Subject: LITTLE-KNOWN FACTS ABOUT ODELLS
Date: 24 Jun 1996 00:00:00 GMT
From: email@example.com (MegEliz)
Organization: Gene Wolfe Library and Family Restaurant, East Wing
Newsgroups: alt.slack, alt.fan.ronald-reagan
LITTLE-KNOWN FACTS ABOUT ODELLS
Odells and moles (shrews, voles, et.al.) belong in the ecological
chain, but if you are like most of us, you would sooner they "earn
their living" in a place other than your yard or newsgroup.
Typically, a mole creates "surface" tunnels when it is foraging,
whereas the odell will push up mounds in your newsgroup in an annoying
and repetative way.
If you have suffered the ravages of any of these critters you know
they are not exactly stupid, they sense danger and they learn.
When suiting up to go to war with these little adversaries it is wise
to arm yourself with as much information about the enemy as possible
or you too may find yourself developing obsessive behavior (like
sitting up until three or four a.m. with a shotgun waiting for them).
From various studies, we have learned their populations seem to
explode in seven year cycles. It is common to find litters of 12
young. Born to dig, they have teeth at infancy.
Weaning from the nest happens early on - usually within a month.
Having to eat their own body weight daily, they will eat/dig their way
to a piece of ground they can claim as home. Once established, it
will take up its solitary life, caught in its insatiable rounds of
digging and eating, crying and typing.
It is not my wish to be the bearer of ill tidings, but the damage you
see is just the tip of the iceberg. Miles of tunnels are dug at the
2- to 4-foot level deep in the earth and dozens of newsgroups may be
infested at any one time. Many uninformed people believe odells
"hibernate" in the winter. Having to eat their own body weight daily,
their metabolism will not allow them to store fat. As the surface of
the ground gets cold, their food source goes deeper -- so does the
odell. In the spring, you think "Oh no, they're back" when the truth
is..., they never left.
Perhaps you are one of those who "trapped" or "baited" and you were
sure you'd gotten him. Have you ever wondered why it wasn't long
before you had another to deal with?
Odells and regular republicans will "share" tunnels, but no two will
live together. They are ferocious about defending their territory.
Imagine an ever-growing population (as many as 12 per litter) with
each needing to find its own feeding ground.
Are you completely depressed? Wait! Be of good cheer! "Odellchaser"
is a long-term, cost-effective solution to the problem and this is
why. Remember the first time you burned your hand on a red hot
anything? You didn't do that again because you realized through pain
that was a bad experience. You've been "conditioned".
Introduce a frequency of sound into the "domain" of a odell that can
evoke a physical response (like humans hearing clawing fingernails
down a blackboard) and you will soon get a response.
Let's take you or I..., we're reading usenet quietly at home, when
suddenly a screeching sound begins. Chances are you will try to track
down the noise and fix it. Just as that is predictable behavior for
us, so it is for the odell. It won't be long before it tries to
discover the irritating sound and see if it can be eliminated. He'll
put up a mighty fight -- sometimes lasting between one and two weeks,
but finally, exhausted, he realizes he cannot co-exist with the
relentless screech of the Odellchaser -- he gives up and moves on to
more peaceful surroundings..., but, where does he go if not right into
his neighbor's "domain". If he is stronger he will drive out his
neighbor and where does the new odell go? Could this new "untrained"
critter find his way into the area of the Odellchasers "domain". Of
course. Will he become conditioned like his predecessor? Of course.
Will he leave? Bet on it!
And better yet, every time an odell becomes "trained," it will not
return to the "screeching" area. Before you know it, an extraordinary
thing takes place: your yard or newsgroup will be clear of these
pests. The "conditioned" odell will take up residence at the outer
perimeter of the Odellchaser's range... and then become a "defender"
of your reclaimed area! You might think "How can that be?" The
answer's very simple -- they are territorial. Like sentries, they
will ward off any new "untrained" intruder.
By now, you can understand why we need to approach this long-term
problem with a long-term solution. If you'll exercise a little
patience, I assure you, Odellchaser is the long-term answer.
Incidentally, Odellchaser is patented in several countries (including
the U.S.) for its extremely durable canister style and its irritating
frequency. It will not disturb household pets.
Once you install the Odellchaser properly, we can guarantee it will
clear the area its sound can reach.
A parting thought; if odells live solitary lives -- how do they mate?
Answer; Mother nature graced odells with especially acute hearing and
sensitivity to vibration (which Odellchaser exploits). When the
female comes into "season" she begins to "thump" a "sensual" message
in her tunnel. The male often deciphers the message and meets her for
the purpose of mating. Business concluded, they return to their
respective domains where the female re-counts her fee and births her
Hopefully we've helped better educate you about the problem you face
and why you must gird yourself for the long run. Odellchaser is the
solution. With thousands sold and a 99% success rate, we're so sure
we sell the product with a satisfaction money back guarantee.
My sig is not under construction. It's dead. firstname.lastname@example.org
But MY NEWSGROUP alt.foot.fat-free LIVES!
Hear the pitter-patter! Thrill to the podiatry! While it lasts!