Subject: Re: MY HAPPY DAY AT MICKET D'S
Date: 06 Jun 1998 05:41:43 EDT
From: Pee Kitty <Pkitty@voyager.cris.com>
Organization: Dobbstown Sane Asylum
References: 1 , 2
Bishop187 <firstname.lastname@example.org> spewed forth:
> Ok. Bishop187 here, over in alt.shenanigans. I've been following this thread,
> and I would like to ask people in alt.slack: exactly what *is* slack? (Please
> reply by email, to avoid posting stuff that people on one newsgroup know, and
> the people on the other either know or don't care. )
Waitasec...that's missing the whole POINT, m'man! We're not just a
collective gathering of idiots and misfits mentally masturbating at our
computers! We're a RELIGION full of idiots and misfits mentally
masturbating at our computers! We have to spread the WORD...so I do this
out in the open rather than email, in the hopes that some small measure of
souls can be saved...
Slack is a very hard word to narrow down, as any good religous term should
be. It is something like happiness, but beyond it. Like luck, but beyond
it. Like sex and money and everything good, but beyond it. Slack is that
essential spark of LIFE that everyone was born with, but that the
Conspiracy of Normalcy (aka the Con) has worked hard to take away from us.
Most people nowadays have none of this spark left in them...their days are
filled with meaningless, repetitive work followed by meaningless
repetitive "fun". The Con keeps a wire wound up around their neck and
spine so tightly that they can't even think...they figure that this is the
way life is, that you get nothing for nothing, and they drudge through
their days sadly. What they need is a little Slack.
Slack is something for nothing. It's a sort of direct perception on life
combined with an influx of happiness and luck. Slack is truly Something
for Nothing. When you can walk into an empty situation...one in which no
normal human could find any special happiness, luck, or redeeming values,
and glean true Happiness, Luck, or any other Wonderful Thing out of it,
that's Slack. It's an attitude in some ways, a ethereal quality in others,
and something indescribable in most. It's easier to give examples of NOT
having Slack than of having it. When you're saying to yourself, "Oh, I'd
be happy if I only had <X>", where <X> could be anything from a blowjob to
a sandwich, but you can't be happy without it...it's SLACK that you really
need. When you have Slack, you can get that sandwich or that blowjob or,
more importantly, whatever you REALLY need (whether you know it or not) to
be happy. It snowballs...a little luck turns into a tidal wave of it.
We're all questing for Total Slack, but that's hard to come by with the
Con in full force.
What's the Con? It's not some delusionary Illuminati group controlling the
world. We're cultists, but we're not MORONS. The Conspiracy is so
insidious and selfperpetuation because it does not REALIZE that it IS a
conspiracy! It's the subconscious agreement among the minds of the
majority of what is and is not "normal". Everyone KNOWS that you have to
have a job...anyone without a job can't live a normal life, right?
Everyone KNOWS that people can dress certain ways...anyone who dresses
against those ways isn't normal, right? You get the point. This Con has
been sucking away the Slack of the world for hundreds of hundreds of
years. Others have realized it, and been wiped out before they could cause
any change. Recently, a few decades ago, a man by the name of J. R. "Bob"
Dobbs experienced a divine emaculation in which he realized that this
Conspiracy of Normalcy existed...that IT was the reason the world was so
fucked up...and that it was nearly impossible to fight, because the
people being oppressed by it were the ones conspiring in it! He realized
that there was something being taken away, something that we all need and
all deserve to have, since it's unlimited and free...he called it Slack.
And we've been grabbing as much Slack as we could get ever since.
Rev. Pee Kitty, of the order Malkavian-Dobbsian
| "Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke is more than just a meaningless |
| slogan; it's actually a pretty serious statement, and one that I hold |
| true to, with a cream pie in one hand and a chainsaw in the other..." |
| -- Me |