Subject: X-DAY-ers IRC X-cerpt
From: email@example.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
Date: Wed, 19 Nov 1997 02:43:15 -0600
X-cerpt (edited a little) from 11-9-0 b.x. Sunday Night SubGenius IRC Devival
Very very late at night, after almost everyone else had dropped off to
Stang: Hey ya'll, you should be getting your Stark Fist any minute now,
Tarla: That excites me, Stang.
kevbob: what is a stark fist? is that a 'zine?
JC: There was a screw up at The church of Total Fulfilment....
JC: But they finally went out Friday of this week.
JC: You should have them tomorrow/today
kevbob: really, waht is Stark Fist a 'zine or sumthin?
Nully: with emphasis on the or something
Stang: Praise Total Fulfillment. Truly a sacred Dallas company.
kevbob: how does one get one?
Nully: kev: $30
JC: Their computers went down, very scary almost lost the mailinglist
JC: well the newest one
kevbob: oh, it's part of THAT racket. shoulda figured
Tarla: anything that goes down can't be all bad.
kevbob: tarla: you'd be surprised
Nully: racket. *snort*
kevbob: what ELSE does one get woth 30 dollars?
P-Lil: <-- is talking to Rev. Susie the Floozy by telephone
kevbob: (hoping for, but not EXPECTING a CONCRTE answer EVER from ANYONE)
Stang: Lord, we must always have duplicates of what THEY
have, lest the Judgement be flawwed come X-Day!
JC: oh, ok.. sorry
Stang: For even the Lost Shunned Assholes shall be welcomed aboard --
IF WE HAVE RECORD OF THEIR $30!!!
Nully: So, offer em if you got em
P-Lil gets depressed....
P-Lil: Click... BANG.
Stang: Imagine the horror of being left behind because of a COMPUTER
JC: Send $30 to PO Box 140306 Dallas, TX 75214
Stang: Imagine if that happened to LEGUME.
Stang: Boy would he be pissed.
kevbob: plil: doesn;t believe WHAT??? that you are on the phone with
sumone? yes, i do
Stang: Tell Susie I'm pullin' for her!
Tarla: We all know that, Stang.
P-Lil: You mean "over".
Stang: Well, yeah.
JC: "well let's see.. no I'm sorry sir no Ivan STang on the list..."
JC: Umm check under Smith.. yeah smith
JC: "No sir sorry.. wait here it is..."
JC: "Are you Shelley?"
JC: Umm no...
JC: "well sorry your name is not on the list"
Stang: But... but I'm IVAN STANG! I worked for "Bob" longer than
ANYBODY! Look this MUST be a MISTAKE, I sent my $30 in '97... kinda late
sure, but... PLEASE!
JC: "I guess SOMEONE forgot to add it!"
JC: are you sure you sent it?
Stang: That was JESUS'S responsibility, to keep track of the
Membership List! I handed that responsibility over to Him in... why... why
JUST BEFORE I SENT IN MY $30!!!
|TheEnd|: His card is yellow from age but void
Stang: MAH GAWD NO!!!! I was such a fool... oh god...
Stang: "PULL THE LEVER, DOWN YOU GO."
JC: Well, I guess you'll have to talk to him...
JC: Oh, sorry Rev Stang, I cashed that check and bought Nitrous
JC: I didn't think you really wanted a membership card.
JC: OH MY FUCKING GOD NOOOOO
Stang: MAH GAWD!! It's like... it's like... "BOB" LIED!!! OR FUCKED
UP!!! But that's... that's... well that IS what we worshipped him for...
kevbob: ya, "send thirty $'s to PO" whatever, i'm sick of that
same old crap over and over and over. this is really annoying and fucking
useless. am i an idiot? will i send in 30 dollars i don;t have just
becasue someone keeps saying it over and over and over? fuck no.
*** kevbob has left channel #subgenius
Stang: WHOA!! Kevbob must be a GENIUS! Way too smart for THIS cult. Lucky dude.
Stang: Wha... wha... I'm waking up! It was all a dream! I've been on
the Escape Vessels for 500 years! But WOW... THINK WHAT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN
LIKE IF I HADN'T SENT IN MY $30!!
JC: HA ha, yes Stang it was all just a fantasy created by yourself
JC: but your back now, what do you wnat to do next?
Stang: Ah... whew! For a while there I thought it was REAL!!! MAN!!!
WHAT A GREAT FEAR RUSH!!! I want ANOTHER HIT!! Give me a hit of that...
ummm... how about, I'll have one of those "WHAT IF X DAY NEVER HAPPENS AT
JC: Are you sure you don't want the "Someone pulled a mass sucide
at the X Day party" pill?
Stang: Let's see... I already did the "MASS SUICIDE AT X-DAY..." that
was a REAL bummer. But maybe if I take that AND the "GO BACK IN TIME FROM
THE FUTURE ESCAPE VESSELS AND *PREVENT* X-DAY TO *SAVE* X-DAY FOR THE
*NEXT* TIME AROUND"-ers.
Stang: Yeah, AND I'll chase those two with some of this Thunderbird.
*** Signoff: JC (Jesus Christ)
Revpsych: daymn.. are you actually thinking of material on IRC daymn...
(Stang signs off)
I think this can be turned into the seed of a good start for the ending
scenes of The X-Day Puppet Show script, the script for a puppet show that
the Pinks and UnPaid SubGeniuses can perform for each other in lieu of
electricity or televisions after X-Day -- like the "slide show" that the
feral kids at the end of THUNDERDOME do with cave paintings. A Punch and
Judy depiction of the Story of the SubGeniuses Who Left, and How the World
Got to Be This way. Flying saucers hanging from strings, flashlights and
Black Cats for disintigrator rays, etc. Bad charicature puppets of "Bob,"
Jesus, Clinton, Stang, Unsaved, etc. Sets made with tempera paint and
Copyright 1997 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack