Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Re: Send my $30?


Date: Sun, 23 Nov 1997 20:54:10 GMT (Mrichmond1) wrote:

 > I have felt like a SubGenius all of my life, but didn't know it. I thought I

>was the only thinking person in a world full of doltish, slobbering automatons;

>the only original in a sea of clones; a Bird of Paradise among penguins, so to

>speak. Now I know that I am a SubGenius on a planet full of humans. I will

>spare you the gruesome details of my life among the Pinks - suffice it to say

>that I have overcome many trials and tribulations, as all SubGenii must. Over

>the last several months, since two good friends of mine introduced me to the

>Church, I have discovered the true meaning of my Difference - I feel my Yeti

>genes throbbing with new-found realization of power, and my Slack has

>multiplied immensely. I have read Revelation X, immersed myself in the

>SubSite, and heard several Hours of Slack. I am ready to send my thirty

>dollars, but for one snag. . .

> I have been following this newsgroup for a few weeks now, and I must say it's

>rather disturbing. With a few exceptions, those who post here seem to be

>interested in nothing but indiscriminate insults and psuedo-intellectual

>one-upmanship. Those few who try to post anything meaningful, or just

>entertaining, get instantly eviscerated by a pack of blind, razor-snouted

>predators who seem capable of nothing but playing "I'm a more tormented,

>disgruntled SubGenius than you." YES, the power of Hate; YES, verbal death to

>those who deserve it (until such time as a more meaningful death can be

>arranged); YES, uninhibited expression of the self; but what is the point of

>infinite trading of uninspired insults among those who are supposed to be

>cultivating a higher plane of existence?


STOP!!! ok, we were pepping along, she said the man in the gaberdine

suit was a spy, everything was froopish and plippity, then you face

planted in the pavement. We will now come back and get you. ok.


Supposed? Upon what did you base this supposition? Higher plane than

what? Cultivating it? What the heck are we growing there, and what's

it's current market value? The Luck Plane is tilted in as many ways as

it takes to achieve/receive/perceive SLACK. Expect... everything.

Anticipate... everything. The OMNIVERSE is your OYSTER, and yer gonna



> I'm not interested in SubGenii

>tearing each other apart just for jollies; I'm interested in SubGenii tearing

>apart Pinks and Bobbies BECAUSE THEY DESERVE IT!


Wow, yer new, right? Uh, if you tear apart bobbies, they spoil.

Don't tear them apart unless they're crippled, and taste bad....

then you throw the parts into the prote vats. Otherwise, don't tear

them apart until you plan to eat 'em, or they'll be really stale and

rot sets in quickly.


> Are the SubGenii not a

>superior race? Hell, if I want pointless bickering, I can go back to teaching

>middle school, where the bickering is at least interesting.

> So, I'm looking for opinions. Those of you who are capable of meaningful

>discourse/intercourse, please tell me: Are the descendants of the Yeti truly

>non-social beings, incapable of associating meaningfully even with their own

>kind? Or is the Church so infested with posturing, blowhard,

>less-than-dingleberries-on-the- asshair-of-the-least-true-disciple-of-Dobbs

>that the real SubGenii are just as lost here as they are in the world of the

>Pinks? Should I give up on what I thought was the last bastion of intelligence

>and free thought in a world festering with Normalcy? SHOULD I SEND MY THIRTY


>Emmett the Immanent

>Choirboy of the Church of the Drive-thru Elvis

>Once and Future Pastor of the Mosque of Mixed Metaphii


oh, come now. really. You've asked some legitimate questions, and for

a teacher only been slightly preachy about it, so i'll try and give

you a reasonable answer.


lemme illustrate how the crucible of atl.slack tempers the metal of

the great and near great: you come in and say dumb things. other

people say other dumb things. dumb things have been said. PRABOB!


I recomend that newbies here avoid all faqs and lurking, and just jump

right in, find a wall, and start slamming your head into it as hard as

you can.


As to sending in $30 ? Of course you should. There's no damn saucers

coming (ok, well, there ARE, but they're not OUR saucers, dammit!),

but the IS a secret nightclub/laboratory in Dobbstown that you can't

get in without a card, so get one. Since the contents of the

membership packages seem to change a lot, you never know what sort of

weird stuff they'll send you; I've never heard of anyone complaining

about how their money was spent, or what they got.


most of us are content to snipe at each other merrily, but there are a

few here who only pretend to think it's ok to say whatever you want in

the newsgroup. SHUN THEM, they are SISSYBUGS!


imagine that, because he isn't funny, galagher is sent to hell.

Grab a corpse, young demon, and using it as a shield, observe:


welcome to alt.slack