Subject: Re: UFO Cult Denies Suicidal Tendencies

Date: Thu, 25 Dec 1997 19:59:13 -0800

From: mitchell@DOESN'T.SPAM.SUCK.interserv.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench)

Organization: Fools' Press--Spiting The Gods Since 1989

Newsgroups: alt.slack

References: 1 , 2

In article <#1bZf2PE9GA.133@upnetnews02.moswest.msn.net>, "Chuck Key"

<key666@email.msn.com> wrote:

: ``To commit suicide is to kill Bob,'' a lone straggler at the

:church said Tuesday, shaking his head behind a chain link

:fence. ``It's killing your soul that was delegated to you from

:Bob.''

Well, yes, this is a TRUE statement, but I'm afraid you miss the point.

There are so many ways to kill "Bob"--the Drummondians claim 999 specific

ways, the Holocaustals cite 13013 unique ways, while the Sternodoctrinals,

Maltafarians, Gordonites, Sheldonates, Nensletics, and several other

metaschisms are either still counting or has lost count and continue

killing "Bob" for the hell of it. (There are rumors of schisms that kill

"Bob" on a daily basis yet claim to have never killed "Bob", which is so

out of the SubGenius character that we can only assume that the Thelemites

are now wearing Dobbshead t-shirts.)

With so many ways to kill "Bob", are you going to settle with SUICIDE? At

least explore your options first! Killing "Bob" by suicide should only be

attempted by Doktors who have attained the level at which they may create

their own GuruPee. The GuruPee serves as a resurrection aid which is

naturally initiated through the resurgence of Slack into the guda chakra

from the foot gland. It is by this technique that Doktors are also known as

Fully Erect W.O.Men, or Neophyte Overmen. The old hymn, "Since I Killed

"Bob" and He Killed Me (Everything Is Fuckin' Great)" has some profound

truths in its lyrics, yes, but if you haven't killed "Bob" personally and

repeatedly every day for years, you just aren't ready.

More money.

P-Lil

--

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