Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: stupid laws (fwd)

From: flunk@giblets.com (RevLurch)

Date: Wed, 10 Dec 1997 17:33:42 GMT

 

courtesy of <just4laughs@usa.net>

Haven't researced these myself, but the people that compiled this list claim all of these are still on the books.

Stupid U.S. laws:

Minnesota:

--It is illegal to tease skunks.

--Every man in Brainerd is required by law to grow a beard.

Michigan:

--A state law stipulates that a woman's hair legally belongs to her

husband.

--Under state law, dentists are officially classified as

"mechanics."

--In Clawson, it is legal for a man to "sleep with his pigs, cows,

horses, goats, and chickens."

New York:

--In Staten Island, it is illegal for a father to call his son a

faggot or queer in an effort to curb girlie behavior.

--In NYC, "it is disorderly conduct for one man to greet another on

the street by placing the end of his thumb against the tip of his

nose and wiggling the extended fingers of that hand."

North Carolina:

--It is illegal to have sex in a Churchyard.

--It is illegal to make love on the floor of a hotel room between

two double beds.

Oklahoma:

--Whale hunting is strictly forbidden.

--People who make "ugly faces" at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.

Ohio:

--In Columbus, it is illegal for stores to sell corn flakes on

Sunday.

--In Oxford, it is illegal for a woman to disrobe in front of a

man's picture.

--In Youngstown, it is illegal to run out of gas.

Oregon:

--The town of Hood River prohibits the act of juggling without a

license.

Montana:

--In Whitehall, it is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks

attached to the wheels.

--It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail.

Nebraska:

--If a child burps during a church service in Omaha, his or her

parents may be arrested.

--It is illegal for a mother to give her daughter a perm without a

state license.

Florida:

--Unmarried women who parachute on Sundays will be jailed.

Georgia:

--In Quitman, it is illegal for a chicken to cross the road.

--In Columbus, it is illegal to sit on one's porch in an indecent

position.

Pennsylvania:

--"Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must

pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that

blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass. If the horses

appear skittish, the motorist must take his car apart piece by

piece, and hide it under the nearest bushes."

Rhode Island:

--Its illegal to throw pickle juice on a trolley.

Tennessee:

--It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.

--In Dyersburg, it is illegal for a woman to call a man for a date.

--In Memphis, it is illegal for a woman to drive by herself; "a man

must walk or run in front of the vehicle, waving a red flag in order

to warn approaching pedestrians and motorists."

Texas:

--The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned because it contains

a formula for making beer at home.

-It is illegal to milk another person's cow.

Utah:

--A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his

wife in his presence.

Virginia:

--In Richmond, it is illegal to flip a coin in any eating

establishment to determine who buys a cup of coffee.

--In Lebanon, it is illegal to kick your wife out of bed.

Vermont:

--It is illegal to deny the existence of God.

--It is illegal to whistle underwater.

--Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear

false teeth.

Arkansas:

--A man can legally beat his wife, but no more than once a month.

California:

--In L.A., a man may legally beat his wife with a leather strap, as

long as it is less than 2 inches wide, or she gives him permission

to use a wider strap.

--It is a misdemeanor to shoot any kind of game from a moving

vehicle, unless the target is a whale.

Massachusetts:

--It is illegal to wear a goatee without a license.

--North Andover prohibits its citizens from carrying "space guns."

--In 1659, the state outlawed Christmas.

Indiana:

--Monkey's are forbidden to smoke cigarettes in South Bend.

Illinois:

--In Chicago, it is illegal to take a french poodle to the Opera.

--According to state law, it is illegal to speak English. The

officially recognized language is "American."

--In Joliet, it is illegal to mispronounce the name Joliet

 

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