Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: Wow

From: reverand@mindspring.com (Rev. Random the Other)

Date: Fri, 21 Nov 1997 02:33:33 GMT

 

!!!bmyers@ionet.net (TarlaStar) wrote:

 >ljduchez@en.com (Lou Duchez) wrote:

>

>>Wow, I haven't posted to alt.slack in, what, 10 days ... this makes maybe

>>the seventh post I've made in all of November ... and youse guys still

>>argue about me. Guess I'm not the most stubborn arguer on all of

>>alt.slack, eh, Tarla?

>

>Sure you are, Lou. This post proves it. You simply cannot resist

>responding to any post that even REFERS to you.

>

>

>How many points do I get for this one, Random?

 

I bet Lou hadn't even read my "The Game" post, but it sure struck a

chord with a buncha people. I would consider setting up a netpage to

keep track if I didn't know full well that SubG's would CHEAT LIKE

HELL.

 

As far as your points, are you implying what you said here is a lie or

misdirection? And how the hell did *I* get on this thread, anyhow?

Here I was, staying the hell OUT of it, and next thing I know I HAD to

respond because my name gets mentioned....uh oh....ARRRRGHHHH!

 

DAMN glad we don't play by Jamaican convention rules, or you would

have got TWO points,and I would have lost one of MY points for falling

for it!

 

Well, as long as I'm here, I may as well point out that since

suspicion now equals certainty, I find it MIGHTY suspicious that Lou

want's to put as much distance between himself and That Package as

possible. It's almost like NO ONE would suspect Lou....Hmmmmm.

And there IS a Winking Lizard in Tempe...

 

Since I moved to NC I've gotten to see some REALLY entertaining hate.

There was a guy across the street blowing away my neighbors, one

house at a time. Four dead, buncha wounded. I overheard one survivor

in the gas station who said "I saw Larry coming with those guns, and

started to run, and he shot me in the back. I just fell and layed

there, real still. He stood right over me and shot me again in the

shoulder. I just layed there. Then he shot me in the back of the leg.

I just layed there. Then he shot me again in the back, and I just

layed there." I think Larry was pissed at him cuz he was a lazy

worker, always laying about.

 

Not much to say about the guy a half mile down who barbequed another

guy. His dog ran across the street to a neighbor's yard, gnawing on a

half-cooked HAND. Neighbor squealed, and the cops found his

girlfriend's ear (with earring) in the decorations on the kitchen

table, some organs in the fridge, and bits of her brain still stuck to

the inside of the microwave. He shoulda covered the dish with a paper

towel to keep the spattering down. A Rogue SubGenius? Hard to say.

Dumb as hell to let yer dog run off with evidence like that, so maybe.

This next guy, though...

 

A few miles further, and we have a classic case of Hate Escalation.

Neighbor one (Landgrabber) petitioned to have neighbor two (Chef Ah

Soul) 's little four foot by six foot plot of weeds, down at the end

of his property, declaired his (Landgrabbers) since Landgrabber wanted

to build a fence nice and straight, and the property line curved off

at the end, and well, Landgrabber had been keeping it mowed all this

time. In NC one can simply mow another's property for seven years, the

other thinking "How Nice," and then have it declared YOURS. Legally.

 

Anyhow, Chef Ah Soul fought the petition once the fence was built (his

first inkling...he actually had called the cops for the neighbor

building the fence on his land) and lost. So anyway he starts putting

up nasty signs, and so did the neighbor, and the town counsul made

them both take the signs down. So Chef Ah Soul puts up a bigger sign

on the roof of his car, and starts running his lawn mower outside

Landgrabber's window at 6am, letting it idle for a few hours every

day. Well, Landgrabber decides to have a Party one day, and invited

all his friends and business associates. They are all in the back yard

sipping drinks and making pleasant conversation, when Chef Ah Soul

fires up the grill. Stinkin' est thing yew ever smelt. Landgrabber

saunters over and impresses the boss by saying "Haw Haw, watcha

cookin? Smells like Shit!" Or something equally clever. The Chef

pulls from the cooler Landgrabber's Dog's Head, and impales it on the

fencetop, eyes glazed and tongue lolling, watching the party.

 

Chef Ah says proudly to the TV News cameras "Hell, it was a hunnert

dollar fine, misdemeanor, and worth every penny."

 

Bark-choy, anyone? Terrier-aki?

 

Rev. Random the Other

treacherous cretins RULE!