Subject: Turkey Explained, from the case files of Doktor Fine
Date: 10 Oct 1998 23:02:57 GMT
From: email@example.com (DoktorFine)
Organization: AOL http://www.aol.com
No one ever believes this
That why it is so cool that it is true!
I was driving thrue the Virginia Mountains a number of years back> I had with
me at the time my Nurse-of-the-moment, a very, Pneumatic voluptous redhead...
but i digress. The nature of the roadways was such that as you headed down or
up hill, (many of them they have there) the gasoline sloshed out of the reach
of the little tube that takes it to the motor, So we neede more gas and the
boondock station was closed. so we slpet in the car tim morning.
Nurse, was up early out side, and i heard her squeel with delight. "Look!" she
cried, "I'm famous!"
Indeed, she was standing at the corner of a fenced field, and there were at
least three hundred white domestic turkey all jammed into the corner where she
was standing. In a few moments a farmer approached a bit irate until he cast a
veiw at my Calpygian Comrade. then he was al wilin to extol the delights of
being a free range turkey farmer. He explaned that the tukeys had all come to
the corner to see if she was a food source, and the ones on the outside of the
crowd wer trying to get inside to see what was all the interest. the ones on
the inside, pressed by thier fiel mates could no longe move. Undisturbed, they
would all remain in this state until something else happened. (Are Humans
related to turkeys?) THEN things got strange.
"wanna see how we kilL em?" Nurse was uninterested, but your good doktor was
curious. Chopping block? Childrens television?
the farmer took me to another field, where ther was a large low box, with many
wires leading from it. Before my astonded eyes he lured/called about 20
turkeys into the box. Closing the doors he said we had to wait a minute, till
they responded to the darkness by going to sleep. this took only a few minutes,
and he slyly grinned at me as he mashed down on a large switch. That switch
lead to the many wires in the box. That switch sent current to about 15
automotive horns, the kind that have little compressors for the air horn. the
horns were in the box with the sleeping turkeys.
He held the switch for about 15 seconds.
when he let it up, the top of the box was lifted to reveal that EVERY ONE OF
THOSE TURKEYS WAS DEAD.
"It just scares them to death." He explained with pride
"Kinder too don'tcha' think then letting them get all worked up in a
Being used to exposure to dangerous primitives, i aggreeed as enthusasticallas
my ravaged neurosystm would allow, and quickly went back to my Nurse, and the
now open gas station.
I do not need to lie, the truth is wierd enough.