Subject: FREE RANGE INTERNS-HOT AND FRESH!
Date: Sat, 31 Jan 1998
From: Candy-Colored Clown<firstname.lastname@example.org> Organization: Society To PromoteTooth Decay and General Uneasiness
Newsgroups: chi.media,chi.personals, alt.slack, alt.angst
FREE RANGE INTERNS-HOT AND FRESH!
Crazy Eddie, the nut who introduced the wildly successful
Rent-An-Emaciated-Crack-Whore service, is now delighted to announce that
he has expanded his line to offer an alternative for today's powerful,
high-profile man: Rent-A-Nubile-Nymphomaniac-Intern! That's right! Who
better to service America's ruling elite than a wild-and-willing,
fresh-faced, co-ed/glorified secretary who swallows more than just her
pride! Whether you're a frustrated high-ranking legislative official or a
bloated CEO seeking to have special needs and carnal desires attended to,
we'll match you up with the appropriate gal from Eddie's well-maintained
stable of dorm dames! All of Eddie's handpicked, medically screened girls
have been extensively road-tested and are guaranteed to arrive hot, fresh,
pre-lubricated and post-menstrual! Each girl has been raised in a
coddled, stress and trauma-controlled, free range environment, so you can
be sure you're receiving only the very highest quality intern! Eddie also
promises front-door delivery within 24 hours or your first intern is free!
Attention married men: Get ready to experience a forbidden lust so
powerful, mankind's future hinges on its outcome! The new Monica series
is specially equipped to lure you into compromising scenarios and
embarrassing situations in a frantic attempt to garner attention and
possibly alter the course of human history! So go ahead and get
"internal" with the handpicked intern of your dreams, but act now while
she's still hot; there's always a special prosecutor just around the
corner waiting to chill her out!
Dial 1-800-ES-COURT and ask for Vernon!
Crazy Eddie says: "I'm not a pimp, though I am willing to learn!"