Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: X-DAY-ers IRC X-cerpt

From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

Date: Wed, 19 Nov 1997 02:43:15 -0600

 

X-DAY-ers

 

X-cerpt (edited a little) from 11-9-0 b.x. Sunday Night SubGenius IRC Devival

 

Very very late at night, after almost everyone else had dropped off to

Reality Land.

 

 

Stang: Hey ya'll, you should be getting your Stark Fist any minute now,

right Jesus?

Tarla: That excites me, Stang.

kevbob: what is a stark fist? is that a 'zine?

JC: There was a screw up at The church of Total Fulfilment....

JC: But they finally went out Friday of this week.

JC: You should have them tomorrow/today

kevbob: really, waht is Stark Fist a 'zine or sumthin?

Nully: with emphasis on the or something

Stang: Praise Total Fulfillment. Truly a sacred Dallas company.

kevbob: how does one get one?

Nully: kev: $30

JC: Their computers went down, very scary almost lost the mailinglist

JC: well the newest one

kevbob: oh, it's part of THAT racket. shoulda figured

Tarla: anything that goes down can't be all bad.

kevbob: tarla: you'd be surprised

Nully: racket. *snort*

kevbob: what ELSE does one get woth 30 dollars?

P-Lil: <-- is talking to Rev. Susie the Floozy by telephone

JC: Salvation.

kevbob: (hoping for, but not EXPECTING a CONCRTE answer EVER from ANYONE)

Stang: Lord, we must always have duplicates of what THEY

have, lest the Judgement be flawwed come X-Day!

JC: oh, ok.. sorry

Stang: For even the Lost Shunned Assholes shall be welcomed aboard --

IF WE HAVE RECORD OF THEIR $30!!!

Nully: So, offer em if you got em

P-Lil gets depressed....

P-Lil: Click... BANG.

Stang: Imagine the horror of being left behind because of a COMPUTER

GLITCH.

P-Lil: Missed.

JC: Send $30 to PO Box 140306 Dallas, TX 75214

Stang: Imagine if that happened to LEGUME.

Stang: Boy would he be pissed.

kevbob: plil: doesn;t believe WHAT??? that you are on the phone with

sumone? yes, i do

Stang: Tell Susie I'm pullin' for her!

Tarla: We all know that, Stang.

P-Lil: You mean "over".

Stang: Well, yeah.

JC: "well let's see.. no I'm sorry sir no Ivan STang on the list..."

JC: Umm check under Smith.. yeah smith

JC: "No sir sorry.. wait here it is..."

JC: "Are you Shelley?"

JC: Umm no...

P-Lil: "Ydnax?"

P-Lil: "Sivet"?

JC: "well sorry your name is not on the list"

P-Lil: "Beast?"

Stang: But... but I'm IVAN STANG! I worked for "Bob" longer than

ANYBODY! Look this MUST be a MISTAKE, I sent my $30 in '97... kinda late

sure, but... PLEASE!

JC: "I guess SOMEONE forgot to add it!"

JC: are you sure you sent it?

Stang: That was JESUS'S responsibility, to keep track of the

Membership List! I handed that responsibility over to Him in... why... why

JUST BEFORE I SENT IN MY $30!!!

|TheEnd|: His card is yellow from age but void

Stang: MAH GAWD NO!!!! I was such a fool... oh god...

Stang: "PULL THE LEVER, DOWN YOU GO."

|TheEnd|: -smack-

JC: Well, I guess you'll have to talk to him...

JC: Oh, sorry Rev Stang, I cashed that check and bought Nitrous

with it...

JC: I didn't think you really wanted a membership card.

JC: OH MY FUCKING GOD NOOOOO

Stang: MAH GAWD!! It's like... it's like... "BOB" LIED!!! OR FUCKED

UP!!! But that's... that's... well that IS what we worshipped him for...

duhhh......NO!!!

kevbob: ya, "send thirty $'s to PO" whatever, i'm sick of that

same old crap over and over and over. this is really annoying and fucking

useless. am i an idiot? will i send in 30 dollars i don;t have just

becasue someone keeps saying it over and over and over? fuck no.

*** kevbob has left channel #subgenius

Stang: WHOA!! Kevbob must be a GENIUS! Way too smart for THIS cult. Lucky dude.

Stang: Wha... wha... I'm waking up! It was all a dream! I've been on

the Escape Vessels for 500 years! But WOW... THINK WHAT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN

LIKE IF I HADN'T SENT IN MY $30!!

JC: HA ha, yes Stang it was all just a fantasy created by yourself

for entertainment

JC: but your back now, what do you wnat to do next?

Stang: Ah... whew! For a while there I thought it was REAL!!! MAN!!!

WHAT A GREAT FEAR RUSH!!! I want ANOTHER HIT!! Give me a hit of that...

ummm... how about, I'll have one of those "WHAT IF X DAY NEVER HAPPENS AT

ALL" Pils.

JC: Are you sure you don't want the "Someone pulled a mass sucide

at the X Day party" pill?

Stang: Let's see... I already did the "MASS SUICIDE AT X-DAY..." that

was a REAL bummer. But maybe if I take that AND the "GO BACK IN TIME FROM

THE FUTURE ESCAPE VESSELS AND *PREVENT* X-DAY TO *SAVE* X-DAY FOR THE

*NEXT* TIME AROUND"-ers.

Stang: Yeah, AND I'll chase those two with some of this Thunderbird.

*** Signoff: JC (Jesus Christ)

Revpsych: daymn.. are you actually thinking of material on IRC daymn...

(Stang signs off)

 

 

 

I think this can be turned into the seed of a good start for the ending

scenes of The X-Day Puppet Show script, the script for a puppet show that

the Pinks and UnPaid SubGeniuses can perform for each other in lieu of

electricity or televisions after X-Day -- like the "slide show" that the

feral kids at the end of THUNDERDOME do with cave paintings. A Punch and

Judy depiction of the Story of the SubGeniuses Who Left, and How the World

Got to Be This way. Flying saucers hanging from strings, flashlights and

Black Cats for disintigrator rays, etc. Bad charicature puppets of "Bob,"

Jesus, Clinton, Stang, Unsaved, etc. Sets made with tempera paint and

poster board.)

 

--

Copyright 1997 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian

MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the

Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.

PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB

http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack