Subject: Re: Fuck you too, Legume
Date: Sat, 21 Mar 1998 12:35:04 -0800
From: "Dr.Legume" <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Organization: The Hellfire Club
Nolan Voyde wrote:
> Dr. Legume,
> Your latest posting about me has only served to confirm what I said
> about you. You are a hardcore troller and headgamer and are therefore
> not to be trusted. It is upon your own head that the mindgames you
> play inevitably result in a loss of personal credibility. Live with
I am a high-ranking member of a Texas UFO Death Cult that launches
golfer heads and worships a piece of Yellow Pages clipart. My "personal
credibility" blew its' wad YEARS ago.
<snip> <a bunch of whining "Stang betrayed me" shit>
> I was told by Papa Joe Mama that getting cut from the Devival was at
> the very least the indirect result of a phone call Stang received from
> Susie complaining about my participation. Now, who is reviving our
> past differences here? Susie, Stang, or Papa Joe? In any case, it
> wasn't me.
It doesn't matter now. You've screwed the pooch. Maybe you should have
thought before you went fucking ballistic on everyone. Now even the most
lowly Bobbie can ridicule you publicly as you twist in the wind,
squawking like an insane chicken. The best part is the fact that for as
long as we feel like ridiculing you here at alt.slack, you'll be drawn
here like a mutt on a short rope. You're HOOKED, boy. The very fact that
you're reading this post is proof.
> Your admission that you and (by your word, and we know what that's
> worth) Papa Joe Mama perpetrated a massive "racist" troll on
> alt.slack, is proof of how your mind operates.
So you say my word is worthless, yet you cite it as PROOF of how my mind
> The idea of posting
> NIGGER trolls to make white people uptight (so you say, now!) is prima
> facie evidence of what your mind dwells upon.
You're a fucking idiot. What am I supposed to say? "I'm Dr.Legume, and
I'm posting a racist troll to make you uptight. Please respond as if
you're highly offended."
It obviously got YOUR panties in a bunch, WHITEBOY.
>It sure as hell ain't
> preachin' "Bob".
Damn right it aint, praise "Bob".
>Besides, at this point, who can believe a word you
> say, anymore?
I would appreciate it if you would tell everyone exactly what it is I
LIED about. You keep referring to my incredibility, yet you haven't
mentioned even ONE time I've lied about ANYTHING. In the immortal words
of Colonel Jessup:
YOU WANT THE TRUTH?
YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!
The truth is, you're a psychotic reactionary asshole, a delusional
paranoid...in other words, you have the potential to make a GREAT
Christian...if you can take that dick out of your ass maybe they'll have
> You use of the fact that I am gay to ridicule me as if there were
> something wrong with it is likewise evidence that you are, in fact,
I use the fact that you are gay to ridicule you because I know that
it's the best way to piss you off. Works like a FUCKING CHARM, too,
doesn't it? I bet you're one of those dumbass fags who claims that
they're BORN gay, instead of just putting aside your SHAME and admitting
that you just LIKE TO FUCK OTHER MEN. This way you can blame you're
parents for your small, shitty life, instead of taking responsibility
for your own situation. And EVERYONE HERE can see how fond you are of
>What THAT has to do with preaching "Bob" is anyone's
> guess. Except, of course, yours.
It has NOTHING to do with preaching "Bob". It may surprise you to learn
that I have MY OWN opinions and thoughts, and that I dont spend all my
time sitting in a Prayer temple surrounded by incense and chanting
>You are righteous and anything you
> do is cool.
Thanks. I agree.
> You backed me 100%, huh? Unlike Rev. Stang, I am not a mindreader
> and I had no way of knowing that.
So you badmouth ME, when I had nothing to do with ANY of it.
>I found you email to be (a) late, (b) unbelievable, due to the fact that it came from you in the
> first place, Mr. Headgame, and (c) condescending, inasmuch as it
> contained the "slap us both" clause.
>Not that I gave a shit.
evidently you do, or you wouldn't have mentioned it.
>I told you just what the deal was,
> and obviously you are so used to overawing people that you couldn't
> handle honest talk from someone who thinks you are equal parts silly
> and not worth believing.
You don't even know me, dickweed. Anyone who does, would laugh at you.
Maybe it's YOU who looks at me with such AWE.
> You are buying too much into your own
> bully-boy hype
I reiterate: It's YOU who are buying into the hype. And it's not even
> and you're too used to intimidating pimply-faced
> Bobbies to understand that there are people out there who find you
> rather a bit of a blowhard.
Blowhard? I thought that was YOUR department
> Your overwrought reaction to my response
You're a FINE one to describe anyone else as overwrought. My response
wasn't written in ANGER. I was laughing at you the WHOLE TIME.
> is proof enough to me that like all schoolyard bullies, you can dish
> it out, but you can't take it.
Its proof I can take it, and dish out BETTER.
> Once again, I remind the readers of alt.slack that all this stuff
> from me came after I got cut from the Devival. Before that, I was
> busy forgetting about Susie and forging my own way as a preacher for
> "Bob". I have offended people, and I have screwed up royally at
> times, but I nevertheless honored my private commitment to Stang, and
> he decided that wasn't good enough. I ask you all: How would you
> like to organize a Devival, put money and time into it in an effort to
> show Stang you can do the Church some good, and when it's all locked
> and loaded, be suddenly informed that are creepy, not welcome in the
> Church and out of the Devival? Would you get pissed or would you lay
> down and take it?
Lay down and take it, Nolan. I hear that's your favorite position.
Just don't look for the roll of quarters on the nightstand afterward.
We're not your USUAL clientele...
Church of the SubGenius (Holocaustal)
Visit the Holocaustal Website at: