Subject: Radio Shack Advises Against Army Assault

Date: 02 Apr 1997 00:00:00 GMT

From: (MegaLiz)

Organization: MotPU: Where Binary Moodswings are ALWAYS on the Menu

Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free, alt.slack






I've got this phone, see. It's a "cordless," although it has developed

an invisible cord within the last month. I can't leave the phone base

without an earful of static punishment and possible disconnection.


I haven't bothered to get it repaired because, in truth, I LIKE it

like this. I wouldn't get to put callers on hold anymore, otherwise,

AND if I am experiencing an annoying call that I want to disconnect or

disrupt with the utmost innocence, all I have to do is WALK AWAY and

yell, "WHAT?!? SORRY?!?? You are offering EXHUMED LONG DISTANCE

DATES??!? WHAT???!?" And so on.


Just because it was convenient, however, today I checked with Radio

Shack about the phone troubles. The harried counterboy didn't think it

was a failing battery. When I pointed out that I live across the road

from an Army installation, he nodded vaguely in agreement that THEY

could be the source of my trouble. "You need more channels," suggested



"Can you change my phone?" I asked.


"No," countered counterboy.


"I guess I'll have to go complain to the ARMY, then."


With utter sincerity, counterboy replied that, "I don't think they'll

change THEIR channels, ma'am."


Now I just HAVE TO do it. Stay tuned to this channel for updates.....



* Asterisk of sounding serious, I may prefer to remain mysterious.

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