Subject: Chlorine Cure
Date: 01 Oct 1998 00:00:00 GMT
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Mumthra)
Organization: RadixNet Internet Services
Last night, one was scurrying over the door frame in the kids'
bedroom. The kids weren't esspecially bothered, because I said they
don't bite. I saw one in the shower, but tried to convince myself it
was something else. When one of them fell off the inside of the
cabinet door onto the counter as I reached for a coffee cup this
morning, I started to get jumpy, but the worst was the time I reached
for a paper towel and caught sight of one of them using the roll like
a giant treadmill. That time I almost screamed.
Apparently, we have a serious infestation allofasudden, and these
aren't typical roaches. These are nuclear survival roaches. They lap
up the Raid like it's dessert and chuckle about the traps. I'm pretty
certain that they sometimes lie on their backs and do six-footed
running juggle tricks with the traps late at night. Yeah. They're
survivors AND althletic circus insects.
If they had any sense, they'd hide better, but they're not that smart
and they are thoroughly cocky cockroaches. Now I'm wearing shoes in
the kitchen and approaching every dark corner with hesitation AND I'm
losing what little appetite I have left. All this is putting me in a
real killing mood.
No more half-measures. This ain't no party. This ain't no giant roach
motel. This ain't no foolin' around. They are going to DIE.
We had a little hesitation about stinking up the whole house with
poison, but the fragrance of Raid is so heavy already that it hardly
seems like a big move any more. It's a smell that completely
disorients me and calls up the eerie sense that I'm back in New York.
It makes me want to go for a walk, look at Art, eat weird food, have
conversations with people dressed in posterboard, ANYTHING to avoid
huffing that bug killing perfume.
The reek was bad enough this morning that I burned some incense in the
kitchen, but after a few hours, the smell war was won, and the
cherry-flavored sandalwood smoke was defeated as if it had never
swirled around and made me sneeze.
We were driven from the house at last, and bailed into the indoor
swimming pool. As luck would have it, I still had a few paid passes,
and the counterkeeper winked and didn't charge for the baby.
After lots of happy splashing, all we can smell is the chlorine and
everyone is hungry again.
That settles it. We're gonna swim while their little buggy eyes go