Subject: Turkey Explained, from the case files of Doktor Fine

Date: 10 Oct 1998 23:02:57 GMT

From: (DoktorFine)

Organization: AOL

Newsgroups: alt.slack


No one ever believes this


That why it is so cool that it is true!


I was driving thrue the Virginia Mountains a number of years back> I had with

me at the time my Nurse-of-the-moment, a very, Pneumatic voluptous redhead...

but i digress. The nature of the roadways was such that as you headed down or

up hill, (many of them they have there) the gasoline sloshed out of the reach

of the little tube that takes it to the motor, So we neede more gas and the

boondock station was closed. so we slpet in the car tim morning.


Nurse, was up early out side, and i heard her squeel with delight. "Look!" she

cried, "I'm famous!"

Indeed, she was standing at the corner of a fenced field, and there were at

least three hundred white domestic turkey all jammed into the corner where she

was standing. In a few moments a farmer approached a bit irate until he cast a

veiw at my Calpygian Comrade. then he was al wilin to extol the delights of

being a free range turkey farmer. He explaned that the tukeys had all come to

the corner to see if she was a food source, and the ones on the outside of the

crowd wer trying to get inside to see what was all the interest. the ones on

the inside, pressed by thier fiel mates could no longe move. Undisturbed, they

would all remain in this state until something else happened. (Are Humans

related to turkeys?) THEN things got strange.

"wanna see how we kilL em?" Nurse was uninterested, but your good doktor was

curious. Chopping block? Childrens television?

the farmer took me to another field, where ther was a large low box, with many

wires leading from it. Before my astonded eyes he lured/called about 20

turkeys into the box. Closing the doors he said we had to wait a minute, till

they responded to the darkness by going to sleep. this took only a few minutes,

and he slyly grinned at me as he mashed down on a large switch. That switch

lead to the many wires in the box. That switch sent current to about 15

automotive horns, the kind that have little compressors for the air horn. the

horns were in the box with the sleeping turkeys.


He held the switch for about 15 seconds.


when he let it up, the top of the box was lifted to reveal that EVERY ONE OF



"It just scares them to death." He explained with pride

"Kinder too don'tcha' think then letting them get all worked up in a

traditional slaughter"

Being used to exposure to dangerous primitives, i aggreeed as enthusasticallas

my ravaged neurosystm would allow, and quickly went back to my Nurse, and the

now open gas station.


I do not need to lie, the truth is wierd enough.