Subject: The Progress of All Good Consumption
Date: 19 Oct 1996 00:00:00 GMT
From: 1Ol01O@radix.net (MegaLiz)
Organization: MotPU: Where Binary Moodswings are ALWAYS on the Menu
Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free, alt.slack
1. I supposed. Yes, that is the technical term I do believe. A
simple preparatory first step on the way to experiencing greater
medical marvels at our finest local institution. Johns Hopkins would
be an extremely proud guy, if only he weren't quite so dead.
2. I reposed (and you could even say I glozed). Slower than any
gargantuan space vehicle crawling over a film horizon, I watched a
sort of suspended xerox inch its way across my entire field of vision.
It was performing nothing so useful as a human duplication, however,
and it did this until I couldn't feel my limbs and had faithfully
remained motionless AND flawlessly hummed "The Queen of the Silver
Dollar" 29 times.
3. I nearly dozed. Although it soon became MUCH more interesting.
Blinking my way back to the world of people who are permitted to
scratch and cough without second thought, the nice man asked me, "Have
you avoided your vowels?"
"Mmm. Don't think so," I said. Then, reconsidering and examining my
statement, I had to wonder. I counted: that was three vowels in four
words. Maybe he had something there, another symptom? "I haven't made
a point of it, or anything. After all, they are free in real life." He
stared. The other two freshly scrubbed and moussed techs blinked at
the surprise of being surprised.
Then realization clapped: these nice people wanted me to take a
shit, to VOID my BOWELS. Ha! "Why didn't ya say so in the first
place!" Thinking of JAYNER of all things, I wandered down the hall.
Naturally, after that the pictures came back clear. Everyone was
very happy AND I got to keep a roomful of nice pinks in suspense
whilst I performed radioactive excremeditation. The dignity of the
yeti at such a time is an absurdly beautiful thing. That is to say
that once again, I laughed like a maniac.
4. Now I have composed. I know I'm off, maybe even a tad
unpossessed, but I'm on the way back. The purifications may at last be
nearly complete. The whatsitness may have been achieved so that I may
proceed to the unclear purpose of it. Or not.
5. It was enclosed. I may just FROP TIL I DROP instead. Who needs
more purpose than THAT on a Friday night? HAHAHAHAHHAAH.
* Asterisk of sounding serious, I may prefer to remain mysterious.
Fat-free Feet: Not just a tasty breakfast treat.
Want to read about the S.P.E.R.M.? Leave a message with my firm.
If most of this is clear to you, know then what you must not do.