Subject: Spunky on Film
Date: 04 May 1996 00:00:00 GMT
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (MegEliz)
Organization: Gene Wolfe Library and Family Restaurant, East Wing
I had to make her promise to cooperate while I whipped off her diaper
in the parking lot, and since that bit of high level bargaining worked
out, I just knew it was going to be a good shoot.
The studio was pretty interesting. There were lots of busy people who
seemed to have no idea or care about who we were and there was a
helluva lot of food. I think I'll go back by there next week sometime
and just pretend I have something to do and get fed.
I would have liked to have taken some time to absorb more of the
surroundings and cool machines, but I had to keep busy making sure
that Spunky didn't chew through any vital power cords or generate any
other cute nuisances. We were ushered onto the set, which was a dark
and crowded obstacle course, with a lovely, peaceful kitchen in the
middle. Spunky met her new mommy, who would cherish her for about 30
seconds, again and again. Spunky's new mommy didn't know squat about
kids, so after asking her how old she is (which babies NEVER answer,
since they don't KNOW and they don't care even a teensy bit) she
talked to me ABOUT her, which is a sure way not to endear oneself to a
terror tot. Oh well. Then the nice makeup lady took us to the powder
room. Spunky didn't like the nice lady and preferred to put makeup on
me while the nice lady doggedly smoothed and resmoothed Spunky's spiky
hair. After these ministrations, Spunky was feeling pretty good about
getting out of the powder room, so we installed her in the set.
Initially, she was antsy when she couldn't see me, but all that
changed when they brought in the food. HA! They didn't know that
eating is her very best trick. She eats like a person who's just
washed up to the last hot buffet before X-day. She ate and ate and
cooed and gobbled and strained to reach the rest of the food. She was
brilliant! The director kept saying, "Hurry up folks, we have a happy
baby!" as the various busy people fussed and arranged and boinged off
of each other without actually touching.
Suddenly, everything was ready. Spunky had the banana. This looked
like THE MOMENT. Then somebody said, "SMOKE!" My hand clapped
reflexively to my pocket. Then I realized that they weren't talking to
me as a guy materialized with a thing that sprayed a smoke-like
substance and another guy waved a thing that looked like a big furnace
filter behind the first guy.
After five takes we were done. Spunky's new mommy rushed off without
even a kiss goodbye and we ate some more of the food.
Did I mention that she got paid for this?
Possibly Pontifette Meg