Subject: Re: White House Pastry Chef Dies While Planning Her Ski Trip

Date: 19 Jan 1998 00:00:00 GMT

From: nospamum@radix.net (MegaLiz)

Organization: MotPU: Where Binary Moodswings are ALWAYS on the Menu

Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free, alt.slack

References: 1 , 2

 

 

 

 

iceknife@lanminds.com (ICEKNIFE) wrote:

 

: time for Spunky and Sparky to say something new, isn't it?

 

HEY! Why don't you pick on somebody your OWN VOLTAGE, huh? Do you

think it's FUNNY that I'm entire life has become a series of cliches

longer than the day is long? THIS IS SAD, YOU HEAR? Today I found

myself clipping COUPONS while mentally fast-forwarding to the day when

I will be an old, empty-headed, helmet-wearing harpy, STILL clipping

coupons, only this time for DENTUCREME. I'll be holding the scissors

backwards in my inflated knuckles, chewing my lip and muttering about

how the "children" only call me when they want money or guns. I'll

drool all over my Jerry Garcia Stamp collection and think that that is

Slack when it's only activating adhesive in a BAD WAY. I'll

absentmindedly nag at Jack, before realizing that he's NEVER GOING TO

TAKE THE TRASH OUT EVER EVER AGAIN, because I finally gave him that

heart attack back in 2005 and had him cremated, sprinkled him all over

the carpet and vacuumed him up right along with the CARPET FRESH JUST

FOR SPITE and to make sure that he finally SMELLED GOOD FOR ETERNITY.

I'll slog the trash outdoors in my slippers, realizing too late that I

left the sprinkler system on for about two years and sink into the mud

never to be able to shriek at drug-dealing paperboys again.

 

Those'll be the days.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------

Bobo: "GWICK! Em beh-BWAH-DA!"

Translation: My! That was unpleasant! Please help me keep the

spoon away from the back of my throat next time!

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