ARTICLES of MEG XIII
Part I




Feisty Fledglings and Fat Free Feet:

Mumthra's Guide to

Parenthood into the Year 2000




If You Are Expecting Your First Child,
You Must Read This Book!

If You Already Have Children,
You Must Read This Book!

If You Have Ever BEEN A Child,
You Must Read This Book!



YOU! Must! READ! This! BOOK!!1!


Sparky! Spunky! Spider Monkey!

Nice Middle-Aged Husband!

Pupae! Podiatry! Pringles!


EXCERPTS FROM THE BOOK OF MEG:


Stomp it flat and cheer OVER it
The Wonderful Smiths
Doorknobs for Nancy
MegaLizabethan
EVIL SELLOUT
Bagel Shoppe of the Damned
I'll be Home for Christmas
Bringing Up Baby
The Conquered Worm
Pent-up Pals
Science Fear
Night of the Comet
ONE MORE THING ON THE VIRGIN
Countdown Begins
Pocahontasaurus
Lemmy Quotient
SCARY GIFTED MIDGETS
Snip, snip, snip
Baby's on Fire
Forget Mecca
Lemmy wants a MILKSHAKE
OSHITOJOYOSHITOJOY
Countdown Acceleration
The Assembled MotPU Breathes a Sigh
16 hours remain!
AALLLMOST
The end is arrived!
Lemmy is an air breather at last
Bombing the Ant Hospital
Another Big Ass Lake
Six O'Clock
Doo-Bwah means never having to say Oom-Fwah
Toepicker Bob
SPAZZ!
Special Slack Report (tm)
Spunky the Dentyst
The Trouble With Cupcakes
Letting your Slack get sucked
Quitting Bob's on All Saint's Day
Shaggy BOB
Nobody did shit for me
City of Munks
Things you could have heard here today
The Blueberries of Peevishness
The Day Before the Night Before Christmas
SPIN CYCLE OF DEATH
What I did today
Another Contraceptive Message
Help! Big! Bird!
Braveheart Review
CHILD SLAUGHTER PREFERENCES
Minty Fresh Death
Gore Me? Gore May?
Deep Thoughts for a Happy Sunday
Just say FUCK NO to Pinks
Mall Pall
Ways to reduce stress and boost your OOPTIMISM
I challenge you to a SOFA BAKEOFF!!!
Paper Rage
Spunky's Apple Pie Recipe
Stable Manners
STEALTH DICK encounter
To Kill a Parakeet
To Kill a Parakeet some more
Vacation Conflagration
Effective Subgenius Parenting Strategy Revealed
The All-Nite XXX Silver Diner Zombie Waitresses from Takoma Park
Not Meg, but EXPLAINS ALOT - The Netherwear of Achilleus
Also Not Meg -Argon's Last Mission
BAFFLED REVULSION AND SHEER TERROR
The ATM ate my Slack
Movie Review: Babe
I've been thinking about BARTENDING
Bliss Turd
Is that too CLOYING?
BLOWJOBMANIA!
Body Count
HEP! AH NEED A BOMMO!
COWARD JOHNSON'S
Braziliant
Breaking up is avec vous
The grip of a new calling
Would you buy a Buick from "Bob"?
Honey, I'm Cloned!
All the filth you people post
Butthead Parents
Immigrant Scaring Department
Customary Cannibal Comforts
Car Babies
Begging for Questions
Cat Puke Carosel!!!
Cat Pate
Pure EVIL and only 50% actual fat
First-hand Account of Chewing off my Own Leg
Chilluns of "B0B"
Chlorine Cure
How Not to Find a Crack House
Crinoline Crush
White House Pastry Chef Dies While Planning Her Ski Trip
THIS IS SAD, YOU HEAR?
Lather, Rinse, Repeat
MUMTHRA TALKS ABOUT YOUR DICK
Disguise slipping - need advice
Dog Made of People
Dolphin rape
Doorknobs are evil
Just us girls
Hopping Down the PMS Trail
Eggzellent Driver
Good Reading is its Own Reward
Nothing is more endearing
Speaking of love...
Gooey Beauty
At Your Own Risk
Wow! This fiction sure does SUCK!
Fire is hot. For sure.
Iceland Today!
It may not last, but IT'S MINE NOW
What is a Foot?
Thirsty Thursday
The World's Loneliest Housewife Triumphs WITH SCIENCE IN YOUR PANTS
Full Keys Mystery
GENDER WAR
Germs Attack!
Cheerio Castles
A Gondola in the Slack Canal
Absorbent the Greek
Wanna see my COOL episiotomy?
Guacamole
Guys With Guns When You Need Them
Halloween Majick from Martha
New Slack Anti-control Control!
An Offering from the Virtual Pet Cemetary
I love roof dwelling
Slack Hints from HelloWheezy
Hair Slack
I've Been Goated
It embraces without becoming and swallows without digesting
Four Horsefeathers of the Apocalypse
The Progress of All Good Consumption
Got a question?
Unanswered Questions for the Millionth Spunky
Hysteric Paramedic
AMC: Erica on the Rampage
Women Pay You For Intimate Bananas
Iowa
#Advice? My warts are killing me!
NEWS! Actual news for a change!
And do you know WHY JACK RAWKS?
Thread J is for JAYNER
Nipped Off!
What's in the Laundry Today?
A laziness too far
Who's Ascared of a Leather Bag?
no lesbian...not toys
Lips in Slack Service
The Lost Thursday
Money for nothing
I'm supposed to unzip my spine
I hereby give you all MORE shit
Hate Pony
The End of Madame Flora
Tantrum Yoga
Meatier Showers
She deserves the Goddess title
We gots tours galores!
My Morning in Sex
The English Patient
Mulch is Mahvelous
Naked Plague
Nasty Saviars
Static-absorbing pith helmet!
NENSLO Sighting
Is there a Slack test?
What I did today
Your Nose is Not a Pocket
LITTLE-KNOWN FACTS ABOUT ODELLS
Speaking of love...
ORTHODONTIST, Brace thyself
Pack Animal
Don't curl your toes!
Let's be systematic
I see London, I see France
A Morning at the Piddle Parlor
Pinking King
Copyright on DNA?
Yet Another Day for Polly Dent
Behaving Themselves Naturally
Pot Lucky
A VICTIM of PUPPETMASTER STANG
The Genetically Perfect Serial Killer Mommy
PSYCHIC PETS
I have forseen it!
Gingerbread Housing Project
Send TWINKIES
Send Ho-hos!
Yeah, but WHY?
Not tonight dear... I have to JACKLIGHT
Radio Shack Advises Against Army Assault
It's just a question of WHEN
No more marauding on bicycles
Statistics For Everything
The Big Sleepless Rubber Cupcakes
Little Doktor Do Does It
I decided to give up complaining
Flow with the go
Simply Sacrilicious
Six things
A toe collection in her pocket?
SALAMI SLACK
Dr. Bob always remembers me
Sparky: Queen of the First-grade Fringe
PUT DOWN THE SPATULA
Sperm Courier
S.P.E.R.M. Info
Spunky on Eggs
Get some, lose some, get some more
Spunky on Film
Spunky Sez
Spunky Story
Spurious George
How Come If I'm So Smart
Reminder
Stomach Lump
An Ode to Stumpy
YOU ALL SUCK!
Lose weight fast
Things you could have heard here today
To Whom it May Constern
Travelation
Sleeping with a 14 yr old girl
I CAN'T COME
I Have a Bone To Pick With You
Rock me in the water
I'm still prettier than a pile of bricks!!!
I bow to your flipper control!
Wassamatta?
THE LONGEST GOODBYE
Apostracalypse!
Codex Bobiphianus
Day and a Half
Dear Dead Deer
Remember the talking FEED ME squirrel
A funny thing I didn't write
I am a very heppy heppy mommy person
A Happy Song
The Pounding Cure
Mehh!
Pretty Good Pretty Advice for Mamafrog
GALLOWS BIRD GIBBERS GRAVY
Turned off by Teevee
A DEFINING MOMENT
Squeeze me!!
Sparky's Bedtime Story
Spunky Spews Stuff
Memories, Like the Corners of Time Out
Your Toes are for Their Sockets
A Ton of Foo!
Surprise Clowns
Lots of Supplies
Gone Too Metaphar
Smother's Day



Onward to ARTICLES Part 14
Onward to ARTICLES Part 15
Onward to ARTICLES Part 16
Onward to ARTICLES Part 17
Back to ARTICLES Part 12
Back to ARTICLES Part 11
Back to ARTICLES Part 10
Back to ARTICLES Part 9
Back to ARTICLES Part 2
Back to ARTICLES Part 1
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Meg n' Jack's homepage!!1!


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