Subject: "ORTHODONTIST, Brace thyself"

Date: 18 Feb 1997 00:00:00 GMT

From: (MegaLiz)

Organization: MotPU: Where Binary Moodswings are ALWAYS on the Menu

Newsgroups: alt.slack

References: 1 , 2 , 3 , 4





steveaOI!SPAMMERS!NO! (Steve A) wrote:


: Been there, done that. The weirdest thing for me was that the

: consultant orthodontist that I had was a woman whose own teeth looked

: like a graveyard would after a truck has just driven through it.




Thankee, Steve, this really cheered me up. What could have possibly

been worse than my orthodontist, would have been my orthoboy in

Britland. He fouled up so utterly, that he even offered to do me OVER

for free. He was ashamed. Everything snapped right back to where it

was originally by the second Wednesday after the bands were removed.

Of course he tried to blame it on my FACE, saying that it grew in an

"unexpected direction." Apparently all would have been well, if only

I'd acquired a nice sturdy lantern jaw and neanderthal brow to match.

How on EARTH was he supposed to know?

: I remember thinking "Orthodontist, brace thyself" (no, not a form of

: Antipodean foreplay) when I first saw her. My second thought was what

: a lousy bit of advertising it was.


: I didn't get as far as having the wisdoms out, because after two and a

: half years of utter agony, fixed braces, removable braces, fixed AND

: removable braces, face bows (the fuckers seriously thought that I, at

: 16, was going to WEAR this fucker to SCHOOL, but I beat the CON and

: LIED. No-one ever said anything), and about 42 different sizes of

: rubber bands, including stuff that looked like Mack truck (what IS it

: with me and trux today?) fanbelts, I decided I'd had enough of dental

: surgery, and I never went back. I had a 5mm overbite. Now I have a 3mm

: overbite and a feeling that it was all a waste of time, money and two

: and a half years of my life which should have been spent getting my

: tongue round as many female teenage tonsils as possible, as opposed to

: the actual state of affairs which was two and a half years spent

: feeling like I was the last bastion of the British shipbuilding

: industry.


: Big bummer. Unless my kids' teeth are growing out of their ears, I'm

: sorely tempted to hold off on any orthodontic work.


: Incidentally, the consultant who was doing my sister's teeth wanted to

: break her jaw and bring it forward. It was only after a little

: investigating that it turned out he was presenting a symposium on this

: type of surgery. Nice. Remember, here, it's free.


: --

: Past Grand Provincial Pipebearer Of The First Holy Masonic Order Of "Bob",

: "Semper Fumare" Lodge, No 6,342, United SubGenius Lodge of England.



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