Newsgroups: alt.slack


From: !!! (TarlaStar)

Date: Mon, 23 Feb 1998 13:44:48 GMT (Doktor DynaSoar) wrote:


>Ginsu wrote:

 >} Yeah. It really ROCKS MY WORLD. It makes me cum, it really does. It's

>}so fantastic I'm thinking of giving up on everything else except producing

>}this ONE DEVIVAL, this one experience that will bring us all together in

>}some multimedia communal shared neural event and keep World Peace by

>}fostering a heightened sense of fraternity between wildly disparate worlds

>}containing minds of a dissimilar cut.


>He was such a nice Kid Ginsu. I can't imagined what happened to him.

>I know his owners are just heart broken. I mean, there he was, World's

>Greatest Sidekick, and all of the sudden his sarcasm gland just exploded.

>Leaked all over his hate and watered it down.


>I blame all the Kant they force fed him.


I blame the X-day drills. They almost got me too, remember?


It's hard to discover that most people who believe themselves to be

SubGenii are actually...pretty damned normal. Ginsu has to get past

the fact that we all don't levitate at leisure (you and I excepted of

course), that some of us have wrinkles and/or bad breath, and that for

the most part, your average SubGenius seems a great deal like your

average Pink. Once you get past that, you can turn it around and see

the entire world as potential SubGenii. For those of us who need to be

special, well...we can always claim that we were in on it before

anyone else and that Stang likes us best.


It's one of those half-full/half-empty things. You can either see it

as "most SubGenii are boring Pinks" or "most Pinks can become



I'm here to say that I am on the side of DOBBS. He wants a soul-mix

that is rich with SubGenius PAIN and I am here to give it to him.

Mutherfucker kept me out of jail, it's the least I can do.


The difference between the SubGenius and the Pink is NOT in the music

that you listen's in the PAIN. We are the antennae of the

planet. We don't live full time in the surface world. We are Sub. We

feel the undercurrents. We look at what They are NOT showing us as

well as what they show. We feel the pain that They cover up with sex,

drugs, and flashing smiles. We have the sex, we take the drugs, we

flash the smiles and we STILL feel the pain. We are the antennae, we

feel it first, but eventually the entire body but be made aware of the

pain or it will die. Our insane howls are the body's warning system.


We must make the rest of the body hurt as much as we do. Maybe then,

they will put their gangrenous limbs into the fire of cleansing and

healing. For is it not better to be cauterized than killed? Sure you

walk around on a scarred stump and all the other planets laugh at you

behind your back, but at least you're THERE. Don't underestimate the

power of a stump in your asteroid, Buddy.


They think they're happy. We know they're not. They can't be happy.

They live their lives like hive animals. They lock themselves into a

mindset, decorate their ruts and call it "home." They give up freedom

for security but crave freedom anyway. They give up their Slack for

consistancy but hate the boredom and seek more and more new ways to do

the same damned thing. They give up their time for money, then turn

right around and say, "Money can't buy happiness."


The truth of the matter is that you get anyone, from Calvin the

retarded paperboy to an Armani-suited District Court Judge, all by

themselves with assurances of absolute privacy and secrecy and they

will break the rules...happily, I might add. They will do it because

none of us likes living under other people's rule. When a society

becomes too restrictive, too rule-bound, too culturally consistant, it

will breed SubGenii. And they will feel the pain.


And they will make a clammoring. They will make their pain known

through humor. They will laugh at the pain because if they start

crying, they might never stop. Laughing is such pleasure that they can

almost tolerate the pain.


To Do Dobbs Will, we must spread the pain around. We must make the

Pinks as miserable and hyperaware as we are. We must show them the

hypocrisy, cowardice and dishonorable behaviors that caused our

gangrene in the first place. We must demonstrate the powers that

unfettered creativity possesses. We must choose our own path, our own

code of honor that is based not on what we were told, but what each of

us has learned through pain. And we must speak of that code to

everyone we meet. We must be true to ourselves and let that truth show

them how much pain they make themselves live in; how little they are

willing to receive in exchange for so much of their lives.


This is my one and only life. It is the only chance at have at this

wonderous thing called "consciousness." I will not live it for others

or at their direction. My consciousness is the only thing in the world

that is mine, and They can't have it. There is pain in resistance. We

are social animals, we like others of our own kind. We can show them

that Pain is worth it, that standing alone is okay...if you can laugh

at everyone else.


Ginsu, the glass is half-full. Now quit being a self-indulgent shit

and start making us laugh.


Reverend Mutha Tarla Star of the Little Sisters of the Perpetually

Juicy; a Proud jism schism of the Church of the SubGenius.

Worshipping Juicy Retardo and "Connie" Dobbs since 1986.