Newsgroups: alt.slack

Subject: VD Marriages.

From: hyp3rcrav3@aol.com (Hyp3rcrav3)

Date: 15 Feb 1998 09:50:49 GMT

 

I, Prince (of pieces), somehow got himself into having to perform marriages on

That HORRIFYING DAY, St. Valentine's Day. I had Three versions; The 45 Minute

Marriage which I called The Quickie. I had 6.66 Quickie marriages. Let me

Explain.

I had two woman as the first Wedding of 45. opne i think was totally straight

from a sexual point of view...

Next was a straight couple but they were just friends and employeees of the

Source Cafe. Another straight couple that will probably never Fuck.

A gay man and a Straight woman were married for 45 min. You should have seen

him when I asked if they would consumate this wedding.

Next. the owner of the place got up to marry the terrier name Dante. This dog

belongs to one of her employees and a good guy etc. I had to give her the Over

Night Sensation, the wedding that lasts until Sunrise, instead of the 45 minute

blah because it was too too.

I had another 45er from a straight pair from the S.C.A. but they'll never

consecrate either.

Here's where 6.66 comes in. I had a triple wedding with three woman. One of

them had some Pagan name like elf wolf daughter or something spelled way

different than I just spelled it phonetically. But they were all married

together and the two without the Pagan Name were cousins. Kool Hunh?

I gave one Permawed instead of the Quickie to this 15 girl and her female

friend because she was below the age of consent and I believed that when she

came of age during this marriage the legality would be retro-active. This one

won't be consecrated either

I gave one very normal couple a perma wed. They even filled out the spot for

(Your Diety Here) as "God".

The next Permawed I sold was not ritualized or performed in public.

Luckily... an under age except in Missourri mother and her dude who didn't want

to be seen with her in Publick.

The things we do for bucks. Oops! I was doing this shit to help keep the

only decent, (Read only), occult bookstore in rockford, hellinois open. It

doubles as a coffee shop or it would be gone. The con tried to burn it out

once. Now it's trying to squeeze it out but... we even put on a Torture King

Show Here. ( Two really, we media blitzed them.) That'll show these Glorps!

SubG/Discords Will out.

The marriages only brought in $27--. If someone had wanted to be legal I

would have made a buck but.... No one knew it was SubGenius until I showed up.

I only borrowed from Bucky a couple of times.

 

Prince (of pieces)

THREADBARE Rag of the SubGenius Church of hyperCRAVEia and PARAPSITEology

A.K.A. the Emmaculate Deception of the Latter Day Snits. Yours in J.R."Bob"

Dobbs... Pray for Slack 23/93

See ya on the 5th with a fifth and an oxegen mask, (In case they forget we

need it.)

And I Promise to quit doing benefits.