Subject: Stable Manners

Date: 20 Oct 1998 00:00:00 GMT

From: nospamum@radix.net (Mumthra)

Organization: RadixNet Internet Services

Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free

An unexpected benefit of breeding is the responses you get when you

lovingly deal the plates onto the dinner table. I have made an effort

to impress upon the little loves that "YUCK!" is not the word I want

to hear. I have told them countless times that no matter how

disgusting the glop on the plate looks, their tasks are:

To say, "Thank you for cooking";

To taste it (discrete and silent nose-holding is permissable);

To avoid the things that they don't want to eat without comment or

scraping or flinging motions.

Usually, they remember at least two of these things at any given meal,

but occasionally they energetically trespass over all three.

During a flare-up of my long term insanity, I served them tacos. It

was a mean thing to do, really, but most kids like tacos, I think.

Certainly mexican children ingest an awful lot of corn tortillas in

various forms, so why shouldn't mine?

I put lots of filling options on the table and gave them plates with

the tortillas. "GROSS!" was the cry. (Only the baby was enthusiastic,

but she's still in the phase where anything that fits in her mouth

must be food). The girls both pushed their plates away and had

accusations and suggestions of other things they would rather be

eating. Trying to persuade them that it would be like eating

cheeseburgers and chips, I dished up the meat and cheese amid their

theatrical gagging noises.

After they pushed the plates away again, the Rev offered them buttered

bread. They insisted that they wanted ANOTHER dinner, but he

cheerfully pointed out that they had rejected a perfectly good dinner

and there wasn't a back-up dinner at the ready.

In response to the whining he said, "You know, you are really rude."

Spunky belched explosively. "Who's rude?"

He considered her for a minute and then he sat at the table and began

the most disgusting performance of openned-mouth chewing that I have

ever witnessed. I followed his lead and dropped my face into my plate

and slurped at the dropped bits of tomato. The degeneration continued

from there. We all abandoned conversation for the sake of putting our

feet on the table, snorting, scratching our butts and gargling with

our drinks.

Bo grinned under the cheese in her bangs. She finally recognized us as

her family.