Subject: Re: You may already be dead

Date: 12 Sep 1998 23:14:49 PDT

From: Pee Kitty <Pkitty@viking.cris.com>

Organization: Dobbstown Sane Asylum

Newsgroups: alt.slack

References: 1

 

Rev. Zebrinski <locx@accessone.com> spewed forth:

> The End of Time may have come and gone and you missed it.

> What made you think that when you die you would know that

> you are dead? Not likely, no. Take a look around you my

> friend. Turn on the news and ask yourself "Am I in Hell?".

> Well, of course you are. And we are all right here with

> you, so don't feel alone.

 

Hell?

 

No, no, I am not. Perhaps I am in HELLE [1], but not in some weak,

flame-fire-and-brimstone christian-mythos place of punishment. For I have

Slack. Lo, I not only HAVE Slack, but I LIVE Slack, I AM Slack, I BREATHE

Slack, I OOZE Slack, I BECOME Slack, I SLACK SLACK!!

 

My days are FILLED with Slack in a way that I cannot even begin to

describe. Sometimes I envy Meg and Tarla, their ability to accurately

describe their day in a way that makes it clear just how much Slack they

sucked off of each situation. I can't do that.

 

For example, here's the only way I know how to describe last night:

 

Friday night, our whole multiclench went to The Castle, our favorite club

in Ybor. We told ALL of our friends to show up, and they all did, and we

hung out. I danced a lot, which is extra fun because I dance pretty wacky,

so I get lots of compliments on my originality while getting sneered at by

the really pretentious goths, who I then try to annoy. At the end of the

night, we got pasta at a grocery store and met a really cool cashier, then

we went home and ate a big pasta dinner before passing out.

 

Now, sure, that probably sounds like a 'fun night', but that shows just

how much I FUCKING SUCK, because last night was EXPLODING with SLACK from

beginning to end! It was like a night of PURE RAPTURE, every moment filled

with SOMETHING to keep me floating on the silver cloud below me!

 

It's hard to convey why I like The Castle, for example. You see, most

clubs in Ybor - fuck that, most clubs ANYWHERE - are full of 98% pink,

conformist jerks and 2% people that I don't want to kill ON THE SPOT. The

Castle is more like 90% pink conformist jerks, 3% people that aren't but

that I STILL want to kill on the spot, and 7% people I can actually get

along with! (Do the math - that's a 5740% increase!) Why? It seems to have

something to do with the nature of the scene there... most goths are goth

because it's a cool, antsocial and dark thing to do, and it gives them a

false 'image' to cover up their lack of a real personality. But some

really are doing it because it's what they're really like, deep down

inside. They're honestly expressing themselves individualistically.

Because of that, there are actually a lot of 'freaks' at The Castle

besides just the goths. Jock-types, punk-types, weirdo-types, raver-types,

and other unclassifiables all frequent there, and I've met more SubGenii

at The Castle than I've met in all the rest of Tampa Bay!

 

And yet the majority of the people there ARE pink...and HOW Pink they are,

my friends! Glorp Goths are about as horribly, stereotypically pink and

cliquish as you can GET. This makes me happy. This gives me a TARGET.

 

I don't dress weird and act crazy to try to prove anything. I don't do it

to be cool. I don't do it to be a "good SubGenius". I do it because I'm

being MYSELF. YES, I wear the striped socks in real life. YES, I put my

hair in pig tails in real life. What you see is me, honestly trying to

shape my self-image into an external image. I think at ODD ANGLES to

standard thought patterns, and it MANIFESTS in my behavior unless I

consciously suppress it. In other words, I don't TRY to piss off the

glorps...I just *do*. Doesn't mean I don't enjoy it.....

 

DANCING???

 

FUCKING DANCING???

 

"AM I A GOOD DANCER, PK?? DIDJA SEE ME DANCING?? DIDJA?? WAS I GOOD??"

 

Listen to me NOW and listen to me ONCE - you are a good dancer if you HAVE

THE BALLS TO GET OUT ON THE FLOOR and do what COMES NATURALLY without

wimping out and doing what everyone else is doing, just BECAUSE they're

all doing it.

 

YOU HEAR ME, GODFATHER?

 

Oh wait, he's not online.

 

Anyways, he stopped doing that. He USED to ask me if I thought his dancing

was good, fairly often. I always told him YES because he was just out

there moving to the beat in whatever way his body wanted to. That is a

beautiful thing.

 

Me, I can DANCE. I can motherfucking DANCE and I invite you all to the

Castle to see. I can't goth dance...but I can pull a repetoire of moves

from all decades and mutate 'em into whatever I'm feeling at the moment.

My dancing is a combination of aerobics, old school rap dancing,

breakdancing, an epileptic fit, and a person in a fight with an invisible

opponent - all to the beat.

 

I work off a LOT of calories dancing. I get a lot of compliments, too. It

used to surprise me how many goths really WERE for individuality and loved

seeing something new and refreshing...I taught some some moves, even.

Seeing a glimmer of HOPE and POTENTIAL in what I thought was a sea of

Pinkness fills my hateful heart with JOY, friends!

 

Yet my heart still hates, for the Pinkness runs rampant in the club. Evil

glorpy goths rear back their mascara-weighted heads and hiss when I take

the floor, annoyed and outraged at my lack of respect for the music. I am

not dancing "right". I am dancing goofy, therefore I must be TRYING to

insult them. I must really think the music sucks and I'm making fun of it.

Oh, never mind the fact that I AM dancing to the beat and occasionally

SINGING ALONG because I know a song or two that they play by HEART because

I'm into ALL sorts of music, INCLUDING NIN/Rammstein/Malign/etc., and I'm

genuinely ENJOYING MYSELF, dancing out of JOY, not out of SPITE. Oh, but

nevermind all that - obviously I'm the INTERLOPER that they must deal

with. And some walk off the floor when I walk on, giving me "that look"

that I truly LOVE to see. And when they do, I dance my heart out; when I

take a break, I keep an eye on them - if they go back onto the floor,

BLAMMO! I'm there in front of 'em, dancing JUST FOR THEM. JUST to say

"fuck you". If they want my attention, they GET IT. They get it until I

get SICK of baiting them...usually several HOURS later.

 

I believe not only in retribution, but massive OVERKILL in retribution.

You push me, I nuke you. That sort of thing.

 

And having ALL our friends there that night made it five times better.

Everywhere I went, a friend. Everywhere I danced, everywhere I walked,

everywhere I was, a friend to hug and hang out with and dance with and do

stupid, silly, friend-type stuff with. We were a PRESENCE that night, and

many of the glorpy goths were afraid - afraid that we actually might

outnumber THEM. If you added in the cool goths, our semi-friends, we just

might've....

 

So my night was a collage of scenes, all involving some friends, a lot of

fun, and me being TOTALLY myself, unapologetic for it, often at the cheers

of others.

 

I even spun on my head for the first time in years. Who the fuck says you

can't breakdance to Corpus Delicti?

 

 

[1] SubGenius Heaven, of course.

 

--

 

Rev. Pee Kitty, of the order Malkavian-Dobbsian

Meow!

 

::: Thinking about a Tampa Bay Devival in the future - email me!

::: Or go to http://www.cris.com/~pkitty (hell, go there anyways!)