"When I was an itty bitty Yeti

my momma used to rock me in the cradle,

in them cold 'frop fields back home."

 

I am NOT a pervert. I'm a SubGenius. That makes me a subvert.

 

How do we know the hole in "Bob"'s pipe goes all the way through?

Does it need to?

 

If there can be a Church of Scientology, how come no School of Religitology?

 

The Beatemupatudes:

 

Some people have all the questions.

Shun them, for they are boring, and a vexation.

 

Some people have all the answers.

Ignore them, for they are shit-for-brains dupes, and are as

wrong as a turtle fucking a rock.

 

Some people have all the attitude.

Run quickly from them, and throw rocks from a far place, for

they are as Pink as strawberry ice cream vomit.

 

Some people have all the opinions.

Boil them, for they are unclean. They should be healed by a

laying upon of bricks.

 

Some people have all the power.

Watch them carefully, but do not get close, for they are the

CON, and can devour your soul.

 

Some people have all the money.

Steal from them by taking their jobs, but performing your

duty in that guise. They too are CON, but of a baser nature.

 

Some people have all the Slack.

Praise them, and keep ye among them, for they are the Yetisyny,

and they are of "Bob", and they shall smoketh of the holy Pipe

of his presence. They shall get down, and boogie-oogie-oogie

with the Xists who ride the shields of Wotan, upon the day of Arisal, and forever and ever. Hey man.

 

-Dr. DynaSoar of course