Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: Do you live with an alien?

From: axel@SPAMXverinet.com (axel heyst)

Date: Tue, 10 Mar 1998 22:52:34 -0600

 

Hey all-found this on one of the sci. groups. I think it's perfectly clear

that every single one of us is an alien, as are our pets:

From the WEEKLY WORLD NEWS online,

 http://www.wwnonline.com

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. The following story appeared in Weekly World News several years ago.

. We are reprinting it here by popular demand.

 

. ARE YOUR FRIENDS, NEIGHBORS AND CO-WORKERS SPACE ALIENS?

 

. Millions of Americans work, pal around with or even live with space

. aliens -- and don't even know it!

 

. Because aliens may look like humans or be disguised as humans, you

. can't always tell by appearance. But experts say you can learn to spot

. these slipperty E.T.s by looking for the following tip-offs:

 

. - Weird or mismatched clothes. "Often, space aliens don't fully

. understand the different styles, so they wear combinations that are in

. bad taste, such as checked pants with a striped shirt or a tuxedo jacket

. with blue jeans," said noted UFO investigator Brad Steiger.

 

. - A strange diet or unusual eating habits. Space aliens may eat

. french fries with a spoon or gobble down large amounts of pills, experts

. say.

 

. - A bizarre sense of humor. Space aliens who don't fully understand

. earthly humor may laugh during a serious company training film or tell

. jokes that no one understands, Steiger says.

 

. - Secretiveness. Aliens may be unusally closemouthed about their

. personal affairs, experts say.

 

. - Unusual sleep or work patterns. "An alien's day on his home planet

. may be much shorter or longer than ours, so he may sleep or work at

. strange hours of the day or night," Steiger said.

 

. - A mood change, fear or a bizarre physical reaction around high-tech

. hardware that radiates electromagnetic waves. For example, an alien may

. break out in a rash around a microwave oven, said Dr. Thomas Easton, a

. theoretical biologist and futurist.

 

. - Misuse of everyday items. "A space alien not familiar with things

. on Earth may use typewriter correction fluid as fingernail polish, for

. instance," Steiger said.

 

. - A tendency to talk to himself." A space alien may not be used to

. speaking as we do, so he may practice speaking when he thinks no one can

. hear," Steiger said.

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. How To Tell If Your Pet Is An Alien From Outerspace

 

. The following story appeared in Weekly World News several years ago.

. We are reprinting it here as a companion piece to the alien test

. article.

 

 

. HOW TO TELL IF YOUR PET IS AN ALIEN FROM OUTER SPACE

 

. Your dog or cat could well be an alien from outer space, says noted

. UFO researcher and author Brad Steiger.

 

. "One of out five dogs and cats are space pets -- descendants of

. original alien creatures that were 'seeded' on Earth 50,000 years ago,"

. Steiger said.

 

. "Millions of Americas own space pets and don't even know it, but you

. can tell by looking for special characteristics.

 

. "Space pets look and act very similar to ordinary dogs and cats, but

. they have mental powers far greater than Earth animals."

 

. In 20 years of research, Steiger developed a "pattern profile" of

. space pets based on thousands of interviews with pet owners. Using

. computers, he compiled statistics showing that one in five cats and dogs

. are space pets.

 

. Said Steiger: "As a rule, space pets have very charismatic

. personalities, extremely protective natures, very compelling eyes and

. healing powers.

 

. "And because they also have psychic powers, they get along better with

. humans because they can bond very closely to their masters."

 

. Space pets can also interfere with their masters' dreams, said

. Steiger, co-author of the blockbuster book, "The Star People".

 

. "That's a sure sign that a cat or dog is descended from space aliens.

 

. "If someone dreams about his pet in a remote and alien landscape, it's

. very likely he's dreaming about his pet's home planet. Or the pet can

. appear in his master's dream as an alien animal, or as a humanoid with

. the same name as the pet.

 

. "And space pets can warn owners of danger. Many lives have been saved

. by alien pets waking their masters in the night to warm then of a gas

. leak or a fire.

 

. "Space pets also exhibit startling healing powers.

 

. "Owners experiencing pain or discomfort from numerous illnesses like

. headaches, arthritis and back pain have documented their pets' bizarre

. ability to cure their illness."

 

. Another UFO expert, Haydon Hewes, said 25 years of research also has

. convinced him that millions of Americans own space pets. From lifetime

. to lifetime, aliens have taken over the bodies of human and animal

. life-forms, he said.

 

. "The dog, the cat or even the bird you love so much could easily be

. from outer space," Hewes said.