Subject: Re: heresy, or some nonesuch

Date: 23 Jan 98 18:49:19 GMT

From: bg19354@binghamton.edu.NoMoReDaMnSpAm (Nully Fydyan)

Organization: Church of the Ungendered Yeti

Newsgroups: alt.slack

References: 1 , 2 

 

In article <34C68124.4C44@u.washington.edu>, "Rev. Boblight"

<blight@u.washington.edu> wrote:

> Not a bad assessment, really, for what will happen to Bobbies. For

> THEM, it's too late, and giving their $$ to "Bob" is pretty much just

> staving off the inevitable.

>

> Let me explain with an analogy. Salespeople are much like disease

> organisms which create conditions beneficial to themselves but which

> weaken their hosts. This creates a metaphorical vacuum which sucks

> soul-stuff away from the host. The spending of money is simply a

> physical MANIFESTATION of soul-loss.

>

> "Bob" is a sales vaccine.

>

 

 

You seem to have missed a fundamental element of salesmanship: It is not

HARD to separate people from their money. They WANT to spend it, and they

NEED a saleman to convince them that they are not doing something horrible

and wrong. A terrible salesman can convince people to buy what they want

to. What separates the good salesmen is they get people to buy things

they never considered owning, and don't particularly have any use for.

And a Great salesman -- he will sell you things you absolutely DO NOT

want, and leave you with NO doubts, at least not immediately during and

after the transaction, that you did the right thing. And what makes "Bob"

the penultimate salesman? He can sell you something you don't want, have

no use for, and will actually require you to spend more time and energy

and money, and convince you that you got the better of the deal. You will

never regret what you buy from "Bob".

 

Unfortunately, "Bob's" representatives on Earth are not nearly as good as

he himself is, because no one ever will be. Stang and Jesus and company

are good, but they are not great. So you give them money, and then at

some point afterwards wonder if maybe, just maybe, you were terribly

ripped off. You're never quite sure, though you may rant about it for a

while. But if someone said, "Ok, send it back. All the slack and humor

and everything you've gotten from the Church, and you can have your $10 or

$20 or $30 dollars back", would you do it? Most of us wouldn't. At this

point it has nothing to do with eternal salvation. We bought one thing

and we got something else. And maybe, just maybe, we DID buy eternal

salvation. We will never know, so it's a great scam they've got going

on. Which only means that SOMEONE over there in Texas listened very

carefully to "Bob" all those years ago.

 

Nully

practicing rudimentary mind-control on the customers

 

--

Rev. Nully Fydyan

Church of the Ungendered Yeti

 

"All the prophets and the gypsies on the strip in Venice Beach

have looked me in the eye and said, "Your dreams still lie in reach"

and who am I to doubt them and who are you to write these speeches?"

-- Ellis Paul