Lemme tell you all RIGHT NOW I am gonna LAY IT DOWN and PREACH THE
WORD. That's right strap yourself IN cause we're gonna BEGIN.
I'm here to tell y'all about MY HATE. MY HATE is a LIVING BREATHING
COSMIC ENTITY perched on a metaphysical SOFA the size of a BLACK HOLE,
eating potato chips DEEP-FRIED in ANGST and watching a TV that only gets
TWO CHANNELS: The CHRISTIAN NETWORK and MTV. Don't you look at me! I
am NOT a "freak"! I am the ANTI-FREAK. I INVENTED "punk rock" AND
"disco duck" AND "birth control" AND I wrote EVERY SONG on "Frampton
Comes Alive!" Sid Vicious used to MOW MY LAWN and PAY ME a dollar an
hour! I built COURTNEY LOVE out of SPARE PARTS I found in my
BACK-YARD.. she runs on NINE-VOLTS.. she lives in my BASEMENT.. I only
let her out for SHOWS and INTERVIEWS with ROLLING STONE MAGAZINE.
MY HATE is something I've been SECRETLY CONSTRUCTING out of DARK MATTER
LEGOS, MY HATE is kept in SHAPE by LITTLE GNOMES from Planet Triple-X,
yes MY HATE can FUCK YOU or you can FUCK IT! It interfaces BOTH WAYS!
MY HATE will whiten your TEETH harden your NIPPLES and BLOW YOUR MIND!
And there are NO HIDDEN SURCHARGES for the USE of MY HATE! It's FREE!
Give some to YOUR FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS! BATHE in MY HATE! Rinse your
CAR with MY HATE! Feed it to your DOG or your SPOUSE.. WHICHEVER you
feel is MORE APPROPRIATE!
MY HATE built the pyramids, MY HATE was the SALT on JESUS' TEQUILA
GLASS, MY HATE was the DAGGER in Caeser's BACK, MY HATE WENT TO HELL
with Dante and LAUGHED at Satan! The man has no GAME.. he has no
TECHNIQUE! GOD and the DEVIL both have CLASSIFIED PROJECTS to STUDY MY
HATE and LEARN FROM IT. MY HATE came to NIETZSCHE in the NIGHT.. yes if
MY HATE doesn't KILL YOU it will MAKE YOU STRONGER! MY HATE lived in
Lou Reed's GUITAR during a CONFUSED PERIOD of its life.. when it LEFT it
had to join NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS. But it's BACK and in BETTER SHAPE THAN
YES now MY HATE is coming soon to a theater near you, MY HATE contains
the HIT SINGLE "Why Mortals Have the Advatage Over Vampires", MY HATE is
a CUTESY NOVELTY ITEM, MY HATE is now available at your LOCAL BOOKSTORE
and contains 101 RECIPES for DEEP-FRIED REDNECKS. MY HATE is STRAPPED
IN and READY! Let MAN and "Bob" bear WITNESS because MY HATE has set
its sights on YOU! TAKE COVER, HIDE YOUR CHILDREN and your NYQUIL, LOCK
your LIQUOR CABINET and GET READY TO ROCK! MY HATE is the poison THORN
in your SIDE and MY HATE just DOESN'T GIVE A DAMN! MY HATE is TWICE as
contagious as EBOLA and 100 times as DEADLY! AMEN, HALLELUJAH, PRAISE