Subject: At Your Own Risk
Date: 26 Sep 1998 00:00:00 GMT
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Mumthra)
Organization: MotPU: Where Binary Moodswings are ALWAYS on the Menu
Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free, alt.slack
The last time I told this story, something bad happened--something
that soon had me mopping the ceiling in my kitchen. Well, now that I
think it over, mopping the ceiling was kind of cool as long as I
imagined that I was standing on the ceiling while mopping the floor.
It was something like fly housekeeping might be, if they cared about
swabbing at things, but I'm not quick like a fly and I got Mr. Clean
in my eye and I don't have hundreds of spares. So, yeah, on the whole
it was a bad thing.
This is what I was talking about when Sparky's lunch box EXPLODED: my
mother is on vacation in Florida. I thought that the only remarkable
thing about her trip was going to be that she flew in a real plane to
get there, but she's had lots more fun and sunny excitement beyond
that. After the first day, she had to scoot off the beach and pack up
her things to abide by the mandatory evacuation from the Gulf coast in
honor of the hurricane. Now that's no big surprise, it's the season,
and it's still less hassle than the time we were down there when they
had an enormous oil spill.
She obediently moved herself and her luggage to my sister's little
house, and everyone agreed that this would make for a cozier visit.
The second night of the big pajama party, my sister awakened to a sort
of cat attack. The cat isn't supposed to be in at night for this very
reason, so she was orienting and wondering how the cat had managed it
when she saw a man bolting out of her back door. 9-1-1!!! WHOOP!!!
WHOOP!!! The burglar got away clean with her purse and the cat isn't
At this point in my little story. A big woofing bang sounded and most
of the kitchen and I were splattered with forgotten, fermenting orange
juice that had sufficient explosive power to burst free of a latched
metal "Planet of the Monster Women" lunch box.
Please let me know if this post causes any further damage.
Emancipate a comma! Evict mental ergonomics!