From blight@u.washington.edu Sun Dec 07 22:51:17 1997

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: Evolutionary trend REVEALED!

From: "Rev. Boblight" <blight@u.washington.edu>

Date: Sun, 07 Dec 1997 22:51:17 -0800

 

Christopher John wrote:

>

> I've discovered a frightening trend on the part of General Humanity.

> While Subgenii are evolving towards a greater being, it seems that

> numerous Pinks are following in the footsteps, evidently in hopes

> of glimpsing the glory that shall be ours!

 

While you are accurate ENOUGH in your statement about SubGenii, your

thoughts on humans betray some all-too-common misconceptions about

evolution. For the sake of clarity and the edification of the younger

yeti, I'll explain.

 

> These said PINKS have no Tibeatian heritage, thus they are merely human.

> specifically I refer to those that I'm surrounded by in North East

> TN. SubGenii would unfailingly identify them as PINKs, though

> others would call them rednecks, inbreeds, or possibly savages.

 

You are, of course, referring to Po'buckers. My father's family is pure

Nebraska Po'bucker, so I carry those recessive traits within me. (ALL

PB genes are recessive!) As mentioned in _Revelation X_, they do not

make up a biological species, but rather a social grouping of stupid,

ignorant, trashy Pinks and latent Subs. It is quite difficult to tell

the subSubs from the Pink Trash - even more so than smart and/or

educated and/or "tasteful" bipeds.

 

> BUT!- They display a remarkable aptitude for many of the traits that

> Subgenii are known for.

> 1. They eagerly embrace SLACK- though they don't revel in it and

> hold it dear. Yet, evolution works slow, and i can see a

> day that they do see it as wonderful.

 

These are two difficult points. SOME embrace Slack as much or more than

any Sub, because they don't CARE enough to think about it too much. An

example is the banjo-boy from "Deliverance." These are obviously all

Subs. SOME reject it in favor of False Slack - these may be lost yeti

or, more likely, Pinks.

 

The Po'bucker Subs don't revel in their Slack or hold it dear because

there's no reason for them to do so. Why should they? They can't

imagine any alternatives, and they've never known True Slacklessness.

If they were to think about the rest of us, sorry lot that we are, it

would only be to wonder what the fuss is about. It's like we're dancing

around on the street because we've found a half-eaten candy bar while

they're watching us from inside a GIANT LIVE-IN CANDY STORE that's WIDE

OPEN and UNGUARDED!

 

And, regarding evolution - it is not all-powerful. Just as ants are

constrained by their physiology to remain at their current size until

X-Day, and we are kept in a state of UnderOverManHood until that time,

Pinks will stay pink until July, when they'll be FOOD.

 

Let me clarify: NO PINK WILL EVER BECOME A SUBGENIUS OR KNOW TRUE

SLACK. While it may be that a SubBaby will be born to Pink parents,

without even any Rogue Sperm, this is not part of any meaningful

evolutionary process. It is merely a rare example of catastrophic

speciation - for is not every yeti a species unto itself?

 

> I fear this is a case of convergent evolution, or perhaps it's a

> planned attempt to better themselves by copying us in our glory.

 

Have no fear, brother. The Po'bucker Subs, mostly unsaved, will remain

after X-Day to keep the Slack-fires burning (along with the OVENS...).

The Po'bucker Pinks will - well, you know already. They can't truly

copy our glory, as they'll find when their crappy False Drugs and False

Games and False Food turn AGAINST them and they are transformed into

tumor factories to fuel the DNA labs of the saucer men.

 

> Luckily, after X-day we will no longer have to even contemplate these

> imposters.

> PRAISE BOB!

>

> Rev Theodin of the Northern Mystics

 

Amen.

 

- Rev. Boblight

"Bob" run it!