Subject: Pants

Date: Sat, 27 Dec 1997 10:47:59 -0800

From: truwe@MiNd.NeT

Organization: The Group Home for the Easily Amused

Newsgroups: alt.slack.devo, alt.slack


Oh, man, I gotta go pants shopping today.


I'm down to two pairs of pants, both with holes in 'em, since I managed

to catch the zipper of my other pair in my underwear and it hasn't

worked right since. I _thought_ I had way more pants, but it turns out

I've just been wearing the top three pair over and over, and the ones

underneath are my old size 14s and do not, by any stretch of the

imagination, fit.


So, I've put on my M.C. Hammer-esque pajama pants, my easy-off boots

(zippers on the sides) and am ready for a day of trying on pants that

are all the same, down to the molecular level. Isn't life grand?


To top it off, they've stopped making my favorite kind of bra and the

elastic on my current ones is all stretched out. Another dreaded

bra-shopping expedition is in the works.


In an ideal world, I would only wear a nice big terry cloth robe, and

warm socks and shoes. Also, a hat. In this ideal world, hats would

fit. And I get to decide who lives and who dies.


Be very very quiet. I'm off hunting pants.




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