From: (Mumthra)

Subject: Squeeze me!!

Date: 24 Feb 1999 00:00:00 GMT


Newsgroups: alt.foot.fat-free,alt.slack



We have about a half dozen of those squeaky marine animal toys. I'm

not even sure how they got here, but the sharks are now my favorite,

because the sharks are still silent. Nobody wants a squeaky shark, it



Anyway, Spunky brought me a dolphin that had lost his voice, and I

declared him mute. His squeaky diaphragm had come unglued, so I ripped

it out and tossed the gutted squeaker on the pile of lesser toys.


Before I threw the diaphragm in the trash, I pried the squeak whistle



The squeaker is about the size of a bullet, which doesn't mean much

since bullets are pretty variable, but it's exactly the size of the

bullet that I imagine when someone mentions bullets.


It's perfectly swallowable, although I can't quite bring myself to

experiment with THAT yet.


I put it in my mouth and invited the kids to "schqueezsh me" but it's

tricky to talk around the squeaker. It's probably not worth learning

how for a one-shot joke, anyway.


I think I'll have it installed in my nose as a personal alarm.



This was probably from Mumthra. Ordinarily non-contagious.

"So you'd have to take it on faith that it was in fact

a tentacle and not, say, a potato." --Jahweh Dave Lynch