Subject: The Progress of All Good Consumption

Date: 19 Oct 1996 00:00:00 GMT

From: 1Ol01O@radix.net (MegaLiz)

Organization: MotPU: Where Binary Moodswings are ALWAYS on the Menu

Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free, alt.slack

 

 

1. I supposed. Yes, that is the technical term I do believe. A

simple preparatory first step on the way to experiencing greater

medical marvels at our finest local institution. Johns Hopkins would

be an extremely proud guy, if only he weren't quite so dead.

 

2. I reposed (and you could even say I glozed). Slower than any

gargantuan space vehicle crawling over a film horizon, I watched a

sort of suspended xerox inch its way across my entire field of vision.

It was performing nothing so useful as a human duplication, however,

and it did this until I couldn't feel my limbs and had faithfully

remained motionless AND flawlessly hummed "The Queen of the Silver

Dollar" 29 times.

 

3. I nearly dozed. Although it soon became MUCH more interesting.

Blinking my way back to the world of people who are permitted to

scratch and cough without second thought, the nice man asked me, "Have

you avoided your vowels?"

 

"Mmm. Don't think so," I said. Then, reconsidering and examining my

statement, I had to wonder. I counted: that was three vowels in four

words. Maybe he had something there, another symptom? "I haven't made

a point of it, or anything. After all, they are free in real life." He

stared. The other two freshly scrubbed and moussed techs blinked at

the surprise of being surprised.

 

Then realization clapped: these nice people wanted me to take a

shit, to VOID my BOWELS. Ha! "Why didn't ya say so in the first

place!" Thinking of JAYNER of all things, I wandered down the hall.

 

Naturally, after that the pictures came back clear. Everyone was

very happy AND I got to keep a roomful of nice pinks in suspense

whilst I performed radioactive excremeditation. The dignity of the

yeti at such a time is an absurdly beautiful thing. That is to say

that once again, I laughed like a maniac.

 

4. Now I have composed. I know I'm off, maybe even a tad

unpossessed, but I'm on the way back. The purifications may at last be

nearly complete. The whatsitness may have been achieved so that I may

proceed to the unclear purpose of it. Or not.

 

5. It was enclosed. I may just FROP TIL I DROP instead. Who needs

more purpose than THAT on a Friday night? HAHAHAHAHHAAH.

 

HA.

 

 

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