From firstname.lastname@example.org Sun Dec 07 22:51:17 1997
Subject: Re: Evolutionary trend REVEALED!
From: "Rev. Boblight" <email@example.com>
Date: Sun, 07 Dec 1997 22:51:17 -0800
Christopher John wrote:
> I've discovered a frightening trend on the part of General Humanity.
> While Subgenii are evolving towards a greater being, it seems that
> numerous Pinks are following in the footsteps, evidently in hopes
> of glimpsing the glory that shall be ours!
While you are accurate ENOUGH in your statement about SubGenii, your
thoughts on humans betray some all-too-common misconceptions about
evolution. For the sake of clarity and the edification of the younger
yeti, I'll explain.
> These said PINKS have no Tibeatian heritage, thus they are merely human.
> specifically I refer to those that I'm surrounded by in North East
> TN. SubGenii would unfailingly identify them as PINKs, though
> others would call them rednecks, inbreeds, or possibly savages.
You are, of course, referring to Po'buckers. My father's family is pure
Nebraska Po'bucker, so I carry those recessive traits within me. (ALL
PB genes are recessive!) As mentioned in _Revelation X_, they do not
make up a biological species, but rather a social grouping of stupid,
ignorant, trashy Pinks and latent Subs. It is quite difficult to tell
the subSubs from the Pink Trash - even more so than smart and/or
educated and/or "tasteful" bipeds.
> BUT!- They display a remarkable aptitude for many of the traits that
> Subgenii are known for.
> 1. They eagerly embrace SLACK- though they don't revel in it and
> hold it dear. Yet, evolution works slow, and i can see a
> day that they do see it as wonderful.
These are two difficult points. SOME embrace Slack as much or more than
any Sub, because they don't CARE enough to think about it too much. An
example is the banjo-boy from "Deliverance." These are obviously all
Subs. SOME reject it in favor of False Slack - these may be lost yeti
or, more likely, Pinks.
The Po'bucker Subs don't revel in their Slack or hold it dear because
there's no reason for them to do so. Why should they? They can't
imagine any alternatives, and they've never known True Slacklessness.
If they were to think about the rest of us, sorry lot that we are, it
would only be to wonder what the fuss is about. It's like we're dancing
around on the street because we've found a half-eaten candy bar while
they're watching us from inside a GIANT LIVE-IN CANDY STORE that's WIDE
OPEN and UNGUARDED!
And, regarding evolution - it is not all-powerful. Just as ants are
constrained by their physiology to remain at their current size until
X-Day, and we are kept in a state of UnderOverManHood until that time,
Pinks will stay pink until July, when they'll be FOOD.
Let me clarify: NO PINK WILL EVER BECOME A SUBGENIUS OR KNOW TRUE
SLACK. While it may be that a SubBaby will be born to Pink parents,
without even any Rogue Sperm, this is not part of any meaningful
evolutionary process. It is merely a rare example of catastrophic
speciation - for is not every yeti a species unto itself?
> I fear this is a case of convergent evolution, or perhaps it's a
> planned attempt to better themselves by copying us in our glory.
Have no fear, brother. The Po'bucker Subs, mostly unsaved, will remain
after X-Day to keep the Slack-fires burning (along with the OVENS...).
The Po'bucker Pinks will - well, you know already. They can't truly
copy our glory, as they'll find when their crappy False Drugs and False
Games and False Food turn AGAINST them and they are transformed into
tumor factories to fuel the DNA labs of the saucer men.
> Luckily, after X-day we will no longer have to even contemplate these
> PRAISE BOB!
> Rev Theodin of the Northern Mystics
- Rev. Boblight
"Bob" run it!