus are your perception of the

spirit world. "Bob" is a 'face, an interface between you and the

spirit world. Thus, "Bob" can be anything trying to contact you. If that

being happens to eat your face, then we would call that entity the

Anti-"Bob". Perhaps that is why "Bob" is enclosed in quotes.

 

No, that can't be right either. Damn, just ignore this message.

 

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Subject: Re: Was Bob Dobbs Real?

From: hobbs_a@kosmos.wcc.govt.nz

Newsgroups: alt.pagan,alt.slack

 

"You may ask me any question you like, Dean" said Ivan Stang, pacing the

floor of the cell in the Ministry of Slack..

 

"Does "Bob" Dobbs exist?" asked Bob Dean, strapped to the torture table.

 

"Of course he does. The Church of the SubGenius exists. "Bob" Dobbs is the

High Epopt of the Church of the SubGenius. Therefore, "Bob" Dobbs exists."

 

"Does he exist in the same way I exist?"

 

"You do not exist".

 

- from _1998_, George Orwell's suppressed last novel.

--

Anthony "Slug Of Doom" Hobbs Wellington, NZ

hobbs_a@ix.wcc.govt.nz

 

Don't think it over. Always takes you over. Sends your spirit dancing.