Subject: Got a question?

Date: 08 Sep 1997 00:00:00 GMT

From: nospamum@radix.net (MegaLiz)

Organization: MotPU: Where Binary Moodswings are ALWAYS on the Menu

Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free, alt.slack
 
 
 
 

At the MotPU, we are now offering a BRAND NEW ORACLE service to all

confused yeti, young and old alike!
 
 

All you need to do is submit your question, in the form of a question,

and I will pass it along to The Millionth Spunky and her Remaining

Scrabble Tiles.
 
 

Just today, with no assistance from those who can actually spell, she

answered the following questions (with a slight delay):
 
 

- What should we make for lunch? Answer: YENTAS
 
 

- Where did you put your shorts? Answer: DOGBONER
 
 

While many of her communications are in Spunkese (e.g. YIACSRF), the

English bits could provide much needed clarification for the muddled

among us. I'm pretty sure.
 
 

Trust The Millionth Spunky!!
 
 

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Don't expect any more free squirrel brains from me, neither."
 

Subject: Re: Got a question?

Date: 08 Sep 1997 00:00:00 GMT

From: eguy@mindspring.com (Eric Guy)

Organization: MindSpring Enterprises

Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free, alt.slack

References: 1
 
 
 
 

On Mon, 08 Sep 1997 18:33:07 GMT, nospamum@radix.net (MegaLiz) wrote:
 
 

>

>At the MotPU, we are now offering a BRAND NEW ORACLE service to all

>confused yeti, young and old alike!

>

>All you need to do is submit your question, in the form of a question,

>and I will pass it along to The Millionth Spunky and her Remaining

>Scrabble Tiles.
 
 

Dear Munificent Magnificent Millionth Spunky,
 
 

How do I go about getting the voices out?
 
 

P.S.
 

Thanks for the squirl brainz!
 
 
 

Subject: Re: Got a question?

Date: 09 Sep 1997 00:00:00 GMT

From: nospamum@radix.net (MegaLiz)

Organization: MotPU: Where Binary Moodswings are ALWAYS on the Menu

Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free, alt.slack

References: 1 , 2
 
 
 
 

eguy@mindspring.com (Eric Guy) wrote:
 
 

: On Mon, 08 Sep 1997 18:33:07 GMT, nospamum@radix.net (MegaLiz) wrote:

: >All you need to do is submit your question, in the form of a question,

: >and I will pass it along to The Millionth Spunky and her Remaining

: >Scrabble Tiles.

:

: Dear Munificent Magnificent Millionth Spunky,

:

: How do I go about getting the voices out?
 
 

The 1,000,00th Spunky sez: GRIP LAD.
 
 

Clear enough?
 
 

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Don't expect any more free squirrel brains from me, neither."
 

Subject: Re: Got a question?

Date: 09 Sep 1997 00:00:00 GMT

From: eguy@mindspring.com (Eric Guy)

Organization: MindSpring Enterprises

Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free, alt.slack

References: 1 , 2 , 3
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

On Tue, 09 Sep 1997 17:18:54 GMT, nospamum@radix.net (MegaLiz) wrote:
 
 

>eguy@mindspring.com (Eric Guy) wrote:

>

>: On Mon, 08 Sep 1997 18:33:07 GMT, nospamum@radix.net (MegaLiz) wrote:

>: >All you need to do is submit your question, in the form of a question,

>: >and I will pass it along to The Millionth Spunky and her Remaining

>: >Scrabble Tiles.

>:

>: Dear Munificent Magnificent Millionth Spunky,

>:

>: How do I go about getting the voices out?

>

>The 1,000,00th Spunky sez: GRIP LAD.

>

>Clear enough?
 
 

Just a minute...
 
 

*OUCH*... Jeezus Fricking Christ, that *HURTS*. Shit, I shoulda put down

the channel locks before trying that...
 
 

Hey, whadda ya know. It Works!
 
 

Thank yew Munificent Magnificent Millionth Spunky.
 
 

Another satisfied customer.

>

>--------------------------------------------------------------

>"Don't expect any more free squirrel brains from me, neither."
 
 

Subject: Re: Got a question?

Date: 15 Sep 1997 00:00:00 GMT

From: jheikkil@highlander.cbnet.ns.ca.NOSPAM (abvhiael stuart)

Organization: Nova Scotia Technology Network

Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free, alt.slack

References: 1 , 2
 
 
 
 

>On Mon, 08 Sep 1997 18:33:07 GMT, nospamum@radix.net (MegaLiz) wrote:

>

>>

>>At the MotPU, we are now offering a BRAND NEW ORACLE service to all

>>confused yeti, young and old alike!

>>

>>All you need to do is submit your question, in the form of a question,

>>and I will pass it along to The Millionth Spunky and her Remaining

>>Scrabble Tiles.

>

Dear Munificent Magnificent Millionth Spunky,

Pray tell, where did I put that little bagie of wheelchair weed last

week?

Muchos Gracias

St-Bubba
 
 

Subject: Re: Got a question?

Date: 19 Sep 1997 00:00:00 GMT

From: nospamum@radix.net (MegaLiz)

Organization: MotPU: Where Binary Moodswings are ALWAYS on the Menu

Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free, alt.slack

References: 1 , 2 , 3
 
 
 

jheikkil@highlander.cbnet.ns.ca.NOSPAM (abvhiael stuart) wrote:
 
 

: >>All you need to do is submit your question, in the form of a question,

: >>and I will pass it along to The Millionth Spunky and her Remaining

: >>Scrabble Tiles.

: >

: Dear Munificent Magnificent Millionth Spunky,

: Pray tell, where did I put that little bagie of wheelchair weed last

: week?
 
 

The Spunky One is well please with this question and says:
 
 

OINK WEDGE POT
 
 

Clearly is in nearby or in something that fits this description. Do

you have pigs? Do you hide things in swine?
 
 

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Don't expect any more free squirrel brains from me, neither."
 
 

Subject: Re: Got a question?

Date: 09 Sep 1997 00:00:00 GMT

From: iceknife@lanminds.com (ICEKNIFE)

Organization: LanMinds, Inc. (Not Responsible for Content)

Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free, alt.slack

References: 1
 
 

nospamum@radix.net (MegaLiz) wrote:
 
 
 
 

>At the MotPU, we are now offering a BRAND NEW ORACLE service to all

>confused yeti, young and old alike!
 
 

>All you need to do is submit your question, in the form of a question,

>and I will pass it along to The Millionth Spunky and her Remaining

>Scrabble Tiles.
 
 
 
 

MEG! Stop exploiting the child for free!
 
 

There should be MONEY involved!

Do you think Nostrildamus sat around reading buttsweat prints and

smoking white minnows for FREE? FUCK NO, ya had to give him a WHOLE

FRESH ERMINE SPLEEN just to have him tell you that eventually you'd

die!
 
 

The Oracle at Delphi charged several chickens and a big gulp to tell

you the current weather! GET MONEY FOR THIS!
 
 

Can't you fucking do ANYTHING right???
 
 

Subject: Re: Got a question?

Date: 14 Sep 1997 00:00:00 GMT

From: nospamum@radix.net (MegaLiz)

Organization: MotPU: Where Binary Moodswings are ALWAYS on the Menu

Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free, alt.slack

References: 1 , 2
 
 
 

iceknife@lanminds.com (ICEKNIFE) wrote:
 
 

: MEG! Stop exploiting the child for free!

:

: There should be MONEY involved!

: Do you think Nostrildamus sat around reading buttsweat prints and

: smoking white minnows for FREE? FUCK NO, ya had to give him a WHOLE

: FRESH ERMINE SPLEEN just to have him tell you that eventually you'd

: die!

:

: The Oracle at Delphi charged several chickens and a big gulp to tell

: you the current weather! GET MONEY FOR THIS!

:

: Can't you fucking do ANYTHING right???
 
 

What's more IT'S HARD. Half the time, I can't even pursuade her to

stop swallowing the messages. Poop prophecies may follow.
 
 

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Don't expect any more free squirrel brains from me, neither."
 
 

Subject: Re: Got a question?

Date: 17 Sep 1997 00:00:00 GMT

From: mtownOsPAMend@earthlink.net (Michael Townsend)

Organization: Dad's New Slacks

Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free, alt.slack

References: 1 , 2 , 3 , 4
 
 
 

nospamum@radix.net (MegaLiz) wrote:
 
 

> :IT'S HARD. Half the time, I can't even pursuade her to

> :stop swallowing the messages. Poop prophecies may follow.
 
 

so have all these jokers with their WASTEFUL questions used up the oracle

before I've had a chance? can you give it a shot? I've got an important

question:
 
 

What the hell am I doing back here?
 
 

--

mtownsend@earthlink.net po box 4722 portland me 04112-4722

"I don't blame them for being inferior...

but I do blame them for not admitting it!"
 
 

Subject: Re: Got a question?

Date: 19 Sep 1997 00:00:00 GMT

From: nospamum@radix.net (MegaLiz)

Organization: MotPU: Where Binary Moodswings are ALWAYS on the Menu

Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free, alt.slack

References: 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5
 
 

mtownOsPAMend@earthlink.net (Michael Townsend) wrote:
 
 

: so have all these jokers with their WASTEFUL questions used up the oracle

: before I've had a chance? can you give it a shot? I've got an important

: question:

:

: What the hell am I doing back here?
 
 

This Magnificent Millionth Spunky response was a near, near thing BUT

I got it:
 
 

KWEER ROCK TOLS
 
 

Ask not for whom the queer rock tolls. No, really, just DON'T ASK.
 
 

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Don't expect any more free squirrel brains from me, neither."
 
 

Subject: Re: Got a question?

Date: 09 Sep 1997 00:00:00 GMT

From: nospamum@radix.net (MegaLiz)

Organization: MotPU: Where Binary Moodswings are ALWAYS on the Menu

Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free, alt.slack

References: 1
 
 
 

Pete Hipwell writes:
 
 

>>All you need to do is submit your question, in the form of a question,

>>and I will pass it along to The Millionth Spunky and her Remaining

>>Scrabble Tiles.
 
 

>Nos smattre elphabant, het kankerzooi, met lepfreink as bod een

>hopmania "Rockford-Files-aholic" meik liek een firinghi portillo, e

>"nuke", sif swedgeoop don "deprogramming"?
 
 

Now, I can't pretend to fully understand the question, so I will

transmit the full racks as channeled by Spunky:
 
 

CUT SNIXEY ID - TITILLOG
 
 

You know what to do.
 
 

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Don't expect any more free squirrel brains from me, neither."
 
 

Subject: Re: Got a question?

Date: 10 Sep 1997 00:00:00 GMT

From: !!!bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar)

Organization: Little Sisters of the Perpetually Juicy

Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free, alt.slack

References: 1
 
 
 

nospamum@radix.net (MegaLiz) wrote:
 
 

>At the MotPU, we are now offering a BRAND NEW ORACLE service to all

>confused yeti, young and old alike!
 
 

>All you need to do is submit your question, in the form of a question,

>and I will pass it along to The Millionth Spunky and her Remaining

>Scrabble Tiles.
 
 

Dear Millionth Spunky, no one has ever been able to answer this

question adequately for me. I hope you will be able to break through

into the higher realms and find the answer:
 
 

If a chicken and a half, lays an egg and a half, how long will it take

a grasshopper with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds out of a dill

pickle?
 
 
 
 

Thanks,

Tarla

*** Reverend Mutha Tarla Star***

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, it is by the

beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire

shaking, the shaking becomes a warning, it is by caffeine

alone I set my mind in motion.--HToMC

//www.ionet.net/~bmyers/homepage.html
 
 

Subject: Re: Got a question?

Date: 14 Sep 1997 00:00:00 GMT

From: nospamum@radix.net (MegaLiz)

Organization: MotPU: Where Binary Moodswings are ALWAYS on the Menu

Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free, alt.slack

References: 1 , 2
 
 
 

!!!bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar) wrote:
 
 

: Dear Millionth Spunky, no one has ever been able to answer this

: question adequately for me. I hope you will be able to break through

: into the higher realms and find the answer:

:

: If a chicken and a half, lays an egg and a half, how long will it take

: a grasshopper with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds out of a dill

: pickle?
 
 

Her Spunkiness sez:
 
 

TEXAN DOG ERA
 
 

That would be as long as it takes, times seven, wearing a large hat.

I'm pretty sure.
 
 

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Don't expect any more free squirrel brains from me, neither."
 
 

Subject: Re: Got a question?

Date: 09 Sep 1997 00:00:00 GMT

From:nospamum@radix.net (MegaLiz)

Organization: MotPU: Where Binary Moodswings are ALWAYS on the Menu

Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free, alt.slack

References: 1 , 2
 
 

cuthulu@prysm.net (Ferris Fremont) wrote:
 
 

: My question for The Millionth Spunky, whom I trust completely:

:

: When will the money get here?
 
 

The Spunky says: LIEN SOAR
 
 

Presumably, you haven't taken out that SECOND mortgage on Dyna yet, so

DO IT NOW.
 
 

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Don't expect any more free squirrel brains from me, neither."
 
 

Subject: Re: Got a question?

Date: 10 Sep 1997 00:00:00 GMT

From: nospamum@radix.net (MegaLiz)

Organization: MotPU: Where Binary Moodswings are ALWAYS on the Menu

Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free, alt.slack

References: 1 , 2 , 3 , 4
 
 

cuthulu@prysm.net (Palmer Eldritch) wrote:
 
 

: Thank you, Oh Great The Millionth Spunky. This was just the answer I needed.

: My plans for Bumfuck, Virginny, move apace. Another question, please, your

: munificence:

:

: Do I feel like chicken tonight?
 
 

I'm not sure she understood the question. After much repetitive

mucking about, which never included a "yes" or "no", The Millionth

Spunky Sez:
 
 

RRRRRRREPTITHES
 
 

I speculate that she directs you to feel like a tenth of an alligator

instead, but you may divine the more PERSONAL meaning intended just

for you and your chicken feelings.
 
 

Note: Somebody asked SOMETHING that caused Spunky to go all

misspelling and mystical and come out with, "GOD OAR: VENUL RIGGLER."

It sure is creepy when she uses all her Gs like that.
 
 

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Don't expect any more free squirrel brains from me, neither."
 
 

Subject: Re: Got a question?

Date: 11 Sep 1997 00:00:00 GMT

From: TheCharlie <charliec@cybernex.net>

Organization: None. None at all. Got a problem with that?

Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free, alt.slack

References: 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5
 
 

MegaLiz wrote:
 
 

> Note: Somebody asked SOMETHING that caused Spunky to go all

> misspelling and mystical and come out with, "GOD OAR: VENUL RIGGLER."
 
 

Must have been me.
 
 

I could swear that my neighbor has some sort of parasite in his body. I can sometimes

see it moving under his skin and it weirds me out. mostly it is in his veins.

(venule wriggler?)
 
 

I took Spunky's advice and smashed him all over with the biggest, most hugest oar I could find.

I don't see ANY movement anymore.
 
 

Thanks, Spunky!
 
 

Subject: Re: Got a question?

Date: 14 Sep 1997 00:00:00 GMT

From: nospamum@radix.net (MegaLiz)

Organization: MotPU: Where Binary Moodswings are ALWAYS on the Menu

Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free, alt.slack

References: 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6
 
 

TheCharlie <charliec@cybernex.net> wrote:
 
 

: MegaLiz wrote:

:

: > Note: Somebody asked SOMETHING that caused Spunky to go all

: > misspelling and mystical and come out with, "GOD OAR: VENUL RIGGLER."

:

: Must have been me.

:

: I could swear that my neighbor has some sort of parasite in his body. I can sometimes

: see it moving under his skin and it weirds me out. mostly it is in his veins.

: (venule wriggler?)

:

: I took Spunky's advice and smashed him all over with the biggest, most hugest oar I could find.

: I don't see ANY movement anymore.

:

: Thanks, Spunky!
 
 

That's BRILLIANT! I was thinking of "venal wriggler," but that would

mean that you'd have to BRIBE them first or something. Your way is

MUCH cheaper.
 
 

Also, presumably for Modemac, Spunky Spake: GREYANG.
 
 

I don't know if we can keep this up. This just gives me gooseybumps.
 
 

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Don't expect any more free squirrel brains from me, neither."
 
 

Subject: Re: Got a question?

Date: 14 Sep 1997 00:00:00 GMT

From: nospamum@radix.net (MegaLiz)

Organization: MotPU: Where Binary Moodswings are ALWAYS on the Menu

Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free, alt.slack

References: 1 , 2
 
 
 

Sketchy Albedo <revjack@radix.net> wrote:
 
 

: Dear Spunky,

:

: Will my 6-week sperm sample be positive or negative?
 
 

Her Incredible Seeing Spunknification sez:
 
 

STONE NITS
 
 

This would appear to imply the negative, unless you can locate some

STONE NITS; however, I believe that it's intended in the ACTION sense,

so that you are directed to STONE your NITS, that is, pound your scalp

with heavy rocks. That way, whatever the condition of your sperm, they

will do no harm since you won't remember what they're FOR. But I'm

just GUESSING you understand.
 
 

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Don't expect any more free squirrel brains from me, neither."
 
 

Subject: Re: Got a question?

Date: 15 Sep 1997 00:00:00 GMT

From: barbara@.bookpro.com

Organization: Who Wants to Know?

Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free, alt.slack

References: 1 , 2 , 3
 
 
 
 

nospamum@radix.net (MegaLiz) wrote:
 
 

>Sketchy Albedo <revjack@radix.net> wrote:
 
 

>: Will my 6-week sperm sample be positive or negative?
 
 

>Her Incredible Seeing Spunknification sez:

>

> STONE NITS

>

>This would appear to imply the negative, unless you can locate some

>STONE NITS; however, I believe that it's intended in the ACTION sense,

>so that you are directed to STONE your NITS, that is, pound your scalp

>with heavy rocks. That way, whatever the condition of your sperm, they

>will do no harm since you won't remember what they're FOR. But I'm

>just GUESSING you understand.
 
 

Could it not mean that there will still be some of those little guys

(nits) in his stones?
 
 

Interpreting oracles can be a tricky business, no?
 
 

BW
 
 

Subject: Re: Got a question?

Date: 16 Sep 1997 00:00:00 GMT

From: nospamum@radix.net (MegaLiz)

Organization: MotPU: Where Binary Moodswings are ALWAYS on the Menu

Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free, alt.slack

References: 1 , 2 , 3 , 4
 
 
 

barbara@.bookpro.com wrote:
 
 

: >This would appear to imply the negative, unless you can locate some

: >STONE NITS; however, I believe that it's intended in the ACTION sense,

: >so that you are directed to STONE your NITS, that is, pound your scalp

: >with heavy rocks. That way, whatever the condition of your sperm, they

: >will do no harm since you won't remember what they're FOR. But I'm

: >just GUESSING you understand.

:

: Could it not mean that there will still be some of those little guys

: (nits) in his stones?

:

: Interpreting oracles can be a tricky business, no?
 
 

YIKES! You make an awfully good point there. This is not as clear as

Crystal Methodists*. Maybe we should resubmit.
 
 
 
 
 
 

*I haven't stopped chuckling about that band YET.
 
 

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Don't expect any more free squirrel brains from me, neither."
 
 

Subject: Re: Got a question?

Date: 14 Sep 1997 00:00:00 GMT

From: nospamum@radix.net (MegaLiz)

Organization: MotPU: Where Binary Moodswings are ALWAYS on the Menu

Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free, alt.slack

References: 1 , 2 , 3 , 4
 
 

DynaSoar@@YGRI.net (Doktor DynaSoar Iridium) wrote:
 
 

: Dear Hunky Dory Mizzillionth Spunky,

:

: If you're flying a bus in Lake Erie, and three of both your tires blow

: out, how can you steer a cow?

:

: (PS, please hurry).
 
 

Sorry, the Spunkstress could not be swayed to give this one prompt

attention. She is very full of herself recently, and expects me to

bake her a cookie for every word, even hopeless ones like: NAPELMOW.
 
 

For this question - how to steer a cow - she has spake thusly:
 
 

SAY MEDPIE
 
 

Apparently, this is the sekret cow code that will either allow you to

point the cow or transgenderize it, depending on what you're after.
 
 

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Don't expect any more free squirrel brains from me, neither."