From Mon Feb 02 01:25:54 1998

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Perfect Lottery

From: "Rev. Random the Other" <>

Date: Mon, 02 Feb 1998 04:25:54 -0500


Why buy a ticket to a lottery? The ONLY reason is to get money

without having to WORK for it. The concept is that a lot of

other people each chip in a small amount and THE WINNER gets

all that cash. Wouldn't YOU spend a small amount if you KNEW

you would win? Well, thats what I'm here tonight to talk

about. Those wonderful folks at the SubGenius Foundation have

come up with a perfect system--a perfect lottery, if you

will--that GUARANTEES never having to WORK again!


How can this be? Well, it works because it's FIXED. That's

right, and it's about the ONLY thing in this country that

AIN'T BROKE. State congresses pass lottery bills based on

promises to spend lottery income on the school systems, and

they sure do, don't they? Metal detectors and cameras, drug

dogs and guards. Sure, they want you to WORK your whole life

so you have the money to GIVE AWAY on a ticket that MIGHT,

just MIGHT get you OUT of that JOB, and even if you don't WIN

you know that your children are in just a little LESS danger

in the state school system. How did you ever fall for THAT?


It looks mighty fine, of course, when the MONEY comes rolling

in, when the lines are out the doors where they sell you

those TICKETS to FREEDOM, knowing all the while that your

chances at that FREEDOM are about as likely as your

daughter's chances of making it through public school without

being raped, drugged, killed, or BORED TO DISTRACTION, oh

yeah, when the LINES are out the DOOR and everybody thinks

THEY got the winning TICKET, well, hey, the SYSTEM seems to

WORK, don't it? But as soon as the SHINE is off the GOLDEN

APPLE, as soon as them ticket-buyers start figuring out that

that dollar could have bought them a beer to drown their

sorrow at having to WORK at a JOB they hate, their sorrow at

having to send their KIDS off to a DANGEROUS, MINDNUMBING

DOMESTICATION FACTORIES where they learn conformity and

punctuality and how NOT to NOTICE degradation, as soon as

them dollars STOP rolling in, what happens? Well, the State

has to start PROMOTING that lottery, has to start LURING

people BACK into those lines, has to ADVERTISE those WINNING

TICKETS always just a dollar away. And where does the

advertising money come from? THEY RAISE YOUR TAXES!


They raise your taxes and you just gotta work longer, your

JOB becomes just a little bit more mandatory, just a little

bit more necessary for survival, and your take home pay just a

little bit less than it was. And that little bit less take

home pay leads to just a little bit more desperation, just a

few more families doing without, just a few more schoolkids

dealing drugs because it is sure as hell a lot EASIER than

working a JOB that always provides less and less of what you

THOUGHT you wanted a job for in the first place. And it WORKS,

for the State, because it makes that dream of LEAVING that

JOB, of being able to AFFORD to get your kids OUT of those

dangerous schools, just a little bit more desirable.


So ASK yourself, would YOU like to QUIT your JOB? Are you

WILLING to spend just a SMALL amount, just ONE DOLLAR to learn

about this PERFECT, FIXED SYSTEM that guarantees income,

without having to SACRIFICE to your state run THUMBSCREW

SYSTEM, your CORPORATE TREADMILLS where the speed is always

increasing even though the CARROT is always FARTHER AWAY, your

COMMUNITY FUNDRAISERS needed to buy the necessities that they

promised YOUR children would have in their schools but they

spent on F-117 STEALTH BOMBERS instead?


Just send ONE DOLLAR to:


The SubGenius Foundation

PO Box 140306

Dallas, TX 75214


They have the answer.





$ Rev. Random the Other $

$ Sweepstakes Winner $

$ Next Big Drawing 7/5/98 $