Subject: Re: You may already be dead
Date: 12 Sep 1998 23:14:49 PDT
From: Pee Kitty <Pkitty@viking.cris.com>
Organization: Dobbstown Sane Asylum
Rev. Zebrinski <firstname.lastname@example.org> spewed forth:
> The End of Time may have come and gone and you missed it.
> What made you think that when you die you would know that
> you are dead? Not likely, no. Take a look around you my
> friend. Turn on the news and ask yourself "Am I in Hell?".
> Well, of course you are. And we are all right here with
> you, so don't feel alone.
No, no, I am not. Perhaps I am in HELLE , but not in some weak,
flame-fire-and-brimstone christian-mythos place of punishment. For I have
Slack. Lo, I not only HAVE Slack, but I LIVE Slack, I AM Slack, I BREATHE
Slack, I OOZE Slack, I BECOME Slack, I SLACK SLACK!!
My days are FILLED with Slack in a way that I cannot even begin to
describe. Sometimes I envy Meg and Tarla, their ability to accurately
describe their day in a way that makes it clear just how much Slack they
sucked off of each situation. I can't do that.
For example, here's the only way I know how to describe last night:
Friday night, our whole multiclench went to The Castle, our favorite club
in Ybor. We told ALL of our friends to show up, and they all did, and we
hung out. I danced a lot, which is extra fun because I dance pretty wacky,
so I get lots of compliments on my originality while getting sneered at by
the really pretentious goths, who I then try to annoy. At the end of the
night, we got pasta at a grocery store and met a really cool cashier, then
we went home and ate a big pasta dinner before passing out.
Now, sure, that probably sounds like a 'fun night', but that shows just
how much I FUCKING SUCK, because last night was EXPLODING with SLACK from
beginning to end! It was like a night of PURE RAPTURE, every moment filled
with SOMETHING to keep me floating on the silver cloud below me!
It's hard to convey why I like The Castle, for example. You see, most
clubs in Ybor - fuck that, most clubs ANYWHERE - are full of 98% pink,
conformist jerks and 2% people that I don't want to kill ON THE SPOT. The
Castle is more like 90% pink conformist jerks, 3% people that aren't but
that I STILL want to kill on the spot, and 7% people I can actually get
along with! (Do the math - that's a 5740% increase!) Why? It seems to have
something to do with the nature of the scene there... most goths are goth
because it's a cool, antsocial and dark thing to do, and it gives them a
false 'image' to cover up their lack of a real personality. But some
really are doing it because it's what they're really like, deep down
inside. They're honestly expressing themselves individualistically.
Because of that, there are actually a lot of 'freaks' at The Castle
besides just the goths. Jock-types, punk-types, weirdo-types, raver-types,
and other unclassifiables all frequent there, and I've met more SubGenii
at The Castle than I've met in all the rest of Tampa Bay!
And yet the majority of the people there ARE pink...and HOW Pink they are,
my friends! Glorp Goths are about as horribly, stereotypically pink and
cliquish as you can GET. This makes me happy. This gives me a TARGET.
I don't dress weird and act crazy to try to prove anything. I don't do it
to be cool. I don't do it to be a "good SubGenius". I do it because I'm
being MYSELF. YES, I wear the striped socks in real life. YES, I put my
hair in pig tails in real life. What you see is me, honestly trying to
shape my self-image into an external image. I think at ODD ANGLES to
standard thought patterns, and it MANIFESTS in my behavior unless I
consciously suppress it. In other words, I don't TRY to piss off the
glorps...I just *do*. Doesn't mean I don't enjoy it.....
"AM I A GOOD DANCER, PK?? DIDJA SEE ME DANCING?? DIDJA?? WAS I GOOD??"
Listen to me NOW and listen to me ONCE - you are a good dancer if you HAVE
THE BALLS TO GET OUT ON THE FLOOR and do what COMES NATURALLY without
wimping out and doing what everyone else is doing, just BECAUSE they're
all doing it.
YOU HEAR ME, GODFATHER?
Oh wait, he's not online.
Anyways, he stopped doing that. He USED to ask me if I thought his dancing
was good, fairly often. I always told him YES because he was just out
there moving to the beat in whatever way his body wanted to. That is a
Me, I can DANCE. I can motherfucking DANCE and I invite you all to the
Castle to see. I can't goth dance...but I can pull a repetoire of moves
from all decades and mutate 'em into whatever I'm feeling at the moment.
My dancing is a combination of aerobics, old school rap dancing,
breakdancing, an epileptic fit, and a person in a fight with an invisible
opponent - all to the beat.
I work off a LOT of calories dancing. I get a lot of compliments, too. It
used to surprise me how many goths really WERE for individuality and loved
seeing something new and refreshing...I taught some some moves, even.
Seeing a glimmer of HOPE and POTENTIAL in what I thought was a sea of
Pinkness fills my hateful heart with JOY, friends!
Yet my heart still hates, for the Pinkness runs rampant in the club. Evil
glorpy goths rear back their mascara-weighted heads and hiss when I take
the floor, annoyed and outraged at my lack of respect for the music. I am
not dancing "right". I am dancing goofy, therefore I must be TRYING to
insult them. I must really think the music sucks and I'm making fun of it.
Oh, never mind the fact that I AM dancing to the beat and occasionally
SINGING ALONG because I know a song or two that they play by HEART because
I'm into ALL sorts of music, INCLUDING NIN/Rammstein/Malign/etc., and I'm
genuinely ENJOYING MYSELF, dancing out of JOY, not out of SPITE. Oh, but
nevermind all that - obviously I'm the INTERLOPER that they must deal
with. And some walk off the floor when I walk on, giving me "that look"
that I truly LOVE to see. And when they do, I dance my heart out; when I
take a break, I keep an eye on them - if they go back onto the floor,
BLAMMO! I'm there in front of 'em, dancing JUST FOR THEM. JUST to say
"fuck you". If they want my attention, they GET IT. They get it until I
get SICK of baiting them...usually several HOURS later.
I believe not only in retribution, but massive OVERKILL in retribution.
You push me, I nuke you. That sort of thing.
And having ALL our friends there that night made it five times better.
Everywhere I went, a friend. Everywhere I danced, everywhere I walked,
everywhere I was, a friend to hug and hang out with and dance with and do
stupid, silly, friend-type stuff with. We were a PRESENCE that night, and
many of the glorpy goths were afraid - afraid that we actually might
outnumber THEM. If you added in the cool goths, our semi-friends, we just
So my night was a collage of scenes, all involving some friends, a lot of
fun, and me being TOTALLY myself, unapologetic for it, often at the cheers
I even spun on my head for the first time in years. Who the fuck says you
can't breakdance to Corpus Delicti?
 SubGenius Heaven, of course.
Rev. Pee Kitty, of the order Malkavian-Dobbsian
::: Thinking about a Tampa Bay Devival in the future - email me!
::: Or go to http://www.cris.com/~pkitty (hell, go there anyways!)