Jesus Goes Temping
Reported by Phineas Narco
In the heart of Silicon Valley, one of the fastest growing economies
in the world, corporate downsizing has led to a booming market in
Into this setting walks an unlikely figure of a man. Wearing a
sackcloth garment and sandles, a pager hanging off the sash around his
waist, the Son of God punches in at 9am Monday thru Friday at Guidant
Technologies in San Jose, CA where he works as a 'call coordinator' in
the tech support department. Here, he makes $11 an hour helping
people with computer problems get routed to the right technician.
"It's interesting," says Christ, "I'm kinda getting out of the 'saving
the world' gig. I want to help people on a more personal level, like
letting them know if their software will work in an NT environment, or
making sure the desperate administrator on line 2 gets a call back
that afternoon to troubleshoot his installation problem. That's the
thing that gives me personal satisfaction."
Christ believes things got 'out of hand' the last time he was here
because he chose such a high profile approach to changing things.
Co-worker Lori Miller praises Christ's job skills: "He's incredible.
He's very personable and helpful, ALWAYS on time, and has an
incredible ability to well, make complicated issues very simple. Last
month, I remember my hard drive crashed. I lost months worth of work
that I, uh, hadn't backed up. Well I was in such a state but then
Jesus came over from the lunch room and put his hands on the computer
and said "Data come forth!" and when I booted it up everything was
back like before. Oh, except that now I had Microsoft Publisher. Hey,
I'm not complaining."
Jesus is the most popular worker there. Whether he's turning the
contents of the water cooler into Snapple, showing his co-workers 'the
pencil trick', or producing doughnuts for the entire building out of a
Winchell's dozen, people just like him. People with problems will
often call in asking "can I speak to Jesus?".
"I'm not a tech support person, just a call coordinator" Jesus
explains to a distraught administrator who's server keeps crashing.
"But maybe I can help you my child".
"We've offered him higher positions, even management," says Judy
Wudrow, Jesus' supervisor, "but he wants to remain a receptionist. I
tell him he's wasting his talent and that he could be making a whole
lot more money but he just smiles at me and blesses me".
How did the Prince of Peace come to get a job as a receptionist
"Well I first went to Manpower but they treated me rather shabbily,"
says Christ. "They wanted me to take a drug test and, hah, let's just
say I don't agree with that. I forgave them. But then I just decided
to send my resume to a number of temp agencies. I see it as casting
corn on the ground. Some of the corn will hit hard stone and nothing
will come of it. But SOME corn? hold on, I've got a call on line two"
Here, in a world where upward-mobility is the rule Christ is seen by
some as an underachiever. Others realize that he's not in it for the
"Oh we went out to lunch the other day and he explained it to me,"
says Eddie DeGardo who occupies the cubicle next to Christ's. "He said
at his last job he tried to take on too much responsibility and that
he just got carried away. He tried to change the whole company and he
majorly pissed off management basically, and they nailed him.
Crucified him more like, to hear him tell it. Poor bastard."
"It's just something I want to do right now" says Christ. "Some of the
people are kind of difficult to deal with, but it's up to me to be
loving to them and understand that--oh shit, I forgot I had this guy
"He's great," says Vicki at StarTemps who got Jesus his position at
Guidant two years ago. "I wish he'd do more, but when he's ready to
move on he'll have some good references there. They tell me that if
they have just about any type of problem there, they just turn it over
to Jesus. He's a real? miracle worker".
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