Subject: Re: White House Pastry Chef Dies While Planning Her Ski Trip
Date: 19 Jan 1998 00:00:00 GMT
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (MegaLiz)
Organization: MotPU: Where Binary Moodswings are ALWAYS on the Menu
Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free, alt.slack
References: 1 , 2
email@example.com (ICEKNIFE) wrote:
: time for Spunky and Sparky to say something new, isn't it?
HEY! Why don't you pick on somebody your OWN VOLTAGE, huh? Do you
think it's FUNNY that I'm entire life has become a series of cliches
longer than the day is long? THIS IS SAD, YOU HEAR? Today I found
myself clipping COUPONS while mentally fast-forwarding to the day when
I will be an old, empty-headed, helmet-wearing harpy, STILL clipping
coupons, only this time for DENTUCREME. I'll be holding the scissors
backwards in my inflated knuckles, chewing my lip and muttering about
how the "children" only call me when they want money or guns. I'll
drool all over my Jerry Garcia Stamp collection and think that that is
Slack when it's only activating adhesive in a BAD WAY. I'll
absentmindedly nag at Jack, before realizing that he's NEVER GOING TO
TAKE THE TRASH OUT EVER EVER AGAIN, because I finally gave him that
heart attack back in 2005 and had him cremated, sprinkled him all over
the carpet and vacuumed him up right along with the CARPET FRESH JUST
FOR SPITE and to make sure that he finally SMELLED GOOD FOR ETERNITY.
I'll slog the trash outdoors in my slippers, realizing too late that I
left the sprinkler system on for about two years and sink into the mud
never to be able to shriek at drug-dealing paperboys again.
Those'll be the days.
Bobo: "GWICK! Em beh-BWAH-DA!"
Translation: My! That was unpleasant! Please help me keep the
spoon away from the back of my throat next time!
* alt.foot.fat-free - home of toefoodies