Subject: Sparky: Queen of the First-grade Fringe

Date: 02 Sep 1997 00:00:00 GMT

From: (MegaLiz)

Organization: MotPU: Where Binary Moodswings are ALWAYS on the Menu

Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free






I've already detailed the hazards of following Sparky into new situations,

so you might expect that this morning's mission was particularly dangerous.

You'd might expect to be WRONG then. She didn't even register on the

voltage meter before school, even though it's the first day in an alien



I was pretty well charged, however. We had been to the orientation thingy,

where Sparky refused to stake out her desk in the all-girl section;

instead, she put her mark on a mystery grouping of desks, where all the

kids who were missing orientation would presumably materialize later. This

has made things extry interesting.


With the disclaimer that I am NOT a reflexive snob, I have to dutifully

report that most of the other mothers were just AWFUL. They would rather

talk ABOUT the kids than talk TO them, a practice that I avoid

purposefully. In the space of a few moments, I was informed that we had the

class with "the best girls" and that we had one of the "troubled boys."

Guess where little Troubled Gus was sitting. Right. Next to Sparky. (The

really peculiar thing is the OTHER kid. The already appointed Captain of

the Class has a remarkably similar name to our girl. Let's call her

SparkLee. Her last name is, in actual fact, Dobbs).


I have to admit to a moment of Pink Terror when Gus's status was explained

to me. "What exactly did he do?" I inquired. It seems that last year, Gus

liked to talk to himself, sometimes argue with himself, and occasionally

ended up hitting himself. FEH. He's only SIX. I plan on giving Gus an extra

cookie whenever I can. (I don't know why I expected a valid reason for him

to be the designated WEIRDO - in my first grade our weirdo wasn't even

weird, he was just a Jew).


One has to wonder why the FIRST DAY has to reek of DESTINY. Well, *I* had

to wonder. I was soaking in it for hours. By the time I left there, I had

accomplished some real work, had unobtrusively defended little Gus (who was

behaving JUST FINE), saw Sparky launched without tears or spontaneous

combustion, and had a chance to observe the viral effect of SparkLee, which

is, so far, benign. Now SHE makes me nervous.




"Don't expect any more free squirrel brains from me, neither."