From spamVictim@gotYourAss.com Mon Dec 08 21:57:39 1997

Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: PIERCED AT LAST!!! or IS CIRCUMCISION A DISEASE, and DO WE NEED TO SPELL IT CORRECTLY?

From: "spamVictim" <spamVictim@gotYourAss.com>

Date: 9 Dec 1997 05:57:39 GMT

 

TarlaStar <!!!bmyers@ionet.net> wrote in article

<66h5va$n3u@snews3.zippo.com>...

> "spamVictim" <spamVictim@gotYourAss.com> wrote:

> >hey, i got 1 over on you...they had to circumsize me TWICE, cause it

grew

> >back the first time.

>

> WHY did they circumsize you in the first place? Did you have some sort

> of infection?

>

>

> Tarla

>

> ***Tarla Star***

 

Hmmmmmm, never heard catholicism referred to as an infection, but the

spaghetti is indeed sticking to the fridge, ....so there goes your proof!

 

There's a wonderful psuedo-pop-psychological-idea floating around that you

should do to your infant boy as was done to you...as if he's gonna look up

at you one day 'round about 5 years old during your obligatory communal

shower and say: "hey DAD, waaaay up there! How come my FREEDOM FIGHTER is

hiding under a stinky blanket, and yours is gloriously parading around in

the buff like the Emperor in that story you read to me this morning?

Howcum dad, howizzzzaaaatttt?"

 

So you answer in a gentle voice: "Son, it all comes down to this. I can

receive oral sex from either Jewish OR Gentile prostitutes...because my

SoleReasonForBeingOnThisPlanet is "kosher", while you will have to seek out

Gentile prostitutes, because they don't worry about kosher or not kosher."

 

and he answers, obviously not satisfied with my pitiful, copout answer: "

but DAD, how can it be that we look so DIFFERENT?"

 

to which you calmly and lovingly reply: "well son, you may have noticed

that my PrinceOfDarkness vaguely resembles your FOREARM, while you are

holding an apple, while your own MissionOfBurma more closely resembles my

pinky finger. Is it even possible for us to move forward in this

discussion from there, considering the span of utterly forgettable years

between us?"

 

So, according to UrbanPsychobabbleMyth, the little wanker will have an

immutable complex, an indellible stain on his self opinion, just because

you have an aircraft carrier, and he's got a skiff with a bow wave.

 

Maybe that's why so many kids have these totally fucked-up relationships

with their fathers... at age five, they saw the startling contrast of dad's

HUGE SPIRE, to their own toodly tadpole. And that was the very last time

they ever caught sight of their father's privates. So here is the kid at,

say, 20, looking at thier probably quite normally proportioned love

porpoise, and thinking that thier fathers are hauling around these frigging

Gila Monsters in their trowsers. Little do they realize that their fathers

had HALF OF THEIR AVAILABLE LENGTH-ON-THE-WATERLINE whacked off in an

horrific pagan blood ritual.

 

spamVictim

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