Date: 02 Mar 1996 00:00:00 GMT
From: megeliz@radix.net (MegEliz)
Organization: Gene Wolfe Library and Family Restaurant, East Wing
Newsgroups: alt.slack
I quite simply cannot fucking believe this.
For DAYS I have been soaked with Slack. All I have needed to do to
share it is to make dripping noises over the telephone as a blessing.
I should have been a wreck of a girl, I really should, considering
that I've had one of the lowest possible blows to my remaining mental
equilibrium this week. I identified a much loved BODY today and STILL
I had Slack to spare.
This weird and persistent Slack-state was beginning to get on my
nerves. Had I somehow managed to kill "Bob" without even noticing? Is
this possible? Had I caused an modest explosion? Had I run him down
without even denting my car? Had he located the rat poison I left out?
Was his pipe carried off by vermin? No sooner did I think about him,
the fucker, than the sucking began.
I had a minor brain-cramp at the ATM and refused to believe that it
wouldn't recognize my magic number. Did I check it? NO, of course not!
I just punched it in again and again until the oracle decided to teach
me a lesson and kept my card. The ONE TIME in all my years of tickling
computers that I would have been HAPPY to see, "Are you really sure
you want to do this?" it doesn't nag or prompt me it just spits out a
slip that says I must "notify the institution." Let's play
Bureaucracy: I'll bring the swords. Slluuurp!
Unpleasant fury needs to be unleashed so that it does not to go stale,
so I went home and lay down and had a tantrum in my living room.
Reason number 2002 why the pupal uberfemmes are THE BEST: instead of
getting upset by my performance they joined in and kicked and screamed
and rolled all over the carpet.
I used to believe that I am not the sort of person who'd do murder
over a tube of toothpaste, a snore, or a slice of turkey. Now I am not
so sure.
Slack hangover commences. Stand back.
Not-Yet Popette Fucking Meg
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My sig is not under construction. It's dead. megeliz@radix.net
Subject: Re: The ATM ate my Slack
Date: 03 Mar 1996 00:00:00 GMT
From: megeliz@radix.net (MegEliz)
Organization: Gene Wolfe Library and Family Restaurant, East Wing
Newsgroups: alt.slack
References: 1 , 2
bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar) wrote:
: This is a beautiful picture of a loving SubGenius family. I am deeply
: moved. You are obviously an excellent mother.
I just wanted to quote this. I feel so...so...JUICY! There is a dark
side to our little dears that I should probably mention. They are not
properly afraid of me 99% of the time. They are not cowed by a booming
yeti war cry or threats of cattle prods. We can't get a baby-sitter
(except their Grandma) that they won't rob and skin. We're terribly
close because we must be - there is no choice.
The other thing: they are unnaturally huge and strong. You know those
growth charts that the pediatricians doodle on? Wellll, sister,
they've had to tape extra sheets of paper to ours, like this:
N=normal X=P.U.
X <--off the chart at about 6 months
X NN
H X NN W
E X N E
I X N I
G X N G
H X N H
T X N T
X N
N
N
T I M E ------->
They WILL be bigger than me. Soon. All systems must be accelerated
accordingly. They must be taught not to eat their playmates, long
enough to get educated, for instance. Also I'll never have any decent
furniture if they can't learn to quit playing catch with the coffee
table.
: boys usually try to get as far away as possible without anyone
: noticing they are in motion...a sort of deliberate self-erasure. Now
: I'm jealous of YOU, too.
Don't be. Just send Western Union.
NYP bone tired Meg
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