Atlanta Devival is "Go"!: Answer to Tarla's query.

Author:Nolan Voyde

Email:X@mindspring.com

Date:1998/03/14

Forums:alt.slack

 

!!!bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar) wrote:

>voyde@mindspring.com (Nolan Voyde) wrote:

 

>>ATLANTA DEVIVAL IS SET AT LAST!

 

 

>>Yes, my semiyeti brethren in "Bob", the plans have come together at

>>last, and the Devival planned for the last weekend of March will

>>happen.

 

>>Date: Friday March 27th

>>Time: 9:00 pm

>>Place: The International Artists' Guild warehouse at 845 Memorial

>>Drive SE Atlanta, Georgia

 

>>Tickets: $5.00 (American money, please.)

 

>>Lineup (subject to change, maybe): ST. JANOR HYPERCLETES

>>PAPA JOE MAMA

>>REV. ROCK N. HAND

>>LT. COL. (Not-Habitual-But-Borderline) WOLFBOY

>>REV. DR. NOLAN VOYDE

 

>A devival in Atlanta WITHOUT Soozie the Floozie? What's up with THAT?

>***

>Reverend Mutha Tarla Star of the Little Sisters of the Perpetually

>Juicy; a Proud jism schism of the Church of the SubGenius.

>Worshipping Juicy Retardo and "Connie" Dobbs since 1986.

 

 

Susie is not in the Devival because she was not interested in being in

it or in helping Papa Joe and Janor put it together. Papa Joe and

Janor then contacted me for help, and I arranged for the connections

to get a venue. My reward for this effort was to be ordered out of

the Devival by Stang, because he thinks I'm creepy and he doesn't want

me to (I quote) "invade Susie's world". Therefore, I am out of the

Devival, also, and will not even attend. He has also informed me that

he doesn't want me associated with the Church any longer for daring to

help organize a Devival in Susie's town. I am no longer taking any

active part in the Church and I will not be posting here any more. I

am the CRAZY MAN he referred to in his last posting, the HOS #622 log.

 

The "damage control" consisted of getting me kicked out of a Devival I

had put a lot of work and some money into.

 

The Former Rev. Nolan Voyde

 

 

Re: Rev. Friday, & Re: Atlanta Devival is "Go"!

Author:TarlaStar

Email:!!!bmyers@ionet.net

Date:1998/03/16

Forums:alt.slack

 

 

X@mindspring.com (Nolan Voyde) wrote:

 

>>In article <6ef2fu$qj8@camel19.mindspring.com>, X@mindspring.com wrote:

 

> Yes, I already know what you mean. When I read Stang's nasty response

>to my e-mail begging (yes, literally begging!) to be reinstated in the

>Devival, I busted out laughing on the spot! It only proved that he

>hadn't really read my e-mail at all, and had his response all ready

>for me no matter what I wrote to him. I dropped my feud with Susie

>the Floozy a long time ago and contented myself with what success I

>enjoyed from posting on alt.slack. Stang and Susie combined to dredge

>all the shit back up, and then blamed me for it. It's a long, long

>story.

 

One which you're willing to hint at, but not tell. If you've dropped

this so-called feud, why do you go on ad infinitum about it through

the rest of this post?

 

 

> Can anybody recall a single posting where I so much as mentioned

>Susie's name until this came up?

 

 

Nope. I just couldn't believe there'd be a real Devival in Atlanta

without Soozie. All you had to say was, "She's too busy." or

something.

 

>The truth is, Susie doesn't like

>Papa Joe, Janor, Wolfboy and especially me. 4 out of 5 preachers in

>the Devival, and her efforts to wreck it have not stopped, but right

>now I can say no more about that except that she couldn't stop it from

>happening by refusing to help Papa Joe and Janor, and when I pulled it

>off, she went ballistic.

 

 

Oh yeah, we've all seen her going ballistic. Is this how you drop a

feud?

 

> She reads everything posted by me, looking for attacks on her, but

>notice how she never posts anything, herself?

 

Maybe she's not interested in posting. Many people aren't. That's not

a reason to say shit about her, especially when you know she won't

defend herself because she doesn't POST.

 

>You might find it quite uninteresting to know that the reason I quit

>Bob's Slacktime Funhouse was because she wanted me to get Wolfboy off

>my side of the show, because she suspected he was a spy for Rev. Mike

>Rofone, my predecessor as her co-host. I met Wolfboy while we were

>both doing Mike's Funhouse, and we became close friends and still are.

>I provided the link to him, and he found the venue for the Devival.

 

>After weeks of her insisting that I dump him, I quit the show because

>I won't fuck over a friend for anybody, and I don't like harassing

>pressure from anybody.

 

 

But you've quit the feud and aren't saying anything about Soozie,

right?

 

 

> Stang claims that it's personal, between he and I, but he's just

>trying to protect poor delicate Susie from my wrath, just as he has

>always done and will continue to do.

 

 

As if she needed to be protected from YOU. I don't know Soozie all

that well, but the one time I met her, she didn't seem to be the kind

of woman that needed Stang to protect her.

 

> Everything she says is true, and

>everything I say is a lie. I know more than he thinks I do about

>what's going on, that's a fact you can take to the bank. I have a

>constant stream of e-mails from and to other SubG's all the time.

>Funny how so many people like me, especially people who know me quite

>well, except Susie and Stang.

 

And it's also funny how many of us find you to be an obnoxious

braggart...but we don't tend to e-mail with that kind of comment.

 

 

>Susie I had a nasty falling-out with,

>and Stang doesn't know me personally at all, and listens only to her.

 

But in previous postings, you position yourself as THE voice in

 

Atlanta, Stang's right hand boy in the bosum of the South.

 

 

>Hmm. Wolfboy and Rock N. Hand, who worked with me for months on my

>show when I was their boss, are still standing by me. Hmm. How

>strange.

 

 

I'm betting it wasn't YOUR name on any of the checks they

received...if they received any at all.

 

> Yes, folks, I am laughing.

 

Yeah, me too.

 

***

 

Reverend Mutha Tarla Star of the Little Sisters of the Perpetually

Juicy; a Proud jism schism of the Church of the SubGenius.

Worshipping Juicy Retardo and "Connie" Dobbs since 1986.

 

 

Re: Rev. Friday, & Re: Atlanta Devival is "Go"!

Author:Anthony Lawless, Barry Morrison, Carl Beange, Ana-Therese Ward

Email:norway@ihug.co.nz

Date:1998/03/16

Forums:alt.slack

 

On Mon, 16 Mar 1998 13:37:43 GMT, !!!bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar)

wrote:

 

>As if she needed to be protected from YOU. I don't know Soozie all

>that well, but the one time I met her, she didn't seem to be the kind

>of woman that needed Stang to protect her.

 

If you needed Stang to protect you, you'd have to be pretty bloody

pathetic. I mean, he can't even protect his own tender ass from

Legume's throbbing purple-headed warrior.

 

Anthony "Slug of Doom" Lawless, GCP - keyboardist, composer,

wordsmith, amateur literary critic, micronationalist, editor

and pagan, among other things. http://shell.ihug.co.nz/~norway

"The Universe explodes apart. All the children sing."

 

 

 

 

 

Re: Fuck you too, Legume

Author:Rev. Random the Other

Email:cmcjp02@nt.com

Date:1998/03/22

Forums:alt.slack

 

IrRev. Friday Jones wrote:

 

> In article <i.stang-ya02408000R2203981714410001@enews.newsguy.com>,

> i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) wrote:

> >

> >Friday, you're creepy and fired and you can't even SELL at your own

> >Devival, much less preach. Will you lay down again now, hon? I PROMISE

> >I'll be able to dish it out THIS time, if you'll TAKE it!

>

 

> (Sigh) Isn't it nice to think that I'm only going to have to put up with

> this line for another three months or so? After that I can send in my

> Alien Sex Goddess Friday-clone to listen to Stang whimper as he flails at

> his flaccid meats.

> Of course, Stang probably THINKS that once he gets onto the Escape Vessels

> he'll be able to sustain 100% erection in ALL PENII at ALL TIMES. Which

> just goes to show what thinking will get you.

>

> - Friday

>

 

Are YOU A Problem Thinker?

 

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at

parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one

thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a

social thinker.

 

I began to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself --

but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more

important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.

 

I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and

employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.

 

I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read

Thoreau and Kafka.

 

I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking,

"What is it exactly we are doing here?"

 

Things weren't going so great at home either. One

evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the

meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's.

 

I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the

boss called me in. He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it

hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real

problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll

have to find another job." This gave me a lot to think

about.

 

I came home early after my conversation with the boss.

"Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."

 

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a

divorce!"

 

"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

 

"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You

"think as much as college professors, and college professors

don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking we won't

have any money!"

 

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and

she began to cry.

 

I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled

as I stomped out the door.

 

I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche,

with NPR on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and

ran up to the big glass doors ... they didn't open. The

library was closed.

 

To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking

out for me that night.

 

As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass,

whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye.

"Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked.

You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard

Thinker's Anonymous poster.

 

Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.

 

I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-

educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we

share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the

last meeting.

 

I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home.

Life just seemed . . . easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped

thinking.

 

Rev. RtO

-this has been around, don't know the author

 

 

Author:Rev. Matthew A. Carey

Email:carey@humboldt1.com

Date: 1998/03/17

Forums: alt.slack

 

On Tue, 17 Mar 1998 09:57:42 GMT, X@mindspring.com (Nolan Voyde)

wrote:

>GODDAMN GREAT RESPONSE, REV. CHUCK!!!

>Yeah, I know I said I'd quit posting a couple of posts ago, but I've

>started to enjoy my new role as an outcast. It's kind of fun, really.

>How about a new title like, say, Official Outcast of alt.slack? How

>about Nolan Voyde, Scabrous Leper of alt.slack? I'll think of

>something.

 

 

Are you kidding me? There's more outcasts in this newsgroup then in

the back alleys of Bombay. That's what this religion is all about.

If THEY try to excommunicate you, well then, that makes you a bigger

and better yeti than ever before. REJECTION feeds SLACK.

 

When outsiders outnumber insiders, then it'll be a different and

beautiful world.

 

So stick around. Wreak havok. Have a good time. Don't let them

silence you just because you took a risk and got FAILEDon. Failure is

 

a good sign that you're trying new things and living a fun-filled

interesting life.

 

Not that you failed anyhow. I think you did a fine job. Email me a

mailing address and I'll send you some tapes as a reward.

 

 

Author: Dr.Legume <legume@subgenius.com>

Date: 1998/03/18

Forum: alt.slack

 

Stang emailed me some choice excerpts from his recent correspondences

with Nolan Voyde. When Nolan posted the message that Stang had kicked

him out of the church, I was one of the few people who defended him. I

sent him an email telling him I was on his side. I believed what he'd

said, and told Susie the Floozie she was WRONG to interfere. The Flooz

called me, VERY upset, and told me she had NOTHING to do with it, but

was the target for all of the SHIT that was being flung. At this point,

I decided to back off the whole situation. I still supported Nolan's

right to have a devival, if only because he's put time, effort, and

money into the project...I was behind him 100%.

 

Until Stang sent me this load of shit. I've reprinted it below, with

Stang's permission, and my response to Nolan's insipid jabbering.

 

So Nolan, I know you're reading this, and I, who DEFENDED your rights,

just want to say to you:

 

Fuck You, Nolan. We don't NEED you.

I now feel free to viciously attack you for the duration of this

message.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------

 

SOME CHOICE EXCERPTS From Nolan Voyde's letter to Ivan Stang:

>

> "You quite plainly told me that if I stayed clear of Susie, I

> could continue with the Church!!!! Am I right or wrong, huh?

 

Wow! I can almost hear myself saying those words to a divorce-court

judge.

 

> I give YOU

> the creeps? The feeling's now quite mutual, ya lyin' asshole! I totally

> obeyed your every request, and now I get THIS!

 

YES! And you also get the New Home Version of the COTSG! And a year

supply of Turtle Wax! Plus Rice-a-Roni, the San Francisco Treat...of

course for Nolan, the SanFrancisco treat is a belly full of SPURT.

 

 

> You are thoroughly weird

> and fucked up.

 

Praise "Bob"!

 

>There, now it's all out in the open. Satisfied, you sick

> little piece of lying shit? If there's one thing I've learned about

> dwarfish physical weaklings, it's that they get what they want by

> deviousness, you included, pencilneck." -- Nolan Voydd

 

See? He hates me, yet he still adheres to Holocaustal Doctrine.

> "As for my "creepy" responses to "obvious" jokes. (A) Like no one else in

> the Church is the least bit creepy, and least of all YOU, right? (B) You

> mean "obvious jokes" like Dr. Legume's sick imbecilic shit about NIGGERS

> and fags?

 

I'd rather be a racist than a delusional bipolar faggot

(heheheheheh)...the hours are better and I dont have to buy special

hygiene products. Actually, Nolan's RIGHT. I AM a RACIST. But for a

different reason than you might suppose. I like saying "NIGGER" because

I know how uncomfortable it makes WHITE PEOPLE.

 

I sure wish Nolan's daddy had bought him that pony

when he was 7, though he'd probably have fucked and tortured it.

 

I wonder if he's sitting at home now cutting the word "BETRAYED" into

his skin with a razor blade?

 

>Huh? Those "obvious jokes"? You like that garbage, huh? Fuck

> you and Legume, and you can tell him I said so.

 

I'm hurt. I'm going to hire a great big nigger to break his spine. I

figure it'll only cost me a 40 of malt liquor and some crack.

>I don't associate with

> racists, and being gay, I goddamn well don't like fag jokes by

> heterosexuals.

 

If I stop having sex COMPLETELY, is it OK for me to tell Fag Jokes?

 

>The term "faggot" is used by gay people among themselves the

> same way black people call each other "nigga". That's why I use that word,

> I have the right to.

 

And I don't? Let me get this straight (pun intended):

White faggots can say "Faggot" but not "nigger".

Straight blacks can say "Nigger" but not "Faggot".

Black faggots can say "Faggot" AND "Nigger" with impunity.

And the rest of us don't "have the right".

 

There must be some new version of the U.S. Constitution I haven't read.

 

I guess that soon Herbivores will lose the right to say "meat-eaters"

(so will straight people, probably), and Carnivores will lose the right

to say "Vegetarian".

 

 

>You mean "obvious jokes" like TarlaStar's humorless

> literal-mindedness? Oh, now THERE'S a real WIT for you. Off-base

> criticisms of my writing and posts about her shopping bargains. Great

> stuff!

 

Tarla's posts would be BRILLIANT if she'd just munch a rug, huh?

 

>"Obvious jokes" like the mindless drivel from those racists I

> ripped into?

 

Silly Ass. Those racist posters were just me and Papa Joe (who Nolan's

so upset that he won't be sharing a stage with)flaming alt.slack. Am I

still allowed to use the word "Flaming", or is that the exclusive domain

of the Cocksucker's Club?

 

> All I can say to all of this is that, between Susie and

> Legume, you have really poor taste in friends.

 

The Xists dont want a preacher with good taste. They want a preacher who

tastes good.

 

>I am now proud to count

> myself among your former admirers. And to think that I tried to please you

> and get you to like me.

 

Hell hath no fury like a homo scorned.

 

>What a fool I've been.

 

What a fool you've BEEN? It doesnt look like you're finished yet by a

long shot.

 

> The people who have befriended ME include doctors (a former

> president of

> the Georgia Psychiatric Association)

 

Yes, Nolan, the psychiatrist is your friend. Don't forget Nurse

Ratchet, she is you friend, too. All of the patients on the ward are

your friends. Your TRUE friends, the ones that would never betray you.

They are all looking forward to seeing you again. They will give you

the respect you deserve. They will crown you "Queen of Ward #3".

 

> attorneys, an archeologist with a

> rare fossil crab he found and prepared which is at the Smithsonian (Rev.

> Rock N. Hand) an artist with a degree from the Atlanta Art Institute and a

> job at the Atlanta High Museum (Wolfboy) and a Pulitzer prize-winning

> non-fiction author (for his biography of Jackson Pollock).

 

All men, huh? Hmmmm... I sense a theme here...By Dobbs! I think Nolan

may be the Monica Lewinsky of the COTSG!

 

(By the way,

> how's your animation career coming along? How's Susie's career at ANYTHING

> coming along?)

 

HAHAHAHAH! Oh, yeah, BABY! A "man" who lives with his Mom throwing

CAREER FAILURE up in a SubGenii's face...like it's an insult! Gosh! what

about Legume's dismal failure to contract hepatitus? What about G.Gordon

Gordon's failure to embrace his inner child?

 

>I was working on my book about St. Paul when I got

> sidetracked by my involvement with the Funhouse.

 

WoW! A book about Minnesota? Or is it about "Nolan's Bath House

Adventure?" That ought to burn its way to the top of

the NY Times Bestseller List!

 

>I tried to bring

> something uniquely intellectual to this raggedy-ass Church of yours,

 

you should have brought a nice casserole instead

 

> but I'm just CREEPY.

 

Dont forget "queer".

 

>Now, I can throw over this SubGenius foolisness that I

> have wasted far too much time on and get serious about getting published

> under my real name. For that, at least, I can thank you.

 

I can see you now, strutting proudly into Kinko's with a brown bag full

of your writings, shouting, "I am Jim Baysinger, and I have a WHOLE roll

of QUARTERS!"

 

Then I see you accusing the clerk of racism and homophobia when he

informs you that Crayola doesn't photocopy well...

 

>By the way, what

> big LIE, er, excuse me, "obvious joke" have you concocted to keep the

> faithful hanging on after your so-called XDay, Doug? You going to build a

> plastic flying saucer and get everyone to commit suicide in it, or

> something equally peurile?)" -- Nolan Voydd

 

He's on to us!

--

Dr.K'taden Legume

Evangelist Gunslinger

Church of the SubGenius (Holocaustal)

 

Visit the Holocaustal Website at:

http://members.tripod.com/~DrLegume/index.html

 

 

 

 

Fuck You too, Legume

Author: Nolan Voyde

Email:X@mindspring.com

Date:1998/03/21

Forums:alt.slack

 

Dr. Legume,

 

Your latest posting about me has only served to confirm what I said

about you. You are a hardcore troller and headgamer and are therefore

not to be trusted. It is upon your own head that the mindgames you

play inevitably result in a loss of personal credibility. Live with

it.

 

 

The letter I wrote to Stang which you quote from, which is geniune

and I acknowledge authorship of it, was selectively edited to take out

the parts where I quite correctly pointed out that Stang lied to me

and led me on about certain things.

 

 

That letter was written AFTER I received word that I was cut out of

the Atlanta Devival that I had helped organize, and AFTER I received a

very nasty response from Stang to my request for re-instatement.

Before that, I had faithfully honored my promise to him to drop my

feud with Susie and preach "Bob". Sure, I was pissed off. Anyone

would have been.

 

I was told by Papa Joe Mama that getting cut from the Devival was at

the very least the indirect result of a phone call Stang received from

Susie complaining about my participation. Now, who is reviving our

past differences here? Susie, Stang, or Papa Joe? In any case, it

wasn't me.

 

 

Your admission that you and (by your word, and we know what that's

worth) Papa Joe Mama perpetrated a massive "racist" troll on

alt.slack, is proof of how your mind operates. The idea of posting

NIGGER trolls to make white people uptight (so you say, now!) is prima

facie evidence of what your mind dwells upon. It sure as hell ain't

preachin' "Bob". Besides, at this point, who can believe a word you

say, anymore?

 

 

You use of the fact that I am gay to ridicule me as if there were

something wrong with it is likewise evidence that you are, in fact,

homophobic. What THAT has to do with preaching "Bob" is anyone's

guess. Except, of course, yours. You are righteous and anything you

do is cool.

 

 

You backed me 100%, huh? Unlike Rev. Stang, I am not a mindreader

and I had no way of knowing that. I found your e-mail to me to be (a)

late, (b) unbelievable, due to the fact that it came from you in the

first place, Mr. Headgame, and (c) condescending, inasmuch as it

contained the "slap us both" clause. You did not mention in it that

you wrote anything to Stang or Susie or that you intended to post

anything. Not that I gave a shit. I told you just what the deal was,

and obviously you are so used to overawing people that you couldn't

handle honest talk from someone who thinks you are equal parts silly

and not worth believing. You are buying too much into your own

bully-boy hype and you're too used to intimidating pimply-faced

Bobbies to understand that there are people out there who find you

rather a bit of a blowhard. Your overwrought reaction to my response

is proof enough to me that like all schoolyard bullies, you can dish

it out, but you can't take it.

 

Once again, I remind the readers of alt.slack that all this stuff

from me came after I got cut from the Devival. Before that, I was

busy forgetting about Susie and forging my own way as a preacher for

"Bob". I have offended people, and I have screwed up royally at

times, but I nevertheless honored my private commitment to Stang, and

he decided that wasn't good enough. I ask you all: How would you

like to organize a Devival, put money and time into it in an effort to

show Stang you can do the Church some good, and when it's all locked

and loaded, be suddenly informed that are creepy, not welcome in the

Church and out of the Devival? Would you get pissed or would you lay

down and take it?

 

Nolan Voyde

 

 

 

 

 

 

Re: Fuck you too, Legume

Author:Dr.Legume

Email:legume@subgenius.com

Date:1998/03/21

Forums:alt.slack

 

Nolan Voyde wrote:

>

> Dr. Legume,

> Your latest posting about me has only served to confirm what I said

> about you. You are a hardcore troller and headgamer and are therefore

> not to be trusted. It is upon your own head that the mindgames you

> play inevitably result in a loss of personal credibility. Live with

> it.

 

 

I am a high-ranking member of a Texas UFO Death Cult that launches

rubber golfer heads and worships a piece of Yellow Pages clipart.

My "personal credibility" blew its' wad YEARS ago.

 

<snip> <a bunch of whining "Stang betrayed me" shit>

 

>

> I was told by Papa Joe Mama that getting cut from the Devival was at

> the very least the indirect result of a phone call Stang received from

> Susie complaining about my participation. Now, who is reviving our

> past differences here? Susie, Stang, or Papa Joe? In any case, it

> wasn't me.

 

It doesn't matter now. You've screwed the pooch. Maybe you should have

thought before you went fucking ballistic on everyone. Now even the most

lowly Bobbie can ridicule you publicly as you twist in the wind,

squawking like an insane chicken. The best part is the fact that for as

long as we feel like ridiculing you here at alt.slack, you'll be drawn

here like a mutt on a short rope. You're HOOKED, boy. The very fact that

you're reading this post is proof.

 

 

> Your admission that you and (by your word, and we know what that's

> worth) Papa Joe Mama perpetrated a massive "racist" troll on

> alt.slack, is proof of how your mind operates.

 

 

So you say my word is worthless, yet you cite it as PROOF of how my mind

works?

 

 

> The idea of posting

> NIGGER trolls to make white people uptight (so you say, now!) is prima

> facie evidence of what your mind dwells upon.

 

 

You're a fucking idiot. What am I supposed to say? "I'm Dr.Legume, and

I'm posting a racist troll to make you uptight. Please respond as if

you're highly offended."

It obviously got YOUR panties in a bunch, WHITEBOY.

 

>It sure as hell ain't

> preachin' "Bob".

 

 

Damn right it aint, praise "Bob".

 

 

>Besides, at this point, who can believe a word you

> say, anymore?

 

I would appreciate it if you would tell everyone exactly what it is I

LIED about. You keep referring to my incredibility, yet you haven't

mentioned even ONE time I've lied about ANYTHING. In the immortal words

of Colonel Jessup:

 

YOU WANT THE TRUTH?

 

YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

 

The truth is, you're a psychotic reactionary asshole, a delusional

paranoid...in other words, you have the potential to make a GREAT

Christian...if you can take that dick out of your ass maybe they'll have

you.

 

>

> You use of the fact that I am gay to ridicule me as if there were

> something wrong with it is likewise evidence that you are, in fact,

> homophobic.

 

 

I use the fact that you are gay to ridicule you because I know that

it's the best way to piss you off. Works like a FUCKING CHARM, too,

doesn't it? I bet you're one of those dumbass fags who claims that

they're BORN gay, instead of just putting aside your SHAME and admitting

that you just LIKE TO FUCK OTHER MEN. This way you can blame you're

parents for your small, shitty life, instead of taking responsibility

for your own situation. And EVERYONE HERE can see how fond you are of

BLAMING.

 

>What THAT has to do with preaching "Bob" is anyone's

> guess. Except, of course, yours.

 

 

It has NOTHING to do with preaching "Bob". It may surprise you to learn

that I have MY OWN opinions and thoughts, and that I dont spend all my

time sitting in a Prayer temple surrounded by incense and chanting

"Bob's" name.

 

 

>You are righteous and anything you

> do is cool.

 

 

Thanks. I agree.

 

> You backed me 100%, huh? Unlike Rev. Stang, I am not a mindreader

> and I had no way of knowing that.

 

 

So you badmouth ME, when I had nothing to do with ANY of it.

 

 

>I found you email to be (a) late, (b) unbelievable, due to the fact that it came from you in the

> first place, Mr. Headgame, and (c) condescending, inasmuch as it

> contained the "slap us both" clause.

 

>Not that I gave a shit.

 

evidently you do, or you wouldn't have mentioned it.

 

>I told you just what the deal was,

> and obviously you are so used to overawing people that you couldn't

> handle honest talk from someone who thinks you are equal parts silly

> and not worth believing.

 

 

You don't even know me, dickweed. Anyone who does, would laugh at you.

Maybe it's YOU who looks at me with such AWE.

 

> You are buying too much into your own

> bully-boy hype

 

I reiterate: It's YOU who are buying into the hype. And it's not even

HYPE.

 

> and you're too used to intimidating pimply-faced

> Bobbies to understand that there are people out there who find you

> rather a bit of a blowhard.

 

Blowhard? I thought that was YOUR department

 

 

> Your overwrought reaction to my response

 

You're a FINE one to describe anyone else as overwrought. My response

wasn't written in ANGER. I was laughing at you the WHOLE TIME.

 

 

> is proof enough to me that like all schoolyard bullies, you can dish

> it out, but you can't take it.

 

Its proof I can take it, and dish out BETTER.

 

>

> Once again, I remind the readers of alt.slack that all this stuff

> from me came after I got cut from the Devival. Before that, I was

> busy forgetting about Susie and forging my own way as a preacher for

> "Bob". I have offended people, and I have screwed up royally at

> times, but I nevertheless honored my private commitment to Stang, and

> he decided that wasn't good enough. I ask you all: How would you

> like to organize a Devival, put money and time into it in an effort to

> show Stang you can do the Church some good, and when it's all locked

> and loaded, be suddenly informed that are creepy, not welcome in the

> Church and out of the Devival? Would you get pissed or would you lay

> down and take it?

 

 

Lay down and take it, Nolan. I hear that's your favorite position.

Just don't look for the roll of quarters on the nightstand afterward.

We're not your USUAL clientele...

 

--

 

Dr.K'taden Legume

Evangelist Gunslinger

Church of the SubGenius (Holocaustal)

Visit the Holocaustal Website at:

http://members.tripod.com/~DrLegume/index.htm

 

 

Re: Fuck you too, Legume

Author: Ginsu

Email:jch1@voicenet.nospamm.com

Date:1998/03/21

Forums:alt.slack

 

Voyde, you are very eloquent and I respect what you have accomplished,

PERSONALLY. Professionally, as a preacher and a philosopher, I think that

you are almost right. Yes, Legume is a racist blowhard. Ok. We accept

that fact. Your pointing that fact out however could hardly be read as a

damaging blow to the man's personal image...that of a racist blowhard,

among other things.

 

You see? You're playing right into his hand, and the hands of the rest of

the Church, by taking this so hard. I've put on Devivals where I was

mocked, and I have been cut out of devivals, too. There are places, like

Brushwood, where the Conspiracy has no reach...however, the SubGenius

Chitlin Circuit is a brutal place where not even those who thrive can make

any decent money. If you want to help the Church, send Stang $30...or buy

a videocassette...or help set up a devival. I don't know what the

arrangements were, I don't know what they became after which telephone

calls, and I really don't care. You're a good writer, maybe you're a

lackluster preacher, I don't know...or maybe you pissed off the wrong

people, or maybe you just were never really "IN" with the right people to

begin with. Forget about them. They're SubGeniuses. The effort you put

forth will be rewarded in kind by J.R. "Bob" Dobbs. Is this chance to vent

your spleen not the Slack your writer's soul expected?

 

 

Anyway, I hope that you can see it in your heart to forgive all of your

Trusted Friends who have Betrayed you...just don't forget to open your eyes

when the Spike comes down.

 

--

Keep It Up,

Ginsu